From: ducpercy@aol.com (DucPercy)
Date: 17 Jan 1999 00:01:50 EST
Folks,
Since we could probably all use a laugh these days, here we go. The 10 conspiracy theories most likely to actually be true. Yet for some reason, no one hears about them. Please remember this is all in good humor.
10. The widows and orphans fund is really a slush fund for the Baronial Council. Where do you think Seamus gets his new kilts and G replaces all those slashed tunics?
9. Dalamar is really a robotic dueling machine, constructed by the Doctor and programmed by Bishop. Injuries you say? That is proof positive. Who would believe a machine could get injured? They are a blind.
8. Lupton and Baphe have really been bosom buddies all these years and their falling out was a ruse to get us all to lower our guard. Ever wondered why Lupton is always laughing?
7. I'm really in the pay of the Loyal Barons. Who gives them more excuses to pick fights than I do?
6. The serving lads are all millionaires. They just work here for the tips. And so gullible patrons buy them ponies.
5. Jesse Troyan only challenges Renegade Barons because he is secretly Dal's long lost son.
4. The commoners are planning to break into Karen's office and rearrange the records so they get all the fancies and no one else gets any.
3. Karen and Drake are really the same person. Drake already had her baby and is raising it secretly. She is pretending to be someone else so no one realizes she had given birth yet.
2. Jonalyn is really the greatest duelist who ever lived and plans to someday be Overlord. She is pretending to be so hapless to drive the odds up and increase the take for the 'widows and orphans fund'.
1. Isn't it strange that you have never heard any of these before?
::Unsigned::
((Author's note: I know, these really aren't as funny as they should be. But heck, I'm not the comedian I want to be.))
Ten Conspiracy Theories You Haven't Heard
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From: xerzesm@aol.com (Xerzes M)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 12:33:24 EST
4. The commoners are planning to break into Karen's office and rearrange the records so they get all the fancies and no one else gets any.
Hey! No one supposed to know about that! Wait,um...er...I said nothing.I did nothing.
heehee
-Xerzes Maureen
Jobber
Date: 18 Jan 1999 12:33:24 EST
4. The commoners are planning to break into Karen's office and rearrange the records so they get all the fancies and no one else gets any.
Hey! No one supposed to know about that! Wait,um...er...I said nothing.I did nothing.
heehee
-Xerzes Maureen
Jobber
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From: carnage669@aol.com (Carnage669)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 13:00:59 EST
::Dressed all in black, face hidden by his cloak, a strange man walks past the cork. Suddenly, he spots a woman and ducks behind the bar. Peering one eye out, he notices the woman has sat down. The man crawls along the floor, ducking behind tables and chairs as he makes his way over to the cork again. When within 10 feet, the man jumps into the air, does a forward flip, landing into a head-forward tumble, and rolls up to the board. Once there,
he quickly glances from side to side, making sure he wasn't caught. He posts a note::
To the Poster of this post,
We know who you are. Any further attempts to hinder or make our plans known to the public will result in bad things. I repeat, bad things. We will give you until 3 moons past the 4th hour on the last day of the 2nd month of the 99th year to rectify this situation. Any further interferance in the master plan shall result in bad things. I repeat, bad things. If interferance continues, we will give you until the 8th hour, after the 17th moon, of
the 3rd month after the 2nd month of the 4th year after the 95th year at 3 minutes past the 11 o'clock hour to make amends with our faction, or strange things will happen to your water supply. I repeat, strange things. Should problems insist, you shall hear from us again.
::After posting it, the man jumps, dodges, and flips his way back out the door, all the while, the woman sitting there, laughing::
Date: 18 Jan 1999 13:00:59 EST
::Dressed all in black, face hidden by his cloak, a strange man walks past the cork. Suddenly, he spots a woman and ducks behind the bar. Peering one eye out, he notices the woman has sat down. The man crawls along the floor, ducking behind tables and chairs as he makes his way over to the cork again. When within 10 feet, the man jumps into the air, does a forward flip, landing into a head-forward tumble, and rolls up to the board. Once there,
he quickly glances from side to side, making sure he wasn't caught. He posts a note::
To the Poster of this post,
We know who you are. Any further attempts to hinder or make our plans known to the public will result in bad things. I repeat, bad things. We will give you until 3 moons past the 4th hour on the last day of the 2nd month of the 99th year to rectify this situation. Any further interferance in the master plan shall result in bad things. I repeat, bad things. If interferance continues, we will give you until the 8th hour, after the 17th moon, of
the 3rd month after the 2nd month of the 4th year after the 95th year at 3 minutes past the 11 o'clock hour to make amends with our faction, or strange things will happen to your water supply. I repeat, strange things. Should problems insist, you shall hear from us again.
::After posting it, the man jumps, dodges, and flips his way back out the door, all the while, the woman sitting there, laughing::
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From: sirduel@aol.com (Sir Duel)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 13:16:46 EST
::blinks:: Strange things wit' ah wat'ehr supply? Wait...have ye already gotten me?
--Coron de Copacheta--
13 Locke Dell, Rhydin.
Date: 18 Jan 1999 13:16:46 EST
::blinks:: Strange things wit' ah wat'ehr supply? Wait...have ye already gotten me?
--Coron de Copacheta--
13 Locke Dell, Rhydin.
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From: quickvarmg@aol.com (QuickVarMG)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 14:37:52 EST
Hmm...
I was thinking on the lines that Jona was MadMadMax dressed as a female. They do speak the same, no?
Kidding, Jona.
House Dragoon Talanador is actually a faction which drips holy water on an altar while slashes are being praised.
I am the best dueler ever, but have taken it easy on everyone for the past, um, two years.
AJ and Dal slip some weird plants into their opponent's drink prior to the challenge in an attempt to incapacitate them
All the rings have trap doors which drop duelers into the water which (as it has been scientifically proven) has the ability to impregnate
Nobody's really having disagreements on the boards, we're just trying to catch up to this fellow I've heard about before... Who has heard of "Jerry Springer"?
The real baron's rings are being hidden somewhere. The rings the barons are donning were pulled from a crackerjack box.
The monkey seen in the arena as of late is Seamus' inner child crying out.
If SLASH were an acronym, it could say: Score Like A Super Hero...?
Some of my fruitcakes from Christmas are still lurking about the arena late at night... Beware!
Var Medici-Giovanni
±
|¯Proud father, proud husband¯|
|¯Holder of the Tenth Ring¯|
|¯Soul dedicated to Noelle¯|
|¯Devoted to his children¯|
Date: 18 Jan 1999 14:37:52 EST
Hmm...
I was thinking on the lines that Jona was MadMadMax dressed as a female. They do speak the same, no?
Kidding, Jona.
House Dragoon Talanador is actually a faction which drips holy water on an altar while slashes are being praised.
I am the best dueler ever, but have taken it easy on everyone for the past, um, two years.
AJ and Dal slip some weird plants into their opponent's drink prior to the challenge in an attempt to incapacitate them
All the rings have trap doors which drop duelers into the water which (as it has been scientifically proven) has the ability to impregnate
Nobody's really having disagreements on the boards, we're just trying to catch up to this fellow I've heard about before... Who has heard of "Jerry Springer"?
The real baron's rings are being hidden somewhere. The rings the barons are donning were pulled from a crackerjack box.
The monkey seen in the arena as of late is Seamus' inner child crying out.
If SLASH were an acronym, it could say: Score Like A Super Hero...?
Some of my fruitcakes from Christmas are still lurking about the arena late at night... Beware!
Var Medici-Giovanni
±
|¯Proud father, proud husband¯|
|¯Holder of the Tenth Ring¯|
|¯Soul dedicated to Noelle¯|
|¯Devoted to his children¯|
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From: sirduel@aol.com (Sir Duel)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 15:09:18 EST
::hoots::
Var-y, Var-y, Var-y...::picks up a chair and tosses it to the side, before pondering::
I think I had a run-in with those fruit-cakes last night...I feel bloated..
--Coron de Copacheta--
13 Locke Dell, Rhydin.
Date: 18 Jan 1999 15:09:18 EST
::hoots::
Var-y, Var-y, Var-y...::picks up a chair and tosses it to the side, before pondering::
I think I had a run-in with those fruit-cakes last night...I feel bloated..
--Coron de Copacheta--
13 Locke Dell, Rhydin.
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From: khrystawlf@aol.com (KhrystaWlf)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 16:50:27 EST
::chuckles::
Coron~~~
I think that would be from tha water, luv... not tha fruitcakes....
Khrys
Date: 18 Jan 1999 16:50:27 EST
::chuckles::
Coron~~~
I think that would be from tha water, luv... not tha fruitcakes....
Khrys
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From: xerzesm@aol.com (Xerzes M)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 19:11:37 EST
Coron's pregnant?? Run!!
-Xerzes Maureen
Jobber
Date: 18 Jan 1999 19:11:37 EST
Coron's pregnant?? Run!!
-Xerzes Maureen
Jobber
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From: occurs@aol.com (Occurs)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 21:15:43 EST
::Reading very carefully as her eyes get wider and wider. Finally, after giving her head a firm nod, wanders off muttering::
So tha' explain it.
Date: 18 Jan 1999 21:15:43 EST
::Reading very carefully as her eyes get wider and wider. Finally, after giving her head a firm nod, wanders off muttering::
So tha' explain it.
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From: dalamarmaj@aol.com (DalamarMaj)
Date: 18 Jan 1999 22:56:06 EST
One of them damn fruitcakes attacked me the other night. Why do ya think my swords broken all of a sudden. That was one tough fruitcake
Dalamar Majere
::Laughs madly and runs from the boards::
Date: 18 Jan 1999 22:56:06 EST
One of them damn fruitcakes attacked me the other night. Why do ya think my swords broken all of a sudden. That was one tough fruitcake
Dalamar Majere
::Laughs madly and runs from the boards::
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From: silphions@aol.com (Silphion S)
Date: 19 Jan 1999 01:03:42 EST
::she grins, and tacks something over the papers under this particular subject::
Aerenth is not who he says he is, he is really Dalamar's alter-ego that takes all the official losses out of his real record.
G'nort hates slashes during the DoS, but it's a common and popular move. Do ya think he hates thrusting in the *other* DoS? (think three letter words for "S")
Var's fruitcakes are only spawns of himself. He IS the mother of all fruitcakes!
The RDIs are secretly plotting to take over the world, they're using the rings to brainwash us duelers into thinking that our training for world conquest is merely a sport.
That's not any water that Nemo washes the plates with... how do you think I got my gender-changing curse? BEWARE THE DISHES!
All of you are wrong.. I found out Coron is Mel Gibson in disguise!
The dwarves of DoS are sectely plotting to raid the alcohol, thus incapitating all possible compitetion.
The original writer of this subject is not even real, it's merely a servelliance robot sent by the RDIs to make sure we suspect nothing!
The human commoners have secretly discussed the use of the making the 3 foot salami they found even bigger, the only problem is wasn't perfect, had a bit bitten off of it. They plan to use it to expirement on making their own tavern completely made of Salami.
§ilphion §hintiyo
To Live... and to Die...
Light with Darkness
Order with Chaos...
The Essence of Balance
Date: 19 Jan 1999 01:03:42 EST
::she grins, and tacks something over the papers under this particular subject::
Aerenth is not who he says he is, he is really Dalamar's alter-ego that takes all the official losses out of his real record.
G'nort hates slashes during the DoS, but it's a common and popular move. Do ya think he hates thrusting in the *other* DoS? (think three letter words for "S")
Var's fruitcakes are only spawns of himself. He IS the mother of all fruitcakes!
The RDIs are secretly plotting to take over the world, they're using the rings to brainwash us duelers into thinking that our training for world conquest is merely a sport.
That's not any water that Nemo washes the plates with... how do you think I got my gender-changing curse? BEWARE THE DISHES!
All of you are wrong.. I found out Coron is Mel Gibson in disguise!
The dwarves of DoS are sectely plotting to raid the alcohol, thus incapitating all possible compitetion.
The original writer of this subject is not even real, it's merely a servelliance robot sent by the RDIs to make sure we suspect nothing!
The human commoners have secretly discussed the use of the making the 3 foot salami they found even bigger, the only problem is wasn't perfect, had a bit bitten off of it. They plan to use it to expirement on making their own tavern completely made of Salami.
§ilphion §hintiyo
To Live... and to Die...
Light with Darkness
Order with Chaos...
The Essence of Balance
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From: sirduel@aol.com (Sir Duel)
Date: 19 Jan 1999 15:52:45 EST
Shhhh...! 'tis a secret, doh I'd say 'tis a pretty gad cover up...
--Coron de Copacheta--
13 Locke Dell, Rhydin.
Date: 19 Jan 1999 15:52:45 EST
Shhhh...! 'tis a secret, doh I'd say 'tis a pretty gad cover up...
--Coron de Copacheta--
13 Locke Dell, Rhydin.
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From: lrdartides@aol.com (LrdArtides)
Date: 19 Jan 1999 19:54:23 EST
Sil! That was -our- secret! You just wait till I get my hands on you.....
Aerenth Artides
More Common then Common
Date: 19 Jan 1999 19:54:23 EST
Sil! That was -our- secret! You just wait till I get my hands on you.....
Aerenth Artides
More Common then Common