What's life for anyway?

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What's life for anyway?

Post by DoM Archive » Mon Mar 29, 2004 4:05 pm

Date: 2/8/00 8:54 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Lunar Mask

Walking onto the isle after hours, Vincent was hardly surprised at the fact that even the goblins were nowhere to be seen. He made his way up to the bar and posted a non-descript piece of paper there, careful to eliminate all traces that he was there before leaving.

To those who bother to take the time to read this, i hope that I can impart some of my wisdom to you. these basic facts on life that I have compiled are almost never wrong, but who knows, they may be obselete by tomorrow. Have fun perusing!

1) There are exceptions to every rule and saying, including this one
2) If you're going to hit someone bigger than you, make sure you have either fast legs or a good mortician
3) Gentlemen, women are not trophys, maids, or for that matter, anything but lovely creatures that should be handled with the utmost respect, dignity, and honor. Treat them accordingly
4) Ladies, men are not cash machines, waiters, slaves, or for that matter, anything but stupid idiots. Treat them accordingly
5) Something always goes wrong when you don't want it to
6) If you run into a wall at a full sprint, it will hurt.
7) Pain is temporary, pride lasts only as long as you do or until you get married, whichever comes first.
8) Anyone who thinks saving beautiful women in distress is easy never had to deal with halitosis, dandruff, shyness, forgetting the roses along with your spellbook in your spare tights, leaving your tuxedo at the cleaners, or life in general
9) Never put nutmeg in crepe suzettes
10) Peanut butter sandwiches were not meant to have mayonaise put in them.
maybe I'll get back to these sometime later when I have more time. Until then, the guru of life wishes you a happy existence
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