Frontal Offensive

[DoS Archive]

From: anubikar@aol.com (AnubiKar)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 04:40:29 EST


Roughly nine months ago, I came to purchase a fiesty slave named Jaycynda Ashleana.
Through the feeble, comic efforts of her friends-a loyal assemblage, if lacking in other redeemable qualities- to rescue her, I came to know this Community. I am a mere businessman, just like a tavernkeeper, or merchant of jewelry...but since my chosen commodity is flesh, it was automatically assumed that I wished to bring havoc among the Duel of Swords, merely because I owned a member of it's community and at that point in time, a Baroness. She was
merely a slave to me, her title mattered not. But yet, it was considered some grandiose, overly ambitious plot to bring the Community to it's knees.


Guess what? This time...I really do mean harm, I really am the bad guy. Don't get me wrong; I wish to cause no large-scale damage that would be impossible to carry out, that would be detrimental to me in the long run. I want a degree of power, not even the ultimate at this point, I want you people to look upon me and see, much to your chagrin, a man who helps to make vital decisions in this backwater. As one of the more poorly educated members of
your current ruling class so succinctly put it, "I wunt a purty barun's ring".

At this time, I am not of proper ranking to attempt so. But soon I shall be. The river can be forded with nothing more than a simple collection of easily obtained victories. Rather pathetic, if you stopped to think on it. My choices are ample. Zafiroo is a happy-go-lucky fool who has no skills in life other than that of the blade. Cletus demands to be held in a position of import, yet he absolutely no agenda. Zamhulem and Galin Taelca are mindless
warriors who are not fit to hold power. Var is the antithesis of all that is sensible. Daelin is a large sword-rattling barbarian. Damien belongs in a sanitarium, not on a council. Sad as it is to say, the only baron of any worth is the Troyan beast. And all of this is headed by a neophyte who is only barely out of his innocence.

What is this? A notice of intent to challenge, such as others have done before, and will do in the future. I just felt like doing it now. I'll close this by saying I expect the verbal retaliation-it is, after all, what you people specialize in. Gnort will make a barely literate singular sentence insulting my worth. Jonalyn Starfare will call me a blight in so many words, in an iron-thick accent I can't understand. Octogenerian Ian MacKenzie will hit
me with wry insults. Cassius Maximius will make veiled threats that he can't back up, and will do so in an incredibly obnoxious ink. Drakewyn will babble on about true honor and power, or something along those lines, only proving that women in this community do not know there proper place. If guessing this feedback was a game of chance, I would put my manor on the line without a moment's hesitation.
.


Enjoy. And sleep with one eye open.




Anubis Karos

[DoS Archive]

From: oortael5@aol.com (OorTael5)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 08:49:19 EST


Lord Karos,

....And I know ye how? If I recall correctly I've never even seen ye before, much less met ye. I find it quite amusing how ye already have me figured out without even having seen me before. Bravo to ye sir, bravo indeed.

-Galin

[DoS Archive]

From: drakewyni@aol.com (Drakewyn I)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 09:03:34 EST

Godling.

Once again, you have shown so many of your weaknesses.
In but an hour's conversation I delved the depths of your soul and revealed to you your ever weakness... for they were so easy for me to find.
You have forgotten my words to you that night, which shows to me in clear detail the weaknesses I spoke of.

The only thing I see here is that perhaps, just perhaps, you are attempting to overcome what I saw as your primary weakness... but I doubt that.


Lady Drake, aka the Gryphon.

[DoS Archive]

From: novagreys@aol.com (Nova GreyS)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 14:31:59 EST

Nova Grey Shadow took a look at the posted letter. Then he took another look. Foreign words and phrases were never his strong suit, especially when it came to names. But this time, he was sure he had the pronunciation down.
"A-newbies Care-oss," he said plainly. "Well, if that don't beat all."
With that, he decided to pen a note:

"Anubis,

Nice name. Good luck with getting that rank and ring. I look forward to belittling you behind your back before doing so to your face. It's all in fun, mind you. Hope you aren't too touchy.
By the way, Drake says you have a lot of weaknesses. Just wanted to make sure you understood that since her address to you was sort of vague.
But seriously. Nice name.

Nova Grey Shadow"

[DoS Archive]

From: quickvarmg@aol.com (QuickVarMG)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 15:44:37 EST

Best he could give me was that I'm an antithesis to anything sensical? Ironic, that coming from a person who thinks people is a commodity.
He could have at least said that my jokes were stupid or something.

And Nova, he is quite touchy. You should hear him when you call him "Anubi." The fit he throws is worse than calling an ogre "stupid."


Var Medici-Giovanni


Proud Father, Proud Husband

[DoS Archive]

From: jaycyashleana@aol.com (Jaycy Ashleana)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 17:02:12 EST

"He could have at least said that my jokes were stupid or something."

Var,

He didn't have to say that your jokes are stupid because everyone else alreay says it, and you know it wouldn't do for him to state something really true, y'know?

Jokingly,
Jaycy

[DoS Archive]

From: carnage669@aol.com (Carnage669)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 17:12:07 EST

>He didn't have to say that your jokes are stupid

Really, why state the obvious?

joking,
Cletus

[DoS Archive]

From: daedragonsblade@aol.com (Dae Dragonsblade)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 19:51:31 EST

Shutup Cletus..that's why you insist on being important with no real agenda. Idiot.

Why do I have to be a large sword-rattling barbarian? Ok..I'll take the large part..but I don't use my sword all the time..plus, I happen to govern a country fairly and judiciously (is that a big enough word for you?)..I wouldn't think I'm a barbarian. But, that's your opinion..and as my father used to say: "Opinions aren't worth half-as-much as the people who give them." So when it all boild down to it..your opinions have to be worth a really large
negative number..

Oh yeah..Have a nice day.


::scrawled in blazing blue ink::

~Daelin Dragonsblade~

~Regent King of Dragonia~

~Twice Baron of the Seventh and Current Baron of the Eleventh~

~Bearer of the Blue Opal, IceDancer~

[DoS Archive]

From: gnrtdrgoon@aol.com (GnrtDrgoon)
Date: 19 Mar 2000 22:10:06 EST



In a monosyllabic word that the poor idiot can understand, One that will sum up what I feel would be the entire communities thoughts of this "person."

"Yawn."

G.

[DoS Archive]

From: karnafexx@aol.com (Karnafexx)
Date: 20 Mar 2000 00:40:24 EST

I've seen this joker a few times. He's pretty entertaining for a man who looks like ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag.

Good luck, Snapper Head.

BRK

PS: Yes, Drey, I said it again.

[DoS Archive]

From: jonalyn@aol.com (Jonalyn)
Date: 20 Mar 2000 05:02:42 EST

Peruses the note, shakes her head.

Gentles,

Jus' another joker in ta pack. Some poor village mus' be bereft of its fool agin.

Jonalyn Starfare

PS: Ast clumsy ast thou art, one couldst sleep peacefully, rise at leisure, travel miles, complete a hundred tasks an' still hae time fer a warm bath, an apéritif, a fione dinner, an' still hae days ta prepare fer yuir arrival. Ast well the copy Madame Silvertree's penchant fer offering an intent ta challenge, an' comically add th' th' addled wench wh' knows nothin' atall 'o 'onor wouldst babble about it.

PPS: G, make that a double yawn.

[DoS Archive]

From: ianmackenzie@aol.com (Ian MacKenzie)
Date: 20 Mar 2000 08:29:53 EST

"Octogenerian Ian MacKenzie will hit
me with wry insults."

Such as: apparently the number system you were taught has serious flaws. I don't look a day over 50, and I'm nowhere near 80.

With all respect to your stupidity,
Ian Rex.

[DoS Archive]

From: dreystarke@aol.com (DreyStarke)
Date: 20 Mar 2000 10:02:10 EST

You know, you have to be a guy with a lot of padding behind his idiocy to be called a Snapper Head. Woohoo.






- Drey D'erest Sanchez SIZE=5 PTSIZE=16>Starke

[DoS Archive]

From: anubikar@aol.com (AnubiKar)
Date: 21 Mar 2000 01:57:32 EST



All right. Let me start this by saying a finer trap has never been laid. I knew you people would respond to my intent, and I told you so.
A small part of me expected this Community
to think for a change and disregard everything
I've said just to prove me wrong, and frankly, for having overestimated your collective intelligence, I actually felt a fool for a few seconds. Now on to answering my fan mail.

Galin: As a two-time baron of swords, your name has spread far and wide, as well as word of your faults. I would think a leader of this community would be aware that others have heard of him without him having heard of them. As for knowing who I am, many in these realms would attest to the fact that ignorance is bliss, at least as far as knowing me is concerned. One less thing to keep you up at night in your bed of straw.

Nova: It is with boundless amusement that I read of your infatuation with my name, a name with a heritage older than most kingdoms, and the mirth is only topped by the knowledge that I am mocked by a man whose own moniker roughly translates to "New Grey Shadow", as if they were some sort of comic hero. Mock to me your heart's content, sir.
I will take it in stride, content in theknowledge that comic relief is the highest you can aspire to, and that there's nothing you can actually do about my ascent.

Drakewyn: You thought you found my primary weakness, but you were wrong. You stood there, patronizingly telling me the problems of a life countless eons old, while I lazily sat back and allowed you to talk yourself into dehydration. Remind me to get you a scold's bridle next time I see you.

Jonalyn: Remind me to purchase you one as well. I found it amusing that you found the time to bash your ancient rival in estrogen, yet devoted one half-hearted sentence to insulting me. I suggest you reprioritize. The Lady Silvertree won't butcher you like a hog. I will.

If you weren't responded to, you weren't worth the time.


Anubis Karos

[DoS Archive]

From: sircassius@aol.com (SirCassius)
Date: 21 Mar 2000 03:11:35 EST

Well... I find Var's jokes rather....funny..and his logic usually....infalliable... Oh well

::shrugs::

Caius