Date: 1/15/2000 1:47 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
She was drowning in abysmal blackness, drowned in the thickening mass of fear. Silvered eyes strained against the bondage of dark to gain a semblance of sight. Anything.. anything she could grasp would give her comfort.. a sense of security. How long had it been? How long ago had she fed the twins, those which she was not to see again? Her heart hurt, her spirit diminished like never before.. yet something edged
on power as well. She felt stronger than she had in years, she felt "alive".. a raw surge of hungered need for the very strains of life which she had long since given up on. Power.
A guttural scream, primal in all instincts raged through the silence that enveloped her. In that symphony of tones was rage, hatred, need and fear all rolled into one. Bach would have been proud. She was desperately hungry and her stomach was twisting in on itself.. but there was something else.. a burning sensation deep within the bowels of her body. Somewhere in the midst of doe brown and silver eyes, a red lining shined brightly and the
demonic look was being watched.. watched through the darkness she now knew as home.
* * * *
"Caedia? Caedia, wake up sweetie, I want to show you something."
She woke up in the warm sanctuary of strong arms.. they were loving arms, ones that she wanted nothing more than to cuddle deeper into and go back to sleep with her cheek against that strong chest. They shook her slightly.
"Sweet baby James.." each word was a muffled whine against the crisp morning air, but a happy whine. She was happy to be alive through another night, and to be woken up by the one she knew as friend. She was safe again.. safe in his arms, only this time she was bigger and barely fit. She didn't want to wake up now, instead she wanted to rest peacefully in the sanctuary of his love. The one true love she knew since she was five and her parents
had died. He was her savior then, and apparently now.
"I want you to see this sunrise." His words and voice were just as soft as she remembered them to be. Yes, she was in heaven with him now.
Silvers sifted open to peer out from the top of the building they were perched on. So like old home that she felt a pang of remorse before lifting sight up to the sky. The sun was indeed beautiful, splashed with the different colors of the rainbow as if God had discovered water paints again and had simply splattered the droplets so that they meshed and formed many different colors in themselves. She took a deep breath and sighed into his chest,
wrapping her arms around him tightly like a child holding onto their parent. He was a second parent to her, he had taught her so much.. her aim, her joy of music, and together they had created their own world. It was when she thought of the name he used to wake her up that alarm rose and she glanced up into the black man's face. He looked down at her and smiled slightly, his entire form surrounded with a thin golden thread that gave him a glow.
"Hey little fire, you've got people to protect. You have family to watch after and love, he needs you." She nearly whimpered as he used his old nickname for her, it was something he only used when discussing serious matters.
"But he doesn't love me. He doesn't even care, all he does is yell and scold me." She was now whining like a three year old might when faced with a toy-stealing sibling who went sobbing off to mom to tattle.
"Things aren't always what they seem Caedia, sometimes the gold plated lining hides the silver polish beneath. Find that silver.. allow yourself to trust and love. But it's not time for you to sing with me again. You have many obstacles to fight through, but always remember family.. always remember love. It's worth living for no matter what the degree it is."
"But I'm so lonely." She sighed, tightening her arms about him, and the pathetic tone that portrayed her true feelings played on even her own heart strings. She wanted to cry, sob in the safety of his arms and beg to never go back... but she knew it was a futile cause.
He moved again, bringing her line of sight once more to the sun without removing her from her position. "There is always beauty if you know where to look for it. I will always be in the sun singing for you.. look to that for comfort. I will always be in the moon for when your nights need company.. just find me."
~You just call.. out my name... and you know where ever I am.. I'll come running... oh yes I will.. to see you again. Winter, spring, summer or fall.. all you've got to do is call.. and I'll be there yes I will, you've got a friend. Ain't it good to know, you've got a friend.~
Tears found her eyes and spilled over as his voice smoothed out her fears, and it was true.. she wasn't as lonely anymore. Somewhere during his song, she had cried herself back to sleep.. a deep comfortable sleep.
* * * *
She woke up sometime later with a deep pang for her brother, a need once more to be ensconced in the arms of warmth and security.. but she was still enveloped with the darkness and the cold wall at her back. This time, instead of a cry of rage, it was one of longing.. as if she forgot how to speak English and only knew communication through screams. Again fatigue swept over her and she fell into that, relieved.. anything to be away from the
solitary confines of nothingness.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
The Darkness Falls before Light. (Caedia)
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Re: The Darkness Falls before Light. (Caedia)
Date: 1/16/2000 12:50 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
* * * *
It was raining hard that night.. thunderstorms had been a common occurance that whole week, but this night was condusive to the heaviest of rains and gloom. All the patrons in the Pink Flamingo were feeling the pressure of the heaviest skies and were drowning themselves in other liquids inside. Tony had no trouble that night as everyone was too down themselves to start any trouble, and Annette had somehow managed to lose a bit of her bouncy go
lucky steps. Caedia was perhaps the only one in there who had a full heart and a smile on her face, but she too was buried in pleasing the crowd with her fingers on the antique piano teasing out a melody forlorn and comforting as her voice.
~I.. want you to know... that I do love you, though you can't see it now. Cause when I.. needed you so.. I could not budge you.. and you made me say.. make a move or move away... Now I cannot wait for you... It's something that I just can't do. No, I will not wait for you.. anymore.~
James was leaning against the corner of the bar, his back against the wall.. he knew what he was doing even if Caedia didn't. The black man was dying and didn't know how to tell the small soul that was singing her heart out at the piano. Tears tugged at the corner of his eyes as he listened.. everyone had a plan from God, his clock was running low and he had no way to stop it.
~I.. once was afraid of leaving something.. that felt safe to me.. But I .. I must make this change.. cause you've done nothing.. and I wont get hurt this time, or be the fool who's left behind~
That was the last time she would see James for awhile.. he was to leave her there with her new gaurdians. He wasn't an official one himself, but had known the couple for many years, and had proceeded to bring Caedia with him during many trips to see how she would work out. The piano had won her over, and her voice had won the couple over. It was serendepity.
~Now I cannot wait for you, it's something that I just can't do. .. No, I will not wait for you.. anymore.~
Caedia was singing the song in her heart for the little boy in her dreams. The silver eyed blonde boy who was tickling her at an apparent birthday party.. her fifth. She could see the five candle clearly, and the love and joy apparent in all of the people present there, but she could hear his laugh. She could feel his soul... but who was he?
~The heart has moved away.. there's no way I can stay.. and somewhere deep inside, you'll always have a place.. ~
~but I can't wait for you.. I can't wait for you.. ~
A few years later Matteo, her supposed uncle, would get ahold of a drunken, drugged up, and deadly little girl and would challenge her in many ways that even the deadly streets of the world she lived in couldn't. He would taunt her with how she wasn't as good as this boy "Tareth" and how she wasn't really a Thorn.. and when she finally mastered most of his teachings, she would run away only to end up running into this Tareth guy. Her greatest
challenge.. and it was only after victory and him telling her that he always knew that his sister could learn, did she see the boy in her dreams.
~cause you drove me to say.. make a move, or move away...... Now I can't wait for you.. that's something that I just can't do.. No, I cannot wait for you, Oh, it's something that I just can't do.. ~
She had a past... and now she had a future, and a name.
~No, I will not wait for you...... anymore. Anymore.. ~
* * * *
The inky darkness lifted for just a moment and in her weakened state, she could remember a soft hand tilting her chin back just a bit and the feel of cold cool water filling her mouth. She drank needingly but the hunger still burned in her stomach like a raw wound being scrubbed by sand. She tried to struggle, but her bonds held her tight and her voice betrayed her by only uttering a moan softer than a spring wind, then finally rasped free as
she could no longer feel the presence of someone in front of her.
"James.. Tareth..? Bane? Jen? Tareth... " She whimpered slightly each name growing more and more distant and whined, wanting nothing more than to curl into herself, "someone hold me.. please." Even Janella's harsh glance would have been welcome in place of the stony darkness. The whisper died into the abysmal silence and tears fell as the rain had in her memory. With no piano and no song to sing, she could only fall back into
unconsciousness.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
From: CaediaThrn
* * * *
It was raining hard that night.. thunderstorms had been a common occurance that whole week, but this night was condusive to the heaviest of rains and gloom. All the patrons in the Pink Flamingo were feeling the pressure of the heaviest skies and were drowning themselves in other liquids inside. Tony had no trouble that night as everyone was too down themselves to start any trouble, and Annette had somehow managed to lose a bit of her bouncy go
lucky steps. Caedia was perhaps the only one in there who had a full heart and a smile on her face, but she too was buried in pleasing the crowd with her fingers on the antique piano teasing out a melody forlorn and comforting as her voice.
~I.. want you to know... that I do love you, though you can't see it now. Cause when I.. needed you so.. I could not budge you.. and you made me say.. make a move or move away... Now I cannot wait for you... It's something that I just can't do. No, I will not wait for you.. anymore.~
James was leaning against the corner of the bar, his back against the wall.. he knew what he was doing even if Caedia didn't. The black man was dying and didn't know how to tell the small soul that was singing her heart out at the piano. Tears tugged at the corner of his eyes as he listened.. everyone had a plan from God, his clock was running low and he had no way to stop it.
~I.. once was afraid of leaving something.. that felt safe to me.. But I .. I must make this change.. cause you've done nothing.. and I wont get hurt this time, or be the fool who's left behind~
That was the last time she would see James for awhile.. he was to leave her there with her new gaurdians. He wasn't an official one himself, but had known the couple for many years, and had proceeded to bring Caedia with him during many trips to see how she would work out. The piano had won her over, and her voice had won the couple over. It was serendepity.
~Now I cannot wait for you, it's something that I just can't do. .. No, I will not wait for you.. anymore.~
Caedia was singing the song in her heart for the little boy in her dreams. The silver eyed blonde boy who was tickling her at an apparent birthday party.. her fifth. She could see the five candle clearly, and the love and joy apparent in all of the people present there, but she could hear his laugh. She could feel his soul... but who was he?
~The heart has moved away.. there's no way I can stay.. and somewhere deep inside, you'll always have a place.. ~
~but I can't wait for you.. I can't wait for you.. ~
A few years later Matteo, her supposed uncle, would get ahold of a drunken, drugged up, and deadly little girl and would challenge her in many ways that even the deadly streets of the world she lived in couldn't. He would taunt her with how she wasn't as good as this boy "Tareth" and how she wasn't really a Thorn.. and when she finally mastered most of his teachings, she would run away only to end up running into this Tareth guy. Her greatest
challenge.. and it was only after victory and him telling her that he always knew that his sister could learn, did she see the boy in her dreams.
~cause you drove me to say.. make a move, or move away...... Now I can't wait for you.. that's something that I just can't do.. No, I cannot wait for you, Oh, it's something that I just can't do.. ~
She had a past... and now she had a future, and a name.
~No, I will not wait for you...... anymore. Anymore.. ~
* * * *
The inky darkness lifted for just a moment and in her weakened state, she could remember a soft hand tilting her chin back just a bit and the feel of cold cool water filling her mouth. She drank needingly but the hunger still burned in her stomach like a raw wound being scrubbed by sand. She tried to struggle, but her bonds held her tight and her voice betrayed her by only uttering a moan softer than a spring wind, then finally rasped free as
she could no longer feel the presence of someone in front of her.
"James.. Tareth..? Bane? Jen? Tareth... " She whimpered slightly each name growing more and more distant and whined, wanting nothing more than to curl into herself, "someone hold me.. please." Even Janella's harsh glance would have been welcome in place of the stony darkness. The whisper died into the abysmal silence and tears fell as the rain had in her memory. With no piano and no song to sing, she could only fall back into
unconsciousness.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
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Fade to Black. (Caedia)
Date: 1/17/2000 9:14 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
The darkness was now as familiar as a home to her, a comfort that didn't really come from the fact that she was used to it persay as she was just resigned to the fact that this was to be her place. In and out of this strange darkness and dreams, she wasn't sure if she was alive or dead.. and even if she knew, how was she to know when she crossed over from dreams into the real world? Perhaps it was all a dream, or
all real now. She was in hell.. that had to be it, and in that pondering of what exactly hell was kept her thoughts from noticing the darkness ebbing away until it had almost transpired entirely.
The darkness had movement.. sounds.. something to be aware of, but this new grey was bleak and silent as an oppressing blanket that barely allowed breath. In the total chaos of black she had been able to think or shut down thoughts at will, it gave her control and a power over herself.. this new grey offered nothing but a chance to think. It was light without sun, misty without moisture, and so solidly persistent in its coloring and making she
was sure she was frozen in time. While the darkness gave hope, the grey sapped everything of comfort and strength from her being. She had no will anymore and the terrible despondency she had been fighting against won over. One could go mad in this place without hope and without anything to listen to save for the nagging voice of destruction that usually ran rampant in anyone's mind.
As in other dreams, or realism's, she could move freely, but everywhere she moved was just like the spot before it. Everywhere she looked was nothing but a mirror image of that grey cloudy area, she would have even been grateful to smack her head on a tree.. stub her toes on a rock, anything but this cold nothingness. She felt the first trace of madness tickling at her throat and almost got out the psychotic giggle before something did
change.
How long had she been wandering aimlessly? How long had she been pressed into despair and loneliness before things changed? It could have been minutes.. it could have been weeks, but the next thing she knew was that she felt jaws of hatred opening behind her. She spun to look, only to be aware that the grey was still the same flat space it had when she had walked through it moments ago. Something had changed however, and fear welled up in the
back of her throat. It was coming. Something. Something so dreadful that it caused her muscles to move on their own accord and the next thing she knew was that she was running.. running towards nothing and away from everything.
Silvers were wide with fear, adrenaline pumped and caused all normal functions on high to allow her desperate flight the freedom it needed. She turned to look back yet nothing was there save for that awful greyness and quite suddenly she was just another actress in a badly scripted horror movie. The ground had given way, dropped slightly below itself when all the times before it had been nothing but smooth unforgiving land. She fell flat on her
stomach scraping up her hands which had instinctively jerked forward to catch herself. Her cheek scraped against the barren land and she winced as starbrites flashed in front of her eyes and the blackness the fall had caused.
Pushing herself up she blinked harshly several times, mostly to clear her vision and the pain, but also because she was seeing a marble floating in the air before her fallen form. It was so familiar.. so... comforting. But why? And why and how was it hovering before her? Did it want something from her? Was it a resident on this strange place? It took her a moment to realize that it wasn't flying before her nor a "person" of this place, but
instead it was hanging delicately on a very thin strand of wire and formed some sort of protective barrier.
Fingers reached out above and below the bauble testing to see if it held a magnetic forcefield and received no pain. Curiosity was quelched quickly however when she turned her head towards the path she had been running from. Something was coming, and the bleak grey had finally changed into a darker mass. Several actually.
Pushing herself up with a frightened intake of breath, she hurtled over the string and back behind to find a man sleeping in that ring.
"Help! Something's coming!" He didn't answer, didn't have time really.. he had woken up and was now holding another of those baubles she had seen floating in his hand. It all happened too quickly for her as she was crouched in a huddle behind him, watching as he expertly took out the horrid mass of beasts that she had been running from.
Again, as she watched him (wanting to lose her lunch along with him from the sights) she felt that agonizing twinge of something greater than she. This man in front of her was important.. very important. She wanted to reach out and comfort him... to hold him and thank him, but she didn't dare.
"Thank you." She spoke it carefully towards him, then again louder as she neared him. He was still breathing heavily and was bent over so she leaned out to smooth his cheek, but her fingers passed through him.
Fear never tasted so violent as it did then and the bile that rose in her throat threatened to heave her entire insides out remorselessly. She wasn't. It was that simple. He hadn't woken up due to her, he had simply heard and/or felt the same fear that had caused her to start her flight. He hadn't been protecting her, he didn't even know she existed. Tears fought down her face and the sound of her own startled and pained scream startled her
further. She was sinking.
He was so close.. and yet so far.. and had no idea that somewhere near him, a woman was drowning in fear. Why did she want him so? Why did he strike a nerve in her that screamed comfort? Why was he so familiar and so strange at the same time? And why did it hurt so when he walked away without looking back?
"Help me." She now felt nothing more than a mouse would in a maze that didn't make sense.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
From: CaediaThrn
The darkness was now as familiar as a home to her, a comfort that didn't really come from the fact that she was used to it persay as she was just resigned to the fact that this was to be her place. In and out of this strange darkness and dreams, she wasn't sure if she was alive or dead.. and even if she knew, how was she to know when she crossed over from dreams into the real world? Perhaps it was all a dream, or
all real now. She was in hell.. that had to be it, and in that pondering of what exactly hell was kept her thoughts from noticing the darkness ebbing away until it had almost transpired entirely.
The darkness had movement.. sounds.. something to be aware of, but this new grey was bleak and silent as an oppressing blanket that barely allowed breath. In the total chaos of black she had been able to think or shut down thoughts at will, it gave her control and a power over herself.. this new grey offered nothing but a chance to think. It was light without sun, misty without moisture, and so solidly persistent in its coloring and making she
was sure she was frozen in time. While the darkness gave hope, the grey sapped everything of comfort and strength from her being. She had no will anymore and the terrible despondency she had been fighting against won over. One could go mad in this place without hope and without anything to listen to save for the nagging voice of destruction that usually ran rampant in anyone's mind.
As in other dreams, or realism's, she could move freely, but everywhere she moved was just like the spot before it. Everywhere she looked was nothing but a mirror image of that grey cloudy area, she would have even been grateful to smack her head on a tree.. stub her toes on a rock, anything but this cold nothingness. She felt the first trace of madness tickling at her throat and almost got out the psychotic giggle before something did
change.
How long had she been wandering aimlessly? How long had she been pressed into despair and loneliness before things changed? It could have been minutes.. it could have been weeks, but the next thing she knew was that she felt jaws of hatred opening behind her. She spun to look, only to be aware that the grey was still the same flat space it had when she had walked through it moments ago. Something had changed however, and fear welled up in the
back of her throat. It was coming. Something. Something so dreadful that it caused her muscles to move on their own accord and the next thing she knew was that she was running.. running towards nothing and away from everything.
Silvers were wide with fear, adrenaline pumped and caused all normal functions on high to allow her desperate flight the freedom it needed. She turned to look back yet nothing was there save for that awful greyness and quite suddenly she was just another actress in a badly scripted horror movie. The ground had given way, dropped slightly below itself when all the times before it had been nothing but smooth unforgiving land. She fell flat on her
stomach scraping up her hands which had instinctively jerked forward to catch herself. Her cheek scraped against the barren land and she winced as starbrites flashed in front of her eyes and the blackness the fall had caused.
Pushing herself up she blinked harshly several times, mostly to clear her vision and the pain, but also because she was seeing a marble floating in the air before her fallen form. It was so familiar.. so... comforting. But why? And why and how was it hovering before her? Did it want something from her? Was it a resident on this strange place? It took her a moment to realize that it wasn't flying before her nor a "person" of this place, but
instead it was hanging delicately on a very thin strand of wire and formed some sort of protective barrier.
Fingers reached out above and below the bauble testing to see if it held a magnetic forcefield and received no pain. Curiosity was quelched quickly however when she turned her head towards the path she had been running from. Something was coming, and the bleak grey had finally changed into a darker mass. Several actually.
Pushing herself up with a frightened intake of breath, she hurtled over the string and back behind to find a man sleeping in that ring.
"Help! Something's coming!" He didn't answer, didn't have time really.. he had woken up and was now holding another of those baubles she had seen floating in his hand. It all happened too quickly for her as she was crouched in a huddle behind him, watching as he expertly took out the horrid mass of beasts that she had been running from.
Again, as she watched him (wanting to lose her lunch along with him from the sights) she felt that agonizing twinge of something greater than she. This man in front of her was important.. very important. She wanted to reach out and comfort him... to hold him and thank him, but she didn't dare.
"Thank you." She spoke it carefully towards him, then again louder as she neared him. He was still breathing heavily and was bent over so she leaned out to smooth his cheek, but her fingers passed through him.
Fear never tasted so violent as it did then and the bile that rose in her throat threatened to heave her entire insides out remorselessly. She wasn't. It was that simple. He hadn't woken up due to her, he had simply heard and/or felt the same fear that had caused her to start her flight. He hadn't been protecting her, he didn't even know she existed. Tears fought down her face and the sound of her own startled and pained scream startled her
further. She was sinking.
He was so close.. and yet so far.. and had no idea that somewhere near him, a woman was drowning in fear. Why did she want him so? Why did he strike a nerve in her that screamed comfort? Why was he so familiar and so strange at the same time? And why did it hurt so when he walked away without looking back?
"Help me." She now felt nothing more than a mouse would in a maze that didn't make sense.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
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Re: Fade to Black. (Caedia)
Date: 1/20/2000 5:35 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
She had no idea how long the despairing grey had been gone as her entire being had been obliterated of all instincts. She had remembered crying after some guy had left.. who was he? Why was he important to her? She remembered lying down and giving up all thoughts of life or want of anything really. She had succomed to the urge to just lay there until the end had come, even though the stranger, so familiar and
treasured, kept ahold of a brisk part of her mind. If she woke up and if she had any strength left, she would fight to find him again.
Well.. she had woke up to surrounding darkness.. again. There was something different of this darkness however.. a peace, and a pinpoint of light beyond in the distance. This was it! She had been judged and would now be given the chance to make a dash for the light.. right? Isn't that how these things go? She would give anything right now to go anywhere else but back to that merciless grey.
In that distance was another gift of hope. Her name. She could hear someone calling to her, a voice that was oddly familiar. Warmth, hope, comfort and security.. that was what was offered from the light.. that had to be true. She took a deep breath and focused her energy to head towards that wanted freedom.
It came too soon. The light at the end of the tunnel was indeed an oncoming train as the saying goes, for it wasn't the light of creation.. no, this was the light filtering off of many a lit torches. It was blinding and hurt her eyes, and there wasn't warmth here, she was freezing and apparently had been for awhile as her bones were aching. There was no freedom here, she couldn't move her arms or legs as they were shackled to the cold cruel
wall behind her. There was no angels to guide her towards a soft cloud, but instead many strange men looking at her with fearful eyes and an edge of caution that made her feel like a demon. Her stomach was on fire from the need of food, and that strange feeling of a deeper hunger also lie dormant as she struggled to assess her current situation. Now she understood what a newborn felt like and why they cried.
"Caedia?" The voice was in her mind and suddenly she knew exactly who it was.
"Belzare?" She shivered at how weak and needing her voice sounded in response. She had not spoken aloud otherwise she would have been horrified to hear how raspy and old her voice sounded now.
"The men will cut you down now and you will do exactly as I say, understood?"
She had never heard his voice this forcefull or cold, but it suddenly dawned on her that she was a prisoner. His prisoner. She nodded numbly too weakened and weary to do anything else.
Foreign words rattled over the air and for a moment no one moved. As if frozen in time they stood and stared at her frightfully until finally one man edged forward and did cut her left hand down. Swiftly another moved forward and freed her left foot and someone else that she had not tracked freed her right foot. No one wanted to move towards her right hand however.
Another command was shouted, this one a bit angry although Caedia swore she heard and underlying hint of understanding.
"When your right hand is free, you will fold it immediately against your heart in a fist and keep it there until further notice. Understood?"
Confusion flooded her mind for a second but didn't hinder the second weary nod of her head. Silvers slid closed as she rested her head against the back wall. Everything hurt badly, her muscles seemed to be giving out on her and her stomach was nearly eating itself. She felt her right hand freed and responsively tucked it in a fist against her heart. She didn't really understand why, but she knew that she didn't want to spend anymore time on
that wall. Her legs gave out as her arms were now free and left her to crumple on the floor.
"Now stay still my friend, and trust the men alright?"
His voice had softened as though seeing her in that state brought him pain. Maybe it did.. Caedia had no way of knowing, and for the moment didn't have time to consider it. Hands were enclosing on her.. suffocating it felt like until the movement of rising made her stomach even more queasy.
From: CaediaThrn
She had no idea how long the despairing grey had been gone as her entire being had been obliterated of all instincts. She had remembered crying after some guy had left.. who was he? Why was he important to her? She remembered lying down and giving up all thoughts of life or want of anything really. She had succomed to the urge to just lay there until the end had come, even though the stranger, so familiar and
treasured, kept ahold of a brisk part of her mind. If she woke up and if she had any strength left, she would fight to find him again.
Well.. she had woke up to surrounding darkness.. again. There was something different of this darkness however.. a peace, and a pinpoint of light beyond in the distance. This was it! She had been judged and would now be given the chance to make a dash for the light.. right? Isn't that how these things go? She would give anything right now to go anywhere else but back to that merciless grey.
In that distance was another gift of hope. Her name. She could hear someone calling to her, a voice that was oddly familiar. Warmth, hope, comfort and security.. that was what was offered from the light.. that had to be true. She took a deep breath and focused her energy to head towards that wanted freedom.
It came too soon. The light at the end of the tunnel was indeed an oncoming train as the saying goes, for it wasn't the light of creation.. no, this was the light filtering off of many a lit torches. It was blinding and hurt her eyes, and there wasn't warmth here, she was freezing and apparently had been for awhile as her bones were aching. There was no freedom here, she couldn't move her arms or legs as they were shackled to the cold cruel
wall behind her. There was no angels to guide her towards a soft cloud, but instead many strange men looking at her with fearful eyes and an edge of caution that made her feel like a demon. Her stomach was on fire from the need of food, and that strange feeling of a deeper hunger also lie dormant as she struggled to assess her current situation. Now she understood what a newborn felt like and why they cried.
"Caedia?" The voice was in her mind and suddenly she knew exactly who it was.
"Belzare?" She shivered at how weak and needing her voice sounded in response. She had not spoken aloud otherwise she would have been horrified to hear how raspy and old her voice sounded now.
"The men will cut you down now and you will do exactly as I say, understood?"
She had never heard his voice this forcefull or cold, but it suddenly dawned on her that she was a prisoner. His prisoner. She nodded numbly too weakened and weary to do anything else.
Foreign words rattled over the air and for a moment no one moved. As if frozen in time they stood and stared at her frightfully until finally one man edged forward and did cut her left hand down. Swiftly another moved forward and freed her left foot and someone else that she had not tracked freed her right foot. No one wanted to move towards her right hand however.
Another command was shouted, this one a bit angry although Caedia swore she heard and underlying hint of understanding.
"When your right hand is free, you will fold it immediately against your heart in a fist and keep it there until further notice. Understood?"
Confusion flooded her mind for a second but didn't hinder the second weary nod of her head. Silvers slid closed as she rested her head against the back wall. Everything hurt badly, her muscles seemed to be giving out on her and her stomach was nearly eating itself. She felt her right hand freed and responsively tucked it in a fist against her heart. She didn't really understand why, but she knew that she didn't want to spend anymore time on
that wall. Her legs gave out as her arms were now free and left her to crumple on the floor.
"Now stay still my friend, and trust the men alright?"
His voice had softened as though seeing her in that state brought him pain. Maybe it did.. Caedia had no way of knowing, and for the moment didn't have time to consider it. Hands were enclosing on her.. suffocating it felt like until the movement of rising made her stomach even more queasy.
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Re: Fade to Black. (Caedia)
Date: 1/26/2000 2:27 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
She must have faded into unconsciousness once more while they were carrying her.. those.. men, for when she opened her eyes she was in another room and already in a tub of deliciously warm water. Her hand still lay tucked against her skin in a fist as if it would wither away without the warmth and security of her beating heart. A voice to her left caught her attention and suddenly she focused on the fact that there
was several women bustling around with different duties.
Someone was washing her hair.. another was scrubbing her feet, and someone else was carrying off her clothes an armslength away as if those would come alive and eat her right there. Caedia couldn't blame her, after all, they were the same clothes she had delivered the twins in and the blood was caked dry and gruesome looking.
She didn't understand a word the women were uttering, only that they seemed in heavy gossip mode and tossed her several looks. The silver eyed one now wished she could speak different languages on a regular basis. She startled from her newfound reverie when the smell of food drifted up to her, and eyes focused on the woman carrying the bowl.
It was almost embarrassing, being fed the way she was as if a mere babe instead of a grown woman capable of such.. however, the humiliation was disspelled when she tried lifting her weary left arm. She could stand being waited on.
"They fear you." The voice in her head again.. this time she recognized Belzare's voice almost with relief albeit his words caused her to stiffen.
"Why?" It was nice being able to "talk" with food in your mouth.. she wished that this mindspeech was something she could do with everyone.. but once during the duels she had tried to "speak" with her brother in this fashion.. he either never heard, or never acknowledged her.
"You were supposed to have died." The answer was simple and lacked any emotion behind it. Was that a condensending statement? A sad one because she failed at dying? Or a happy one because she didn't? She really wished she could understand these people sometime.
"So why didn't I?"
She could see him now, poised in the darkness and watching between her and the window.. he turned back there now.
"The bracelet that you stole for me.. it gave life. The bracelet that you wear.. gives death," she wasn't following quite well but remained quiet and ate, "when you took a life, you sealed yours to the bracelet."
Now she was really confused and managed to sit up slightly.
"When did I take a life? And how? Why did you move me from my cabin? Where are my children?" She had more questions, but the raised hand from the shadowed corner put a momentary pause.
"Soul something.. I believe that's what your race calls them. Something to that effect anyway. When wearing that bracelet and your life is in danger, it opens up the possibilities for you to take a life to save yours. Someone came into your house while we were gone.. I don't know who, but he paid the price. All that was left of him was his clothes." He silenced himself and began rocking slightly in the chair.
From: CaediaThrn
She must have faded into unconsciousness once more while they were carrying her.. those.. men, for when she opened her eyes she was in another room and already in a tub of deliciously warm water. Her hand still lay tucked against her skin in a fist as if it would wither away without the warmth and security of her beating heart. A voice to her left caught her attention and suddenly she focused on the fact that there
was several women bustling around with different duties.
Someone was washing her hair.. another was scrubbing her feet, and someone else was carrying off her clothes an armslength away as if those would come alive and eat her right there. Caedia couldn't blame her, after all, they were the same clothes she had delivered the twins in and the blood was caked dry and gruesome looking.
She didn't understand a word the women were uttering, only that they seemed in heavy gossip mode and tossed her several looks. The silver eyed one now wished she could speak different languages on a regular basis. She startled from her newfound reverie when the smell of food drifted up to her, and eyes focused on the woman carrying the bowl.
It was almost embarrassing, being fed the way she was as if a mere babe instead of a grown woman capable of such.. however, the humiliation was disspelled when she tried lifting her weary left arm. She could stand being waited on.
"They fear you." The voice in her head again.. this time she recognized Belzare's voice almost with relief albeit his words caused her to stiffen.
"Why?" It was nice being able to "talk" with food in your mouth.. she wished that this mindspeech was something she could do with everyone.. but once during the duels she had tried to "speak" with her brother in this fashion.. he either never heard, or never acknowledged her.
"You were supposed to have died." The answer was simple and lacked any emotion behind it. Was that a condensending statement? A sad one because she failed at dying? Or a happy one because she didn't? She really wished she could understand these people sometime.
"So why didn't I?"
She could see him now, poised in the darkness and watching between her and the window.. he turned back there now.
"The bracelet that you stole for me.. it gave life. The bracelet that you wear.. gives death," she wasn't following quite well but remained quiet and ate, "when you took a life, you sealed yours to the bracelet."
Now she was really confused and managed to sit up slightly.
"When did I take a life? And how? Why did you move me from my cabin? Where are my children?" She had more questions, but the raised hand from the shadowed corner put a momentary pause.
"Soul something.. I believe that's what your race calls them. Something to that effect anyway. When wearing that bracelet and your life is in danger, it opens up the possibilities for you to take a life to save yours. Someone came into your house while we were gone.. I don't know who, but he paid the price. All that was left of him was his clothes." He silenced himself and began rocking slightly in the chair.
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Re: Fade to Black. (Caedia)
Date: 1/27/2000 11:28 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
She was struck dumb, silent as the woman that had been feeding her warily watched for her to move again. She did finally move and settled back into the reclining position so she could begin to eat again. The other women had moved off, either out of fear for her movement, or because they were simply done with their duty.
All that was left... when you took a life, you sealed yours to the bracelet.. She couldn't really comprehend that.. well, she understood slowly.. as if dawn were creeping into the shadowy places she had been hiding in.
The man. The familiar important man.. who? But there were other more persistant thoughts at the moment.. more pressing issues she wanted answered.
"Why did you bind me to that wall?" She had been thinking of his words so hard she forgot to ask in her mind, and the woman who had been feeding her startled suddenly. Caedia stretched out her left hand in a peaceful gesture and spoke as soothingly as possible even though the woman didn't speak her language.
"Sorry.. really." She really couldn't tell if it helped or not, but at least the woman didn't flee.
"It was for your safety.. and for mine," He stood slowly, stretching as a cat would from it's midday sunbeam nap, "the bracelet.. harbors certain.. evils." She couldn't tell if he was searching and picking out words carefully because he was unsure, or if he was trying to be dramatic.. either way it had a shivering effect on her form even in the hot water.
"A person can take anywhere from three hours to three months working off the imbalance the bracelet adds to the mind. You either become fully engaged in the evils, you become unwittingly innocent, or you balance a power between." He turned to look at her then. "It's never the same for anyone.. and I had to see which way you would turn so that I might save you either way."
It was either the fuzziness from the darkness still or the dizzying effect the sudden presence of food that clouded her mind, but she wasn't fully grasping this.
"How long was I... "
"Four and a half days." The way he said that sounded more of a judgment that she would have to serve.. not what she already had and again she shivered.
His somewhat stoic facade faded a bit as he muttered a few words to the woman who had been feeding her. She nodded and turned, returning a few minutes later with a huge towel and some other clothes.
"Sleep. We'll talk more soon."
Caedia could only nod numbly as she stared at the water and sighed.
"Wait.. there's, there's someone important.. someone dear to me I must find.." She struggled for a name.. for a face.. but only came up with an anguished feeling as dizziness filled her once more.
"Soon, soon Caedia."
From: CaediaThrn
She was struck dumb, silent as the woman that had been feeding her warily watched for her to move again. She did finally move and settled back into the reclining position so she could begin to eat again. The other women had moved off, either out of fear for her movement, or because they were simply done with their duty.
All that was left... when you took a life, you sealed yours to the bracelet.. She couldn't really comprehend that.. well, she understood slowly.. as if dawn were creeping into the shadowy places she had been hiding in.
The man. The familiar important man.. who? But there were other more persistant thoughts at the moment.. more pressing issues she wanted answered.
"Why did you bind me to that wall?" She had been thinking of his words so hard she forgot to ask in her mind, and the woman who had been feeding her startled suddenly. Caedia stretched out her left hand in a peaceful gesture and spoke as soothingly as possible even though the woman didn't speak her language.
"Sorry.. really." She really couldn't tell if it helped or not, but at least the woman didn't flee.
"It was for your safety.. and for mine," He stood slowly, stretching as a cat would from it's midday sunbeam nap, "the bracelet.. harbors certain.. evils." She couldn't tell if he was searching and picking out words carefully because he was unsure, or if he was trying to be dramatic.. either way it had a shivering effect on her form even in the hot water.
"A person can take anywhere from three hours to three months working off the imbalance the bracelet adds to the mind. You either become fully engaged in the evils, you become unwittingly innocent, or you balance a power between." He turned to look at her then. "It's never the same for anyone.. and I had to see which way you would turn so that I might save you either way."
It was either the fuzziness from the darkness still or the dizzying effect the sudden presence of food that clouded her mind, but she wasn't fully grasping this.
"How long was I... "
"Four and a half days." The way he said that sounded more of a judgment that she would have to serve.. not what she already had and again she shivered.
His somewhat stoic facade faded a bit as he muttered a few words to the woman who had been feeding her. She nodded and turned, returning a few minutes later with a huge towel and some other clothes.
"Sleep. We'll talk more soon."
Caedia could only nod numbly as she stared at the water and sighed.
"Wait.. there's, there's someone important.. someone dear to me I must find.." She struggled for a name.. for a face.. but only came up with an anguished feeling as dizziness filled her once more.
"Soon, soon Caedia."
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Re: Fade to Black. (Caedia)
Date: 1/31/2000 12:35 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
The morning sun slid through the gauzy curtains and pretty much drowned the peacefully sleeping woman. It was the first time in awhile she had slept so deeply or calmly yet when she awoke she was back to feeling uneasy, after all.. killing a man was one thing.. she had done that to survive all her life, but being so disoriented and lonely afterwards? Hmm. New one.
She had to leave.. she had to find that man she now understood. Her dream that night had been of her dressed up in a nice dress with her hair up and make-up on.. She had been waiting for someone in a museum.. for someone she loved. In that dream she could see her hand writing down some name, but she wasn't waiting for Bane.. she was waiting for Tareth. She couldn't recall when exactly she remembered his name but even in the dream she had cried
upon seeing him hanging upside down.
"Batman." she had called him then, and now she had to find him. She had to find her brother.... right after breakfast.
------
"Remember what I told you now.. take heed and be careful." Caedia nodded once more to her host. She had given him his wife and daughter back, even had a chance to meet them at breakfast, but still didn't really comprehend why this man felt like he owed her still. He had saved her life twice now and took care of her as if she were a close family friend... maybe she was in a sense. She didn't really understand the value of family yet as she had
lost hers at an early age. She did understand how much her brother meant however and dressed in the everyday robes of Belzare's people, she set off for the Outback.
------
A place is never the same as it was when you leave it in the first place.. so why was she taken aback when she walked into the Outback and it was different? Deep inside most people don't really expect that change, they know it's coming and they pretend to brace themselves, but hey.. truth of the matter is, it's not really going to happen to you now is it?
The lights were gone, first thing Ms. Obvious noticed as she tried to see her way through..and it was so cold. Not that she was really that cold in all those robes, but her face felt the chill and that wasn't like that place. Sudden fear gripped her, maybe the Outback wasn't used anymore.. maybe it had been deserted and now no one she knew would ever come back. Maybe that even meant that she would continue to be alone.. everyone had left her.
In the sudden panic she dashed up the stairs to Tareth's door which was uncharacteristically unlocked. Oh Lords.. everyone had gone! The tears and breath locked in her throat froze just in time to escape being choked out when she noticed a lump in her brother's bed. Could it be? Or was she making gold out of a beggar who'd taken advantage of the Outback's barren state? Suddenly she realized how naked she felt without her gun and
comfortable latex.
It was him alright, and suddenly she didn't know how to breathe. Wait, why hadn't he awoke when she first came into the room? That wasn't like him at all.. and further evidence of foul play came when her hand touched his forehead. He was so hot. Fever? Whether the Outback had indeed broken down to become a home for the homeless, at least it still had running water and towels, and quite gently she dabbed at the listless man's forehead and
cheeks with a cold washcloth until she was happy with his temperature.
Once she had finished cooling him off, and had stripped the bed down to only the top sheet, she quietly left to go get some of her own clothes on and try to get comfortable.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
From: CaediaThrn
The morning sun slid through the gauzy curtains and pretty much drowned the peacefully sleeping woman. It was the first time in awhile she had slept so deeply or calmly yet when she awoke she was back to feeling uneasy, after all.. killing a man was one thing.. she had done that to survive all her life, but being so disoriented and lonely afterwards? Hmm. New one.
She had to leave.. she had to find that man she now understood. Her dream that night had been of her dressed up in a nice dress with her hair up and make-up on.. She had been waiting for someone in a museum.. for someone she loved. In that dream she could see her hand writing down some name, but she wasn't waiting for Bane.. she was waiting for Tareth. She couldn't recall when exactly she remembered his name but even in the dream she had cried
upon seeing him hanging upside down.
"Batman." she had called him then, and now she had to find him. She had to find her brother.... right after breakfast.
------
"Remember what I told you now.. take heed and be careful." Caedia nodded once more to her host. She had given him his wife and daughter back, even had a chance to meet them at breakfast, but still didn't really comprehend why this man felt like he owed her still. He had saved her life twice now and took care of her as if she were a close family friend... maybe she was in a sense. She didn't really understand the value of family yet as she had
lost hers at an early age. She did understand how much her brother meant however and dressed in the everyday robes of Belzare's people, she set off for the Outback.
------
A place is never the same as it was when you leave it in the first place.. so why was she taken aback when she walked into the Outback and it was different? Deep inside most people don't really expect that change, they know it's coming and they pretend to brace themselves, but hey.. truth of the matter is, it's not really going to happen to you now is it?
The lights were gone, first thing Ms. Obvious noticed as she tried to see her way through..and it was so cold. Not that she was really that cold in all those robes, but her face felt the chill and that wasn't like that place. Sudden fear gripped her, maybe the Outback wasn't used anymore.. maybe it had been deserted and now no one she knew would ever come back. Maybe that even meant that she would continue to be alone.. everyone had left her.
In the sudden panic she dashed up the stairs to Tareth's door which was uncharacteristically unlocked. Oh Lords.. everyone had gone! The tears and breath locked in her throat froze just in time to escape being choked out when she noticed a lump in her brother's bed. Could it be? Or was she making gold out of a beggar who'd taken advantage of the Outback's barren state? Suddenly she realized how naked she felt without her gun and
comfortable latex.
It was him alright, and suddenly she didn't know how to breathe. Wait, why hadn't he awoke when she first came into the room? That wasn't like him at all.. and further evidence of foul play came when her hand touched his forehead. He was so hot. Fever? Whether the Outback had indeed broken down to become a home for the homeless, at least it still had running water and towels, and quite gently she dabbed at the listless man's forehead and
cheeks with a cold washcloth until she was happy with his temperature.
Once she had finished cooling him off, and had stripped the bed down to only the top sheet, she quietly left to go get some of her own clothes on and try to get comfortable.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
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Fading further. (Caedia)
Date: 3/13/2000 4:33 PM Central Daylight Time
From: CaediaThrn
She was lost. Totally and utterly lost. Somewhere among the trip back to the cabin in the forest she had gotten turned around and now could barely walk from exhaustion and fear. Yes, fear. A new one for her, yet the emotion was spiked deep within her stomach as if rooted permanently.
She hadn't been cold in her brother's room, yet out here in the deep forest the chill permeated the thick robes and settled into her bones. She was about to give up and go to sleep when the pain in her stomach suddenly tossed her to the ground and caused her to cry out.
Silver gaze opened to reveal the angry red ring that was lit like a neon sign. Her lips curled up in a snarl as she rose into a stance. Feral, gutteral growls echoed deep in her throat as she turned suddenly and headed in a different direction. She could smell blood.. and the town was near.. she could hear the heartbeats.
Setting off in a sprint, she barely noticed when her robes were slashed by the thorn brushes, nor the blood that was leaking from the wounds across her cheeks and upper arms. The silver band on her upper right arm glinted in the moonlight as she ran, oblivious to everything now.
Breaking from the wooded area, she slid into the shadows at the side of the inn. The growl spilled from her lips again through the blood red on her face and the glow from her eyes as she spotted what she was looking for.
He was handsome to say the least.. and healthy, she could hear that from the way his blood coursed through his veins, and his soul was so strong. He turned as she leapt, his sword already drawn in defense. He wasn't stupid either, he had heard the soft footsteps, after all, the more you go outside to smoke, the more you get used to the outside sounds and what's normal or not.
His experience gained him a hit.. the sword slid into her side easily and would have hit her heart if he hadn't noticed she was a female. Fortunate for her, unfortunant for him as she folded around the steel and still managed to grasp his neck. She blinked.. and it was over. All that was left was the thick black cloak lined with a deep green on the inside, the rest of his clothes, and the sword embedded in her side.
She was a sight to see, her hand still clutching to the cloak, the sword sticking up from her collapsed form, and the many scratches and blood that was splattered on her form. She however, was oblivious to the world. Her hunger had been answered and sweet sleep had taken over, alley or no alley.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.
From: CaediaThrn
She was lost. Totally and utterly lost. Somewhere among the trip back to the cabin in the forest she had gotten turned around and now could barely walk from exhaustion and fear. Yes, fear. A new one for her, yet the emotion was spiked deep within her stomach as if rooted permanently.
She hadn't been cold in her brother's room, yet out here in the deep forest the chill permeated the thick robes and settled into her bones. She was about to give up and go to sleep when the pain in her stomach suddenly tossed her to the ground and caused her to cry out.
Silver gaze opened to reveal the angry red ring that was lit like a neon sign. Her lips curled up in a snarl as she rose into a stance. Feral, gutteral growls echoed deep in her throat as she turned suddenly and headed in a different direction. She could smell blood.. and the town was near.. she could hear the heartbeats.
Setting off in a sprint, she barely noticed when her robes were slashed by the thorn brushes, nor the blood that was leaking from the wounds across her cheeks and upper arms. The silver band on her upper right arm glinted in the moonlight as she ran, oblivious to everything now.
Breaking from the wooded area, she slid into the shadows at the side of the inn. The growl spilled from her lips again through the blood red on her face and the glow from her eyes as she spotted what she was looking for.
He was handsome to say the least.. and healthy, she could hear that from the way his blood coursed through his veins, and his soul was so strong. He turned as she leapt, his sword already drawn in defense. He wasn't stupid either, he had heard the soft footsteps, after all, the more you go outside to smoke, the more you get used to the outside sounds and what's normal or not.
His experience gained him a hit.. the sword slid into her side easily and would have hit her heart if he hadn't noticed she was a female. Fortunate for her, unfortunant for him as she folded around the steel and still managed to grasp his neck. She blinked.. and it was over. All that was left was the thick black cloak lined with a deep green on the inside, the rest of his clothes, and the sword embedded in her side.
She was a sight to see, her hand still clutching to the cloak, the sword sticking up from her collapsed form, and the many scratches and blood that was splattered on her form. She however, was oblivious to the world. Her hunger had been answered and sweet sleep had taken over, alley or no alley.
~Caedia~
Never take away everything a person has..
cause when a person has nothing to lose,
that's when they're most dangerous.