Date: 11/22/1998 12:56 PM Central Daylight Time
From: RDI Rask
It was a night like any other night in the Outback. There were a couple RDI's on duty; Rask and Jaded in this case. A fair number of patrons were milling about, some dueling, others just enjoying the company. There was plenty of laughter and more than a little grumbling as jokes were told and punches were thrown. There were men and women, dwarves and elves, giants and termites...termites?
Actually, there were *giant* termites! Well, they didn't start as giants, but they grew awful fast. First one and then another crawled out of the hole in the bar. These termites obviously had good taste as they immediately headed for...well, for me, yours truly, Rask.
For a brief while I stood alone against the large insects; Janella was calling duels. (You gotta love how the girl sticks to her duty). Then, long time Fists dueler and Emerald, Harris, came to my aid. We squished a few bugs here and there, but they were growing as fast as they were coming out of the hole...in the bar. What could I do?
It seemed obvious to me. Burn it. Burn the bar. If not that, the whole Outback might be infested by giant termites who had an appetite for more than just wood. Before I knew what was happening, Harris was pouring oil on the bar, as I fended off the termites with torches. Not only did I have to save the Outback, I had to make sure they stayed off of Janella so she could keep calling (gotta love that girl).
As the termites backed around the bar, a torch was thrown, the bar was lit and the termites were gone. Well, the bar smoldered for the rest of the night and most of the stock was lost, except for what we had in the back room. But the termites were gone.
So for now, there is no bar in the Outback. You may ask yourself why I write this. Surely, it's easy enough to see that there's no bar when you enter the Outback. The tale could be told when asked "what happened?" Right?
Well, the budget for the Outback is a bit limited. It's apparent that we need a bar. It's only a matter of time before an orc, dwarf or elf (probably orc) gets rowdy for lack of spirits and things go from bad to worse.
So the reason I write this is to inform everyone of the full extent of the problem and put out the notice that I am now receiving bids from companies, groups, or individuals with the ability to rebuild the bar in a way that will surpass it's former glory. If you have this skill, drop a note on my desk with a basic outline of what you'd like to do and what you would like in compensation. All offers will be carefully considered and a decision will be
made at the earliest possible moment.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
RDI RaskDoF Supervisor
The Outback Bar
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Re: The Outback Bar
Date: 11/22/1998 7:39 PM Central Daylight Time
From: EldrionKoG
::Summons his best Bluto voice:: They burned the bar!!! The whole bar!!!
From: EldrionKoG
::Summons his best Bluto voice:: They burned the bar!!! The whole bar!!!
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Re: The Outback Bar
Date: 11/25/1998 7:44 PM Central Daylight Time
From: SHIV BLADE
::thinks this might be the perfect time to set up a lemonade stand::
From: SHIV BLADE
::thinks this might be the perfect time to set up a lemonade stand::
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A Proposal to Rebuild
Date: 11/27/1998 11:32 PM Central Daylight Time
From: TreeFellr
It had been just over a year since his assignment to this infernal land. A year of torture, if you asked him. Triple-yield this and harvest that; Mr. Dawson, head of the Graf Corporation, was never ever satisfied. But he paid well and thus far, Layne had met each requirement and deadline. People could say what they wanted of Layne Jenkins, but few denied he was a man that got the job done.
Recently, Layne had developed a little business on the side; skimming some wood here and some wood there, he took more than enough to use for his private endeavors but little enough so that the money-grubbers that ran the front offices would never notice anything amiss. This little incident he'd heard of in the Outback, home of those insufferable people, if one could even allow them that title, was too good to pass up. He'd had more than a few
drinks at the now destroyed bar himself and he'd even admired the handiwork. But, with all his experience, he knew he could do better. And that's just what he intended to do; after all, he'd be one of the last people to shirk his duty when constructing someplace to consume liquor. To that end, he sent a letter to the one named Rask, the guy who people said was in charge. Might as well start at the top, he mused. If he got this contract, Layne
was determined to build the best dammed bar in that town (and from what he'd seen, it wouldn't be that difficult to do). Drinking was not something to take trivially, and the quality of the bar often reflected the quality of the booze; Layne always looked for, if not the highest quality, at least something to get him through the night. After all, when surrounded by mutants, midgets, and deluded magicians claiming impossible powers, what else was
there to do?
Mr. Rask,
Recently, I learned of the misfortune that resulted in the destruction of your bar. After visiting the site of the incident and inspecting the damage, I realized the rumors were quite true. As such, I offer my services in restoring the area and building another bar. I assure you that only the finest wood will be chosen for this endeavor; my supplier accepts nothing less for his stock. My price will vary depending on the detail and size of
what you want done; we should speak in order to agree on a price and design specifications. Please let me know of your interest, or lack thereof, in my offer at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Layne Jenkins
(Author's Note: The letter is not posted on the board itself, but merely placed here for SL purposes)
From: TreeFellr
It had been just over a year since his assignment to this infernal land. A year of torture, if you asked him. Triple-yield this and harvest that; Mr. Dawson, head of the Graf Corporation, was never ever satisfied. But he paid well and thus far, Layne had met each requirement and deadline. People could say what they wanted of Layne Jenkins, but few denied he was a man that got the job done.
Recently, Layne had developed a little business on the side; skimming some wood here and some wood there, he took more than enough to use for his private endeavors but little enough so that the money-grubbers that ran the front offices would never notice anything amiss. This little incident he'd heard of in the Outback, home of those insufferable people, if one could even allow them that title, was too good to pass up. He'd had more than a few
drinks at the now destroyed bar himself and he'd even admired the handiwork. But, with all his experience, he knew he could do better. And that's just what he intended to do; after all, he'd be one of the last people to shirk his duty when constructing someplace to consume liquor. To that end, he sent a letter to the one named Rask, the guy who people said was in charge. Might as well start at the top, he mused. If he got this contract, Layne
was determined to build the best dammed bar in that town (and from what he'd seen, it wouldn't be that difficult to do). Drinking was not something to take trivially, and the quality of the bar often reflected the quality of the booze; Layne always looked for, if not the highest quality, at least something to get him through the night. After all, when surrounded by mutants, midgets, and deluded magicians claiming impossible powers, what else was
there to do?
Mr. Rask,
Recently, I learned of the misfortune that resulted in the destruction of your bar. After visiting the site of the incident and inspecting the damage, I realized the rumors were quite true. As such, I offer my services in restoring the area and building another bar. I assure you that only the finest wood will be chosen for this endeavor; my supplier accepts nothing less for his stock. My price will vary depending on the detail and size of
what you want done; we should speak in order to agree on a price and design specifications. Please let me know of your interest, or lack thereof, in my offer at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Layne Jenkins
(Author's Note: The letter is not posted on the board itself, but merely placed here for SL purposes)
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Re: The Outback Bar
Date: 12/1/1998 2:51 AM Central Daylight Time
From: PhathomMe2
::The ghost of Tremor enters the empty room, looking to reclaim his 50 year collection of shot glasses and goblets. ~Horrified expression~ You dastardly fools! ::Shaking a ghostly fist at the ceiling:: What have you done?!?! 50 years of antique hunting all nuked in a termite infestation? ::Reaches over and smacks a surviving termite with his hand:: ::Feeling the sudden, yet impossible urge to puke, he fades from the room::
From: PhathomMe2
::The ghost of Tremor enters the empty room, looking to reclaim his 50 year collection of shot glasses and goblets. ~Horrified expression~ You dastardly fools! ::Shaking a ghostly fist at the ceiling:: What have you done?!?! 50 years of antique hunting all nuked in a termite infestation? ::Reaches over and smacks a surviving termite with his hand:: ::Feeling the sudden, yet impossible urge to puke, he fades from the room::
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Re: The Outback Bar
Date: 12/6/1998 1:38 PM Central Daylight Time
From: JakeThrash
Opportunities
Mojo came bounding into the front office of the brewery as was his wont. As he bounced up onto the bar and towards the muttering orc, the goblin giggled to himself imagining he could see smoke coming out of the orc's ears from such intent thought. Never one to miss an opportunity to amuse himself, the goblin wiggled his fingers and his toes and thin streams of smoke began to waft into the air around the orc's head.
The orc, intent upon some parchment, his lips moving as if reading it to himself, was oblivious to the smoke and to the goblin. At least he was until the smoke began to coalesce into a small cloud over the orc's head and began to rumble with muted sounds of thunder. The orc looked up just in time for the mini-cloud to begin pouring down a light drizzle of rain.
The goblin burst out in loud giggling, collapsing upon the bar with his tiny hands wrapped around his tummy. The goblin laughed and giggled unable to contain his merriment, rolling about the bartop with unrestrained glee. The orc glowered at the little yellow goblin. With a snarl the orc reached for the little goblin, his tusks bared in a fierce mask of anger, but the goblin, perhaps by chance, chose that time to accidentally roll off the bar and
fall to the floor, escaping the grasping fingers of the orc. The mini-cloud followed the orc's movements, keeping a steady drizzle of rain falling upon the orc's hard head.
"Goblin, I'm going to kill you!" Jake growled, and looked about for the nearest bladed weapon. Mojo for his part only laughed that much harder, and the tiny cloud redoubled its efforts to drench the orc.
As the orc rounded the end of the bar, the goblin hopped up off the ground and ran...right into the nearest wall. The goblin bounced off the wall, and then without a pause, ran right at it again, but this time his goblin feet hit first and with a tiny cloud of cartoon smoke the goblin dashed straight up the wall. Jake, intent upon reaching the goblin, slammed into the wall as well. The orc however lacked the inherent bounciness of the goblin and
hit much harder. The plaques and shelves attached to the red brick wall shuddered for a moment, and then the orc slipped down off of the wall.
Jake shook his head, the rage of anger momentarily abated by the shock of pain. He glared up at the goblin who was busy standing upside down on the ceiling, well out of the orc's reach. The goblin peered down at the orc his face split into a wide grin. The tiny goblin's hands were busy holding his cap so that it wouldn't fall to the floor below. The tiny raincloud wandered out of the brewery to investigate the town of Rhydin. Muted mini-thunder
could be heard as it retreated into the distance.
The orc stared at the goblin with menace radiating from his features. "One of these days, goblin, I am going to catch you." The implied threat was clear in the gravelly tones of the orc.
Mojo beamed innocently, or at least as innocently as a goblin was capable of appearing with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. "Me? You'd want to hurt little old me?"
The orc glowered at the goblin and stamped back to the bar, recognizing that the goblin wasn't coming down any time soon. Mimicking the orc, except upside down, the goblin follwed. His goblin face was torn between his efforts to glower like the orc and the need to giggle, as the goblin stamped across the ceiling back to the bar. Standing upside down, the goblin peered downward. "What'cha reading?" He inquired.
The orc muttered and didn't reply, instead he focused upon the missive, once more his lips began their silent reading. Jake did his best to simply ignore the goblin as he puzzled out the neat, but spidery, script which was difficult for the orc to read.
Mojo's curiosity got the best of him and he clambered off the ceiling and onto the wagon-wheel chandelier mounted by chains to the ceiling. Leaning over the side of the chandelier and between two of the candles, the goblin tried to see what it was the orc was reading. The chandelier began to swing from the goblin's shifting weight. Mojo sat and flipped over, letting himself hang from the chandelier upside down, his feet hooked over the outer edge
of the chandelier. "What'cha reading Jake? Want me to help? I can read it for you. Do you need help with the big words? The little words?" The goblin giggled to himself.
Jake muttered, "No, leave me alone."
Mojo giggled. "Aw, c'mon Jake, what's it say? Tell me, tell me, tell me!" the goblin demanded imperiously in his squeaky voice.
Jake's ears began to hurt from the incessant squeaking and he relented. "It's about the bar in the Outback. It says it's been destroyed and Rask is lookin' for bids to rebuild the bar."
The goblin, busy swinging on the chandelier, his interest piqued, let his feet slip off as he reached the top of the chandelier's swing. Mojo did a double somersault as he flew through the air and then came down upon the bar, his feet only mildly bouncing as they made contact. The goblin marched over to peer at the parchment in the orc's hands, sticking his head right into the orc's view. Jake muttered and tried to pull the parchment away, but the
goblin simply hopped onto the orc's arm and continued reading while the orc struggled to shake him off.
Jake growled. "Get off, goblin! I'm tryin' to read!" The goblin only giggled in reply, his arms tightly wrapped around the orc's wrist.
The orc gave up and let the goblin read.
"Oooooo, termites... I've never met a termite. Do you suppose they might still be around? Maybe I could get them to be my pets. What do you think Jake? Could we have termites stay here in the brewery?"
The orc muttered under his breath, "they couldn't be worse than goblins."
"What was that Jake? I didn't hear you." The goblin giggled and continued reading, pulling the parchment out of the orc's hands and settling down on the bar to read.
The orc couldn't believe his luck. The goblin was actually sitting still. Quietly, so as not to alert the goblin, Jake reached for a short blade he kept at the ready beneath the bar. Pulling it free from its sheath, the orc began to visualize all the reasons he had for chopping the little goblin up into tiny little pieces and inched the blade up over the edge of the bar. His revenge seemed imminent. Still the goblin read, oblivious to the orc.
The blade was raised over the orc's head. Its point was aimed at the goblin's oversized head. Jake held his breath, revenge was finally going to be his. Like a bolt of lightning, the orc's powerful muscles brought the deadly blade racing down at the goblin.
Mojo hopped off the bar at just that moment, and down to the floor, his bright eyes turning to focus upon the orc with excitement. The blade hammered deep into the bartop. A full five inches of blade drove into the wood. Jake stumbled and fell over the bar himself as his blade missed its target. The goblin, oblivious to his brush with death, beamed at the orc. "Jake! Maybe we can contract to rebuild the bar!"
The orc just sighed.
From: JakeThrash
Opportunities
Mojo came bounding into the front office of the brewery as was his wont. As he bounced up onto the bar and towards the muttering orc, the goblin giggled to himself imagining he could see smoke coming out of the orc's ears from such intent thought. Never one to miss an opportunity to amuse himself, the goblin wiggled his fingers and his toes and thin streams of smoke began to waft into the air around the orc's head.
The orc, intent upon some parchment, his lips moving as if reading it to himself, was oblivious to the smoke and to the goblin. At least he was until the smoke began to coalesce into a small cloud over the orc's head and began to rumble with muted sounds of thunder. The orc looked up just in time for the mini-cloud to begin pouring down a light drizzle of rain.
The goblin burst out in loud giggling, collapsing upon the bar with his tiny hands wrapped around his tummy. The goblin laughed and giggled unable to contain his merriment, rolling about the bartop with unrestrained glee. The orc glowered at the little yellow goblin. With a snarl the orc reached for the little goblin, his tusks bared in a fierce mask of anger, but the goblin, perhaps by chance, chose that time to accidentally roll off the bar and
fall to the floor, escaping the grasping fingers of the orc. The mini-cloud followed the orc's movements, keeping a steady drizzle of rain falling upon the orc's hard head.
"Goblin, I'm going to kill you!" Jake growled, and looked about for the nearest bladed weapon. Mojo for his part only laughed that much harder, and the tiny cloud redoubled its efforts to drench the orc.
As the orc rounded the end of the bar, the goblin hopped up off the ground and ran...right into the nearest wall. The goblin bounced off the wall, and then without a pause, ran right at it again, but this time his goblin feet hit first and with a tiny cloud of cartoon smoke the goblin dashed straight up the wall. Jake, intent upon reaching the goblin, slammed into the wall as well. The orc however lacked the inherent bounciness of the goblin and
hit much harder. The plaques and shelves attached to the red brick wall shuddered for a moment, and then the orc slipped down off of the wall.
Jake shook his head, the rage of anger momentarily abated by the shock of pain. He glared up at the goblin who was busy standing upside down on the ceiling, well out of the orc's reach. The goblin peered down at the orc his face split into a wide grin. The tiny goblin's hands were busy holding his cap so that it wouldn't fall to the floor below. The tiny raincloud wandered out of the brewery to investigate the town of Rhydin. Muted mini-thunder
could be heard as it retreated into the distance.
The orc stared at the goblin with menace radiating from his features. "One of these days, goblin, I am going to catch you." The implied threat was clear in the gravelly tones of the orc.
Mojo beamed innocently, or at least as innocently as a goblin was capable of appearing with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. "Me? You'd want to hurt little old me?"
The orc glowered at the goblin and stamped back to the bar, recognizing that the goblin wasn't coming down any time soon. Mimicking the orc, except upside down, the goblin follwed. His goblin face was torn between his efforts to glower like the orc and the need to giggle, as the goblin stamped across the ceiling back to the bar. Standing upside down, the goblin peered downward. "What'cha reading?" He inquired.
The orc muttered and didn't reply, instead he focused upon the missive, once more his lips began their silent reading. Jake did his best to simply ignore the goblin as he puzzled out the neat, but spidery, script which was difficult for the orc to read.
Mojo's curiosity got the best of him and he clambered off the ceiling and onto the wagon-wheel chandelier mounted by chains to the ceiling. Leaning over the side of the chandelier and between two of the candles, the goblin tried to see what it was the orc was reading. The chandelier began to swing from the goblin's shifting weight. Mojo sat and flipped over, letting himself hang from the chandelier upside down, his feet hooked over the outer edge
of the chandelier. "What'cha reading Jake? Want me to help? I can read it for you. Do you need help with the big words? The little words?" The goblin giggled to himself.
Jake muttered, "No, leave me alone."
Mojo giggled. "Aw, c'mon Jake, what's it say? Tell me, tell me, tell me!" the goblin demanded imperiously in his squeaky voice.
Jake's ears began to hurt from the incessant squeaking and he relented. "It's about the bar in the Outback. It says it's been destroyed and Rask is lookin' for bids to rebuild the bar."
The goblin, busy swinging on the chandelier, his interest piqued, let his feet slip off as he reached the top of the chandelier's swing. Mojo did a double somersault as he flew through the air and then came down upon the bar, his feet only mildly bouncing as they made contact. The goblin marched over to peer at the parchment in the orc's hands, sticking his head right into the orc's view. Jake muttered and tried to pull the parchment away, but the
goblin simply hopped onto the orc's arm and continued reading while the orc struggled to shake him off.
Jake growled. "Get off, goblin! I'm tryin' to read!" The goblin only giggled in reply, his arms tightly wrapped around the orc's wrist.
The orc gave up and let the goblin read.
"Oooooo, termites... I've never met a termite. Do you suppose they might still be around? Maybe I could get them to be my pets. What do you think Jake? Could we have termites stay here in the brewery?"
The orc muttered under his breath, "they couldn't be worse than goblins."
"What was that Jake? I didn't hear you." The goblin giggled and continued reading, pulling the parchment out of the orc's hands and settling down on the bar to read.
The orc couldn't believe his luck. The goblin was actually sitting still. Quietly, so as not to alert the goblin, Jake reached for a short blade he kept at the ready beneath the bar. Pulling it free from its sheath, the orc began to visualize all the reasons he had for chopping the little goblin up into tiny little pieces and inched the blade up over the edge of the bar. His revenge seemed imminent. Still the goblin read, oblivious to the orc.
The blade was raised over the orc's head. Its point was aimed at the goblin's oversized head. Jake held his breath, revenge was finally going to be his. Like a bolt of lightning, the orc's powerful muscles brought the deadly blade racing down at the goblin.
Mojo hopped off the bar at just that moment, and down to the floor, his bright eyes turning to focus upon the orc with excitement. The blade hammered deep into the bartop. A full five inches of blade drove into the wood. Jake stumbled and fell over the bar himself as his blade missed its target. The goblin, oblivious to his brush with death, beamed at the orc. "Jake! Maybe we can contract to rebuild the bar!"
The orc just sighed.
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Re: The Outback Bar
Date: 12/12/1998 6:33 PM Central Daylight Time
From: JakeThrash
Opportunities II
Jake muttered and crumpled up yet another scrap of parchment, angrily tossing it into an ever-growing pile of similar such discarded parchments. Drawing up plans for the new bar wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be. It seemed that orcish styles of construction did not work well when used to design bars. There weren't places for him to put the skulls of fallen opponents, nor places for thick stone barricades and wooden stakes with which to
repel attackers.
The orc sighed glumly and stretched out yet another scrap of parchment. He placed mugs on the corners to hold it flat while he worked and then grabbed up the biggest red crayon he had left. Slowly the orc began drawing out the bar as he felt it should look. It took great effort not to add lethal spikes as he drew. The bar had to be easy to reach Jake reminded himself as he gritted his teeth and concentrated on his drawing.
Slowly the bar began to take shape. Behind it would be shelves perhaps. Shelves that could hold different kinds of drinks. The orc debated adding a steel lined cabinet for that stuff Goon was always carrying around. If it were going to be stocked by the bar, at the very least, appropriate protections should be in place to prevent the stuff from destroying the bar again.
The orc paused as he looked over the drawing so far. So far he thought it looked good. He still needed to figure out what sort of wood to use. A good solid hardwood, of course. Something dark the orc thought, that would help conceal spills and other stains that it would acquire over time. Ironwood appealed to him, but Jake figured that would be too hard to work into an entire bar. That was supposing that he could find a supplier with the deep
snows piling up in Rhydin. Now wasn't the best of times to be bargaining for wood.
The orc peered over the drawing, his eyes covering it slowly, running up and the down the drawing and then back up...to meet the eyes of a yellow goblin. Jake started and jumped back from the bartop. "Hiya Jake!" piped the tiny goblin who clambered up onto the bar and beamed at him. "I see ya' got started on plans for the new bar."
"Dammit goblin! Don't sneak up on me like that!" the orc snarled as he moved back to the bar and began to pull the drawing free from the mugs holding it down. Mojo got in the way, as usual, and walked around on top of the drawing looking it over with his best critical look. The goblin chewed on his lip and scrunched up his face, doing his best imitation of the orc trying to think. Jake was sure the goblin was making fun of him, but didn't realize
how accurate the goblin's impression was.
Mojo for his part grabbed up a crayon and began to embellish the drawing. The orc's heart nearly stopped and he could feel his blood beginning to boil. "Mojo! What are you doin'!"
Mojo looked up at the orc in bewilderment. "Is this a trick question, Jake?" The goblin turned and faced the orc. "I like trick questions. So what's the trick?" Mojo asked innocently.
Jake growled, "what do ya' think ya' are doin' to my drawin', goblin?"
Mojo giggled. "Helping! Of course!" The goblin turned back to the drawing and began yet further scribbling. "You gotta change this around, Jake. Ya' got the path to the kitchen blocked. You can't do that. Unless you want to build a new door into the kitchen, but that would mean moving some of the cupboards. And you made the bar too high. If you want the bar to be this high you have to install ladders so that little folk like me can reach the
bar!"
Jake just stared at the little goblin.
The tiny yellow goblin turned back to the parchment and continued upon his mission to correct the orc's drawing. Out went the plans for metal banding to reinforce the bar, instead the goblin added in carved fixtures, almost like dueling figures, all around the wood. Jake stood helplessly speechless as the drawing was transformed. The part that Jake found most galling was that the orc had to admit that the goblin's ideas were better than his. Out
went the plans for a huge boar's head, and in went brass fittings for a line of taps.
Naturally, not all of the ideas the goblin had were acceptable. Jake was sure the smiley faces set into a tiled floor would have to go...especially smiley goblin faces. Jake shuddered. Knowing Mojo, those tiled faces would probably do more than just smile. They'd probably talk, leer, make faces at the people above and commit all manner of other irritating behavior. Still the idea of a tiled floor wasn't bad, the orc had to admit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Jake looked over the finished drawings, he nodded to himself. They hadn't come out half bad. Some of the options were a little on the expensive side, like the brass fittings, but if they were going to be deal breakers, he could cut those out to trim some of the costs.
"Jake."
The orc poured over the drawings a final time, making sure he knew what materials would have to be ordered. It was an extensive list. He'd need to hire on some people to help with the construction. Jake could handle stonework alright, and defensive palisades, but fine wood-work like this was a little beyond his skill.
"Hey Jake!"
The orc frowned as he thought about the costs involved. He hoped that his bid wouldn't get turned down as too expensive. He wasn't sure what ceiling the management of the Inn might have placed on Rask's expenditures.
The orc howled as he felt sharp goblin teeth bite into his leg.
Hopping up and down on one leg, the orc growled and swore in loud gutteral orcish tones. The voices of several goblins giggling echoed from the floor. Several? The orc glared down, expecting to find Mojo, but surprised to discover a total of three goblins standing in front of him. Feeling foolish the orc set his leg down and glowered at the goblins. "What do ya' want Mojo? And why did you bite me?"
Mojo giggled. "I didn't bite you Jake, Guido did. Guido isn't patient like me." The yellow goblin put on his best innocent face. It looked out of place with his mouthful of sharp pointy teeth.
A slightly larger goblin, this one with his arms crossed, and who actually looked like some sort of tiny goblin thug looked up at the orc in an almost challenging way. "Yeah, I bit ya'. Youse got a problem wit' dat?"
Jake's jaw nearly dropped. Mojo giggled. "Jake, meet my cousin Guido. Guido, this is Jake, the orc I told you about who runs the brewery. He's the one that needs your help."
Guido uncrossed his arms and took a step forward and looked over the orc, starting from his toes and working his way up to the top of the orc's head. Jake just stared. "Why do I need another goblin's help?" Jake couldn't get over the bizarre feeling that the tiny goblin looking at him thought he could beat the orc up.
The third goblin coughed. Mojo giggled and blushed. "Ooops! I forgot. Jake this is Pug the Malformed."
The third goblin cut in, "the Magnifcient, not Malformed. Pug the Magnificent."
"Right, Pug the Mangy. Pug this is Jake, the orc."
"It's perfectly obvious he's an orc, Mojo, even Guido can tell that." Guido recrossed his arms and continued to glare menacingly at the orc. Jake did his best to resist the urge to stomp him flat.
Mojo giggled some more. "Jake, Pug and Guido are here to help us draw up the contract bid."
Jake blinked. "Help draw up the contract bid?"
Mojo beamed, "You bet! Pug here is an expert in goblin contract law. He and Guido are my partners."
"Goblin shysters?" the orc thought to himself with a shudder. This didn't bode well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What do ya' mean we are going to bid to build the bar for free!" the orc exploded. "Do ya' know how much some of this stuff is gonna' cost? Are ya' out of yer mind goblin?
Mojo giggled, Guido snorted, and Pug rolled his eyes as if tolerating a small child. "Youse got a screw loose orc? Da' costs are deductible, and da' supplier rights we are gonna ask for make up for da' costs in no time. Youse just gotta see da' big picture."
Jake still wanted to kill the uppity little goblin.
Pug sighed and tried to explain it once more. "Jake, by offering the bid at no cost to the Outback, it makes the offer more competitive with other bids. We can undercut their bids, deduct the costs from your taxes, and lock in a lucrative agreement to be the primary supplier of ales for the Outback, that in the long run will be more profitable for the brewery in the out-years."
Jake looked blankly at Pug. The spectacles the goblin wore kept slipping down his nose as he spoke. Each time, just as they were about to fall off, the goblin would catch them and push them back on. The orc couldn't decide which of them needed to be stomped first, the long-worded Pug or the arrogant Guido. Jake's head hurt.
Mojo was swinging from the chandelier again, his slippered feet hooked over the rim of the wagon-wheel chandelier precariously. "So now do you understand, Jake?"
The orc sighed. He didn't really understand. He just knew that somehow, the cost for building the new bar was going to be paid for by the brewery. Still, the orc didn't want to suffer the explanations of the goblins any more, so he just nodded, "yeah, yeah, I got it. So what's next?"
Mojo chimed in to reply before Guido or Pug could. "We submit the bid and wait for them to review it!"
((Author's Note: Pug is pronounced "Guppi." Don't ask why, it's a goblin thing.))
From: JakeThrash
Opportunities II
Jake muttered and crumpled up yet another scrap of parchment, angrily tossing it into an ever-growing pile of similar such discarded parchments. Drawing up plans for the new bar wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be. It seemed that orcish styles of construction did not work well when used to design bars. There weren't places for him to put the skulls of fallen opponents, nor places for thick stone barricades and wooden stakes with which to
repel attackers.
The orc sighed glumly and stretched out yet another scrap of parchment. He placed mugs on the corners to hold it flat while he worked and then grabbed up the biggest red crayon he had left. Slowly the orc began drawing out the bar as he felt it should look. It took great effort not to add lethal spikes as he drew. The bar had to be easy to reach Jake reminded himself as he gritted his teeth and concentrated on his drawing.
Slowly the bar began to take shape. Behind it would be shelves perhaps. Shelves that could hold different kinds of drinks. The orc debated adding a steel lined cabinet for that stuff Goon was always carrying around. If it were going to be stocked by the bar, at the very least, appropriate protections should be in place to prevent the stuff from destroying the bar again.
The orc paused as he looked over the drawing so far. So far he thought it looked good. He still needed to figure out what sort of wood to use. A good solid hardwood, of course. Something dark the orc thought, that would help conceal spills and other stains that it would acquire over time. Ironwood appealed to him, but Jake figured that would be too hard to work into an entire bar. That was supposing that he could find a supplier with the deep
snows piling up in Rhydin. Now wasn't the best of times to be bargaining for wood.
The orc peered over the drawing, his eyes covering it slowly, running up and the down the drawing and then back up...to meet the eyes of a yellow goblin. Jake started and jumped back from the bartop. "Hiya Jake!" piped the tiny goblin who clambered up onto the bar and beamed at him. "I see ya' got started on plans for the new bar."
"Dammit goblin! Don't sneak up on me like that!" the orc snarled as he moved back to the bar and began to pull the drawing free from the mugs holding it down. Mojo got in the way, as usual, and walked around on top of the drawing looking it over with his best critical look. The goblin chewed on his lip and scrunched up his face, doing his best imitation of the orc trying to think. Jake was sure the goblin was making fun of him, but didn't realize
how accurate the goblin's impression was.
Mojo for his part grabbed up a crayon and began to embellish the drawing. The orc's heart nearly stopped and he could feel his blood beginning to boil. "Mojo! What are you doin'!"
Mojo looked up at the orc in bewilderment. "Is this a trick question, Jake?" The goblin turned and faced the orc. "I like trick questions. So what's the trick?" Mojo asked innocently.
Jake growled, "what do ya' think ya' are doin' to my drawin', goblin?"
Mojo giggled. "Helping! Of course!" The goblin turned back to the drawing and began yet further scribbling. "You gotta change this around, Jake. Ya' got the path to the kitchen blocked. You can't do that. Unless you want to build a new door into the kitchen, but that would mean moving some of the cupboards. And you made the bar too high. If you want the bar to be this high you have to install ladders so that little folk like me can reach the
bar!"
Jake just stared at the little goblin.
The tiny yellow goblin turned back to the parchment and continued upon his mission to correct the orc's drawing. Out went the plans for metal banding to reinforce the bar, instead the goblin added in carved fixtures, almost like dueling figures, all around the wood. Jake stood helplessly speechless as the drawing was transformed. The part that Jake found most galling was that the orc had to admit that the goblin's ideas were better than his. Out
went the plans for a huge boar's head, and in went brass fittings for a line of taps.
Naturally, not all of the ideas the goblin had were acceptable. Jake was sure the smiley faces set into a tiled floor would have to go...especially smiley goblin faces. Jake shuddered. Knowing Mojo, those tiled faces would probably do more than just smile. They'd probably talk, leer, make faces at the people above and commit all manner of other irritating behavior. Still the idea of a tiled floor wasn't bad, the orc had to admit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Jake looked over the finished drawings, he nodded to himself. They hadn't come out half bad. Some of the options were a little on the expensive side, like the brass fittings, but if they were going to be deal breakers, he could cut those out to trim some of the costs.
"Jake."
The orc poured over the drawings a final time, making sure he knew what materials would have to be ordered. It was an extensive list. He'd need to hire on some people to help with the construction. Jake could handle stonework alright, and defensive palisades, but fine wood-work like this was a little beyond his skill.
"Hey Jake!"
The orc frowned as he thought about the costs involved. He hoped that his bid wouldn't get turned down as too expensive. He wasn't sure what ceiling the management of the Inn might have placed on Rask's expenditures.
The orc howled as he felt sharp goblin teeth bite into his leg.
Hopping up and down on one leg, the orc growled and swore in loud gutteral orcish tones. The voices of several goblins giggling echoed from the floor. Several? The orc glared down, expecting to find Mojo, but surprised to discover a total of three goblins standing in front of him. Feeling foolish the orc set his leg down and glowered at the goblins. "What do ya' want Mojo? And why did you bite me?"
Mojo giggled. "I didn't bite you Jake, Guido did. Guido isn't patient like me." The yellow goblin put on his best innocent face. It looked out of place with his mouthful of sharp pointy teeth.
A slightly larger goblin, this one with his arms crossed, and who actually looked like some sort of tiny goblin thug looked up at the orc in an almost challenging way. "Yeah, I bit ya'. Youse got a problem wit' dat?"
Jake's jaw nearly dropped. Mojo giggled. "Jake, meet my cousin Guido. Guido, this is Jake, the orc I told you about who runs the brewery. He's the one that needs your help."
Guido uncrossed his arms and took a step forward and looked over the orc, starting from his toes and working his way up to the top of the orc's head. Jake just stared. "Why do I need another goblin's help?" Jake couldn't get over the bizarre feeling that the tiny goblin looking at him thought he could beat the orc up.
The third goblin coughed. Mojo giggled and blushed. "Ooops! I forgot. Jake this is Pug the Malformed."
The third goblin cut in, "the Magnifcient, not Malformed. Pug the Magnificent."
"Right, Pug the Mangy. Pug this is Jake, the orc."
"It's perfectly obvious he's an orc, Mojo, even Guido can tell that." Guido recrossed his arms and continued to glare menacingly at the orc. Jake did his best to resist the urge to stomp him flat.
Mojo giggled some more. "Jake, Pug and Guido are here to help us draw up the contract bid."
Jake blinked. "Help draw up the contract bid?"
Mojo beamed, "You bet! Pug here is an expert in goblin contract law. He and Guido are my partners."
"Goblin shysters?" the orc thought to himself with a shudder. This didn't bode well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What do ya' mean we are going to bid to build the bar for free!" the orc exploded. "Do ya' know how much some of this stuff is gonna' cost? Are ya' out of yer mind goblin?
Mojo giggled, Guido snorted, and Pug rolled his eyes as if tolerating a small child. "Youse got a screw loose orc? Da' costs are deductible, and da' supplier rights we are gonna ask for make up for da' costs in no time. Youse just gotta see da' big picture."
Jake still wanted to kill the uppity little goblin.
Pug sighed and tried to explain it once more. "Jake, by offering the bid at no cost to the Outback, it makes the offer more competitive with other bids. We can undercut their bids, deduct the costs from your taxes, and lock in a lucrative agreement to be the primary supplier of ales for the Outback, that in the long run will be more profitable for the brewery in the out-years."
Jake looked blankly at Pug. The spectacles the goblin wore kept slipping down his nose as he spoke. Each time, just as they were about to fall off, the goblin would catch them and push them back on. The orc couldn't decide which of them needed to be stomped first, the long-worded Pug or the arrogant Guido. Jake's head hurt.
Mojo was swinging from the chandelier again, his slippered feet hooked over the rim of the wagon-wheel chandelier precariously. "So now do you understand, Jake?"
The orc sighed. He didn't really understand. He just knew that somehow, the cost for building the new bar was going to be paid for by the brewery. Still, the orc didn't want to suffer the explanations of the goblins any more, so he just nodded, "yeah, yeah, I got it. So what's next?"
Mojo chimed in to reply before Guido or Pug could. "We submit the bid and wait for them to review it!"
((Author's Note: Pug is pronounced "Guppi." Don't ask why, it's a goblin thing.))
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Re: The Outback Bar
Date: 12/24/1998 3:26 AM Central Daylight Time
From: JakeThrash
From the offices of
Mojo, Pug (pronounced "Guppy"), and Guido
Goblin Attorneys at Law
Red Orc Brewery proposal
Red Orc Brewery shall build a bar and accompanying facilities to replace the damaged bar. Existing bar, and any existing damaged areas adjacent to the bar will be removed prior to reconstruction. Materials and quantities used will be listed to Outback personnel for review and approval before installation.
Red Orc Brewery proposes a hardwood bar, material to be determined based upon the availablility of wood at the time of construction. The bar will be treated so as to resist normal wear and tear, such as, damage from moisture, but no liability will be held by Red Orc Brewery in the event the bar is subject to abnormal wear and tear, to include but not limited to: magical influences, riots, intentional harm, acts of malicious gods, disruptions in the
time-space continuum, or any beverage consumed or promoted by Goon.
The bar itself will be inset on its front and sides with hand-carved glyphs and images in a motif to fit the Outback.
Two sets of taps will be installed linking the bar to a basement supply of ale. The basement facilities will be provided with temperature control to maintain the proper temperature for stored ales. Fittings for the taps will be treated brass. Room beneath the bar will be provided for the storage of more specialized stock ales and beers, along with a cabinet also temperature controlled for their storage.
Behind the bar, a large mirror will be installed, enabling patrons at the bar to maintain a view of the rings.
Above the bar, will be installed a cabinet for the storage of goblets, mugs, glasses and other items for use in serving customers.
Above and behind the bar, and above the mirror, will be installed shelving for the storage or spirits and licqours where they may be within view of customers.
Also above and behind the bar, and above the storage shelving, space will be installed to allow advertising of brands, events or other information at the discretion of Outback staff.
The bar itself shall be accompanied by a set of stools, and a brass foot railing. The stools will be of the same material as the bar and will be finished in the same manner as the bar.
An easy to maintain tiled floor will be inset around and behind the bar, sealed against water or moisture. Red Orc Brewery proposes a mosiac pattern of black and white tiles, decoratively arranged in a manner to accentuate the bar.
A stainless steel sink and running water will be installed behind the bar.
Optional
Should the Outback wish to exercise the option, Red Orc Brewery will also provide matching chairs and tables, enough to furnish the Outback, in a matching style to the bar and its accoutrements. These furnishings will be warrantied for the period of one year requiring free replacement for normal wear and tear. After the year, replacement furnishings will be at the cost of the Outback.
A display case, to be installed by Red Orc Brewery, will be constructed of similar materials and finish to the bar for the purpose of displaying trophies, plaques, and other memorbilia to recogize the achivements of Outback patrons.
Compensation
In return for designing and constructing the new bar, Red Orc Brewery requests the following compensation.
1. The right to advertise Red Orc Brewery within the Outback. Specifically, the Red Orc Brewery logo will be prominently displayed on the bar in a location of Red Orc Brewery's choosing.
1a. Advertising for other brands of ale, lager, or cider must be displayed at least 30' away from any Red Orc Brewery advertising, and must appear in smaller size than those of Red Orc Brewery.
1b. Advertising for other forms of beverage, which types are not produced or supplied by Red Orc Brewery (e.g. wines, liquors, juices, etc.), may be advertised without restriction, provided Red Orc Brewery advertising is not obscured or diminshed by such advertising.
1c. Red Orc Brewery will be allowed access to change advertising for Red Orc Brewery, as it sees fit, in conjunction with seasonal specials or changes in varietal production.
2. The right to be the primary supplier of ales to the Outback.
2a. For the period of 1 year, Red Orc Brewery must be the primary supplier of ales, lagers, and ciders for the Outback. After the first year, Outback officials will have the option to renegotiate suppliers.
2b. Outback representatives may request that Red Orc Brewery supply ales, lagers, and ciders not produced by the Brewery, but such orders may not exceed orders of Red Orc Brewery native stock. A 15% commission for the resale of non-Red Orc Brewery ales, lagers, and ciders to the Outback will be charged.
2c. Outback representatives will not call upon Red Orc Brewery to supply Dwarven brands of ale, lager, or ciders.
3. The Outback may not stock ales produced from other suppliers in greater quantity than those stocked from Red Orc Brewery.
4. The Outback may not price non-Red Orc Brewery ales in such a manner as to create unfair competition against Red Orc Brewery products.
5. The Outback may not commission or contract with any other organization or entity to make modifications to the bar, without first offering a reconstruction bid to Red Orc Brewery. Upon written decline of the right to effect modifications, Outback staff may contract with other entities or organizations. This requirement will remain in effect for one year from the time reconstruction is completed.
6. From time to time, joint promotions between Red Orc Brewery and other organizations (e.g. Munro's Deli and Ice Cream Shoppe), will offer products that are not directly products of Red Orc Brewery. Such products will be stocked by the Outback, in promotional quantities, at no cost to the Outback, unless such promotions result in a desire to regularly stock said items. In that event, the product will be procured from Red Orc Brewery sources, at
prices to be negotiated at that time.
6a. A Red Orc Brewery subsidiary, which produces "Pretzel Boy" brand pretzels, shall be contracted as the exclusive supplier for pretzels for the Outback for the period of one year. No minimum stock levels will be established.
In return for the above compensation, no direct monetary compensation for the design and construction of the bar will be required. All materials and labor for the construction of the bar will be provided by Red Orc Brewery.
From: JakeThrash
From the offices of
Mojo, Pug (pronounced "Guppy"), and Guido
Goblin Attorneys at Law
Red Orc Brewery proposal
Red Orc Brewery shall build a bar and accompanying facilities to replace the damaged bar. Existing bar, and any existing damaged areas adjacent to the bar will be removed prior to reconstruction. Materials and quantities used will be listed to Outback personnel for review and approval before installation.
Red Orc Brewery proposes a hardwood bar, material to be determined based upon the availablility of wood at the time of construction. The bar will be treated so as to resist normal wear and tear, such as, damage from moisture, but no liability will be held by Red Orc Brewery in the event the bar is subject to abnormal wear and tear, to include but not limited to: magical influences, riots, intentional harm, acts of malicious gods, disruptions in the
time-space continuum, or any beverage consumed or promoted by Goon.
The bar itself will be inset on its front and sides with hand-carved glyphs and images in a motif to fit the Outback.
Two sets of taps will be installed linking the bar to a basement supply of ale. The basement facilities will be provided with temperature control to maintain the proper temperature for stored ales. Fittings for the taps will be treated brass. Room beneath the bar will be provided for the storage of more specialized stock ales and beers, along with a cabinet also temperature controlled for their storage.
Behind the bar, a large mirror will be installed, enabling patrons at the bar to maintain a view of the rings.
Above the bar, will be installed a cabinet for the storage of goblets, mugs, glasses and other items for use in serving customers.
Above and behind the bar, and above the mirror, will be installed shelving for the storage or spirits and licqours where they may be within view of customers.
Also above and behind the bar, and above the storage shelving, space will be installed to allow advertising of brands, events or other information at the discretion of Outback staff.
The bar itself shall be accompanied by a set of stools, and a brass foot railing. The stools will be of the same material as the bar and will be finished in the same manner as the bar.
An easy to maintain tiled floor will be inset around and behind the bar, sealed against water or moisture. Red Orc Brewery proposes a mosiac pattern of black and white tiles, decoratively arranged in a manner to accentuate the bar.
A stainless steel sink and running water will be installed behind the bar.
Optional
Should the Outback wish to exercise the option, Red Orc Brewery will also provide matching chairs and tables, enough to furnish the Outback, in a matching style to the bar and its accoutrements. These furnishings will be warrantied for the period of one year requiring free replacement for normal wear and tear. After the year, replacement furnishings will be at the cost of the Outback.
A display case, to be installed by Red Orc Brewery, will be constructed of similar materials and finish to the bar for the purpose of displaying trophies, plaques, and other memorbilia to recogize the achivements of Outback patrons.
Compensation
In return for designing and constructing the new bar, Red Orc Brewery requests the following compensation.
1. The right to advertise Red Orc Brewery within the Outback. Specifically, the Red Orc Brewery logo will be prominently displayed on the bar in a location of Red Orc Brewery's choosing.
1a. Advertising for other brands of ale, lager, or cider must be displayed at least 30' away from any Red Orc Brewery advertising, and must appear in smaller size than those of Red Orc Brewery.
1b. Advertising for other forms of beverage, which types are not produced or supplied by Red Orc Brewery (e.g. wines, liquors, juices, etc.), may be advertised without restriction, provided Red Orc Brewery advertising is not obscured or diminshed by such advertising.
1c. Red Orc Brewery will be allowed access to change advertising for Red Orc Brewery, as it sees fit, in conjunction with seasonal specials or changes in varietal production.
2. The right to be the primary supplier of ales to the Outback.
2a. For the period of 1 year, Red Orc Brewery must be the primary supplier of ales, lagers, and ciders for the Outback. After the first year, Outback officials will have the option to renegotiate suppliers.
2b. Outback representatives may request that Red Orc Brewery supply ales, lagers, and ciders not produced by the Brewery, but such orders may not exceed orders of Red Orc Brewery native stock. A 15% commission for the resale of non-Red Orc Brewery ales, lagers, and ciders to the Outback will be charged.
2c. Outback representatives will not call upon Red Orc Brewery to supply Dwarven brands of ale, lager, or ciders.
3. The Outback may not stock ales produced from other suppliers in greater quantity than those stocked from Red Orc Brewery.
4. The Outback may not price non-Red Orc Brewery ales in such a manner as to create unfair competition against Red Orc Brewery products.
5. The Outback may not commission or contract with any other organization or entity to make modifications to the bar, without first offering a reconstruction bid to Red Orc Brewery. Upon written decline of the right to effect modifications, Outback staff may contract with other entities or organizations. This requirement will remain in effect for one year from the time reconstruction is completed.
6. From time to time, joint promotions between Red Orc Brewery and other organizations (e.g. Munro's Deli and Ice Cream Shoppe), will offer products that are not directly products of Red Orc Brewery. Such products will be stocked by the Outback, in promotional quantities, at no cost to the Outback, unless such promotions result in a desire to regularly stock said items. In that event, the product will be procured from Red Orc Brewery sources, at
prices to be negotiated at that time.
6a. A Red Orc Brewery subsidiary, which produces "Pretzel Boy" brand pretzels, shall be contracted as the exclusive supplier for pretzels for the Outback for the period of one year. No minimum stock levels will be established.
In return for the above compensation, no direct monetary compensation for the design and construction of the bar will be required. All materials and labor for the construction of the bar will be provided by Red Orc Brewery.