Date: 9/2/1997 12:43 AM Central Standard Time
From: JakeThrash
As Tis was pulling stuff off of the pickup truck, Jake was busy inside pointing out spots for Goon to sweep and Ryan to scrub as they "helped" Jake get the place back in order. Jake hadn't had time to wander to any neighboring towns to "recruit" any other involuntary labor, but between them Goon and Ryan were doing a pretty good job so Jake was pleased. Another few hours of work and the place would at least be presentable if somewhat empty.
Jake chuckled at catching Goon in the Arena. Evidently Goon hadn't known that the orc sometimes dueled over there as well. Though not very often. Not as often as he might have liked. He felt rusty. He really did need to get back into practice, but things had been so busy of late getting the brewery up and running. Always seemed there was one more thing to do.
When Jake looked outside and saw the furniture the orc was surprised and figured maybe he'd better find out what Tis was busy saying to himself. "... You know Jake, if you're going to turn this place into a little pub and brewery combination, you should turn this into a little patio for your patrons to enjoy the night air. It's got the perfect facing for an awning, and would prevent any further... accidents." Jake nodded to himself, that wasn't a half bad idea. Especially with these summer nights
being so warm. A patio out in front would be a great place to sit outside, have a drink, watch the night time activity and yet keep the explosives well away from the building."
Tis continued, "You know Jake, I got most of the materials at the farm. All you gotta do is spring for some canvas, and I can get to work building the patio for ya'. Won't cost you much, just a keg with my name in the back so's I can come and sit under my handiwork... What you think?"
Jake liked the idea and wandered back inside to see if there were any mugs that had survived the conflagration, so that he could up a mug of ale for himself while discussing the idea with Tis. Jake pointed out some more spots to Goon and grinned at him. "Not bad, not bad, another hour or so and I think you guys will be done."
Pulling up a chair Jake plopped down and set his ale on the table. "So you think I should go ahead and set up a tavern huh?" Jake took a long sip of the hearty black ale and pondered. "That's not a bad idea. Might be a good way to bring in more business." Jake pondered some more and drank some more.
With a nod to Tis Jake decided, "Alright, I'll send Mojo for the canvas this afternoon. Go ahead and start. Lemme know if there's anythin' else I need to get ya'. Can we put the awning on slidin' rails or somethin' so we can pull it back at night? So people have a clear view of the night sky?"
Red Orc Brewery
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Re:Red Orc Brewery
Date: 9/2/1997 8:31 PM Central Standard Time
From: RandalTan
::just walks by right as Jake finishes that last line. stops and blinks::
An orc being poetic? Talk of stars and fine ideas Jake?
Have you been drinking? Errr.. not drinking?
::leans on the doorway, looks in and grins to Goon. turns back to Jake, with a glance and smile to Tis::
So, you are gonna make it a pub/tavern too? Why not an Inn as well?
::chuckles::
Oh yeah.....before I forget...about that business propostition....
::looks through his pockets:: (m) It's in here somewhere.....
From: RandalTan
::just walks by right as Jake finishes that last line. stops and blinks::
An orc being poetic? Talk of stars and fine ideas Jake?
Have you been drinking? Errr.. not drinking?
::leans on the doorway, looks in and grins to Goon. turns back to Jake, with a glance and smile to Tis::
So, you are gonna make it a pub/tavern too? Why not an Inn as well?
::chuckles::
Oh yeah.....before I forget...about that business propostition....
::looks through his pockets:: (m) It's in here somewhere.....
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Date: 9/2/1997 10:33 PM Central Standard Time
From: SpifyMcBng
Goon swept slowly, bored out of his thick skull, wanting the broom to come alive so he could fight it. His strokes with the broom were slow and steady, but the oversized broom Jake had to get so Goon could sweep at all without accidentally crushing it into little splinters was covering a good portion of the ground. "Goon sweep there..Goon sweep corner..Goon sweep lot.." Yawning, Goon kept on working at his plodding pace.
Goon paused a moment to watch Ryan scrub. He was doing a good job with it, as the soot marks were coming off of everything easily. Goon remembered, somewhat, what Jake had told him as a tip for scrubbing the place down.."Goon...take brush...push...wipe hard.."
"Goon wipe lot hard.." Goon mumbled to himself. But Goon's mumbling is a little louder than most folks, and it caught Ryan's attention. He turned around, looked at Goon, then glanced at a large, Goon hand-sized hole in the wall. Goon noticed Jammer, looked at the wall, then recalled why Jake had snatched the brush and stuck a broom in his hand. Ryan went back to work, grumbling, and Goon sheepishly started to shovel the dust and dirt out the door with the enormous broom.
From: SpifyMcBng
Goon swept slowly, bored out of his thick skull, wanting the broom to come alive so he could fight it. His strokes with the broom were slow and steady, but the oversized broom Jake had to get so Goon could sweep at all without accidentally crushing it into little splinters was covering a good portion of the ground. "Goon sweep there..Goon sweep corner..Goon sweep lot.." Yawning, Goon kept on working at his plodding pace.
Goon paused a moment to watch Ryan scrub. He was doing a good job with it, as the soot marks were coming off of everything easily. Goon remembered, somewhat, what Jake had told him as a tip for scrubbing the place down.."Goon...take brush...push...wipe hard.."
"Goon wipe lot hard.." Goon mumbled to himself. But Goon's mumbling is a little louder than most folks, and it caught Ryan's attention. He turned around, looked at Goon, then glanced at a large, Goon hand-sized hole in the wall. Goon noticed Jammer, looked at the wall, then recalled why Jake had snatched the brush and stuck a broom in his hand. Ryan went back to work, grumbling, and Goon sheepishly started to shovel the dust and dirt out the door with the enormous broom.
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Re:Red Orc Brewery
Date: 9/4/1997 3:37 PM Central Standard Time
From: JayThunder
Still sitting in the now-half-repaired-and-still-very-dirty bar with a blackened glass of ale in one hand and a dust broom in the other, Jay decided to help Ryan and Goon. Ryan looked extremely exausted. Goon seemed to be... dancing with his broom? "I always knew poor Goon's brain was a little fried.." he muttered under his breath. Jay was getting just a little drunk after his third mug of ice-cold ale (potent stuff!) and failed to notice a rather large spider land in his drink. He picked up his
now-full mug (didn't he already take a couple sips? hmm), saw the large spider in it, and abruptly screamed, startling Goon and Ryan. Being a little paranoid of spiders, and knowing that spiders burn well, he threw his mug of beer into the fire.
Boom.
With ashes raining down on his head, Jammer and Goon just stared at him. Then started chasing him, screaming to rip his head off and stuff it down the fried porta-potty, and Jay sobered up pretty quickly. He charged into a dense section of a forest, out of breath and panting for it. Noticing he had lost Goon and Jammer he slowed to a walk.
And of course, with Jay's luck, he walked right into a hornet's nest. He decided quickly that the wrath of Goon and Ryan was much better than the wrath of thousands of extremely annoyed flying stingers. He ran the opposite way. "Look out! Really big bunch of hornets coming this way!" Jay screamed, startling the two blackened, angered duelers. Unfortunately, Goon and Ryan still had a very large grudge against Jay for blowing up the Brewery again.
They left him tied to the bottom branch of the nearest tree for hornet bait.
Jay was reportedly seen later covered with large red welts.
From: JayThunder
Still sitting in the now-half-repaired-and-still-very-dirty bar with a blackened glass of ale in one hand and a dust broom in the other, Jay decided to help Ryan and Goon. Ryan looked extremely exausted. Goon seemed to be... dancing with his broom? "I always knew poor Goon's brain was a little fried.." he muttered under his breath. Jay was getting just a little drunk after his third mug of ice-cold ale (potent stuff!) and failed to notice a rather large spider land in his drink. He picked up his
now-full mug (didn't he already take a couple sips? hmm), saw the large spider in it, and abruptly screamed, startling Goon and Ryan. Being a little paranoid of spiders, and knowing that spiders burn well, he threw his mug of beer into the fire.
Boom.
With ashes raining down on his head, Jammer and Goon just stared at him. Then started chasing him, screaming to rip his head off and stuff it down the fried porta-potty, and Jay sobered up pretty quickly. He charged into a dense section of a forest, out of breath and panting for it. Noticing he had lost Goon and Jammer he slowed to a walk.
And of course, with Jay's luck, he walked right into a hornet's nest. He decided quickly that the wrath of Goon and Ryan was much better than the wrath of thousands of extremely annoyed flying stingers. He ran the opposite way. "Look out! Really big bunch of hornets coming this way!" Jay screamed, startling the two blackened, angered duelers. Unfortunately, Goon and Ryan still had a very large grudge against Jay for blowing up the Brewery again.
They left him tied to the bottom branch of the nearest tree for hornet bait.
Jay was reportedly seen later covered with large red welts.
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Re:Red Orc Brewery
Date: 9/4/1997 10:44 PM Central Standard Time
From: SpifyMcBng
Goon stomped into the re-boomed bar, looking surprisingly mad. Tis, Rand, and Jake all looked up from their inspection of the new damage to the bar to see him and Ryan marching towards them. Although they couldn't be sure of the intentions of the angry, free cleanup crew, the trio was pretty sure they hadn't done anything that bad.
Just as Jake was about to open his mouth, Goon pointed in the general direction of the forest, and, with a definite tone of annoyance in his voice, "Boom man new help man! Boom man, that way, fight little pokey thing!" With that, Goon turned around and stomped back off to his forest home, leaving Ryan to try and explain things.
As Goon started passing through the trees, he found Jay, now exhausted, red, and swollen from his encounter with the nasty hornets, but still tied tightly to the tree. A few hornets still buzzed around his head, not quite finished with the intruder. Goon watched them for a moment silently, then bellowed, "Little pokey thing! Hurt boom man lot, go!" He pointed in the direction of the hornet's nest, and they all followed Goon's directions and flew away.
Goon grabbed the taut ropes and tugged, snapping them with relative ease (relative because most people wouldn't be able to get their fingers between the tree and rope to grab the rope in the first place). Jay tumbled to the ground, half-unconscious. Goon picked him up, flung him over his shoulder, and carried him in the direction of town. At the edge of town, he set Jay down, who was starting to regain his senses. Goon pointed in the direction of the bar and said, "Boom man go, work clean orc man
place!" With that, he walked back into the forest, leaving Jay to figure out what the best way was to avoid causing Jake's bar to erupt in flames once it was fixed- again.
From: SpifyMcBng
Goon stomped into the re-boomed bar, looking surprisingly mad. Tis, Rand, and Jake all looked up from their inspection of the new damage to the bar to see him and Ryan marching towards them. Although they couldn't be sure of the intentions of the angry, free cleanup crew, the trio was pretty sure they hadn't done anything that bad.
Just as Jake was about to open his mouth, Goon pointed in the general direction of the forest, and, with a definite tone of annoyance in his voice, "Boom man new help man! Boom man, that way, fight little pokey thing!" With that, Goon turned around and stomped back off to his forest home, leaving Ryan to try and explain things.
As Goon started passing through the trees, he found Jay, now exhausted, red, and swollen from his encounter with the nasty hornets, but still tied tightly to the tree. A few hornets still buzzed around his head, not quite finished with the intruder. Goon watched them for a moment silently, then bellowed, "Little pokey thing! Hurt boom man lot, go!" He pointed in the direction of the hornet's nest, and they all followed Goon's directions and flew away.
Goon grabbed the taut ropes and tugged, snapping them with relative ease (relative because most people wouldn't be able to get their fingers between the tree and rope to grab the rope in the first place). Jay tumbled to the ground, half-unconscious. Goon picked him up, flung him over his shoulder, and carried him in the direction of town. At the edge of town, he set Jay down, who was starting to regain his senses. Goon pointed in the direction of the bar and said, "Boom man go, work clean orc man
place!" With that, he walked back into the forest, leaving Jay to figure out what the best way was to avoid causing Jake's bar to erupt in flames once it was fixed- again.
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Re:Red Orc Brewery
Date: 9/5/1997 4:53 PM Central Standard Time
From: JayThunder
(Boom Man? Oh boy.)
After the assault from the hornets, Jay felt very bad. He felt worse after his swollen-red eyes saw Goon walking torward him at a fast pace. Jay went limp, pretending to be half-unconsious, though it really was unnessecary, because he was.
If you never have been lugged around by Goon, don't opt for it. Jay thought the bruises in his hip would never go away. Finally regaining his senses, he felt Goon put him down. He seemed happy about something. "wha.." Jay muttered, though he was pretty sure Goon couldn't hear him. Goon pointed a large finger at the now-in-cinders bar. "Boom man go, work clean orc man place!" Goon yelled, grinning. He then proceded to stomp off into the forest.
"Boom man?" Jay said to himself, as he walked slowly and carefully torward the door. Jake, Tis, Ryan and Rand all stared at him as if he was the Devil himself. "Uhmm..... hi..." Jay tried to say casually. Jake looked as if he was about to explode. After a long lecture from all four of the annoyed bar-mates, Jay got buried in cleaning utensils.
"If there's one thing I hate to do, it's clean.... " Jay muttered. He picked up a broom first, screamed second, dropped the broom third and held his swollen hand in pain fourth. Fifth.. he let go. "Yowtch! Mama Mia that stings!!!!!" Jay cried. He ran to the sink and plunged his hands in. The swelling didn't stop, but at least the pain did. For a while. 'Okay,' Jay thought to himself. 'How in the world do I clean a decimated bar with a decimated broom and other fried utensils when everything I
touch makes me hurt?' Jay thought, mind slowly wandering to a leper he once saw. "So that's how they must feel.." Jay said, sympathetically. Good thing he had his leprosy shot. With an idea, he asked Jake if he could run home for a bit. Charging home with the message that if he didn't return soon, he'd be hunted down and have a hornet's nest stuck onto his head, he leaped into his bathtub, poured in his special mix of 3 pounds of pain-reliever mixed with some cleansing herbs, and flipped the hot
water on. "Aaah... that feels good..." he said.. as the welts gradually went away. Jay grinned, thinking 'One whole day of non-torture! Woohoo!'
From: JayThunder
(Boom Man? Oh boy.)
After the assault from the hornets, Jay felt very bad. He felt worse after his swollen-red eyes saw Goon walking torward him at a fast pace. Jay went limp, pretending to be half-unconsious, though it really was unnessecary, because he was.
If you never have been lugged around by Goon, don't opt for it. Jay thought the bruises in his hip would never go away. Finally regaining his senses, he felt Goon put him down. He seemed happy about something. "wha.." Jay muttered, though he was pretty sure Goon couldn't hear him. Goon pointed a large finger at the now-in-cinders bar. "Boom man go, work clean orc man place!" Goon yelled, grinning. He then proceded to stomp off into the forest.
"Boom man?" Jay said to himself, as he walked slowly and carefully torward the door. Jake, Tis, Ryan and Rand all stared at him as if he was the Devil himself. "Uhmm..... hi..." Jay tried to say casually. Jake looked as if he was about to explode. After a long lecture from all four of the annoyed bar-mates, Jay got buried in cleaning utensils.
"If there's one thing I hate to do, it's clean.... " Jay muttered. He picked up a broom first, screamed second, dropped the broom third and held his swollen hand in pain fourth. Fifth.. he let go. "Yowtch! Mama Mia that stings!!!!!" Jay cried. He ran to the sink and plunged his hands in. The swelling didn't stop, but at least the pain did. For a while. 'Okay,' Jay thought to himself. 'How in the world do I clean a decimated bar with a decimated broom and other fried utensils when everything I
touch makes me hurt?' Jay thought, mind slowly wandering to a leper he once saw. "So that's how they must feel.." Jay said, sympathetically. Good thing he had his leprosy shot. With an idea, he asked Jake if he could run home for a bit. Charging home with the message that if he didn't return soon, he'd be hunted down and have a hornet's nest stuck onto his head, he leaped into his bathtub, poured in his special mix of 3 pounds of pain-reliever mixed with some cleansing herbs, and flipped the hot
water on. "Aaah... that feels good..." he said.. as the welts gradually went away. Jay grinned, thinking 'One whole day of non-torture! Woohoo!'
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Not again!
Date: 9/7/1997 2:17 AM Central Standard Time
From: JakeThrash
Jake looked stricken. He was standing in the doorway when once more an explosion ripped through the brewery. "Not again..." was all he was able to get out before he was thrown backward by the blast.
Jake had been about to reply to pretzelboy when the calamity occurred. The orc wasn't sure what happened to Rand after the explosion. This just wasn't turning out to be Jake's week. And with Goon punching holes in his walls, the orc was becoming more and more certain that the moat and pit traps he'd originally wanted for the brewery might have been a good idea. He dimly thought about wringing the goblin's neck for talking him out of the defensive contructions.
Once more clambering back to his feet, and thinking he was going to need to invest in heavier armor if he wanted to stay in business, the orc grew a new respect for merchants having never realized quite how hazardous it was to run a business.
As he came back to his senses, Jake could see Jay dashing off into the woods with Goon in hot pursuit. Jake shuddered thinking Jay had better run quick. Anyone who could punch holes in the brick walls of his brewery wasn't someone to meet in a dark alley.
While Jake was still examining the new damage with Rand and Tis, he was thinking that the wrought iron chairs had held up fairly well and wondered what the cost of all iron furniture would be. Goon and Ryan returned to the brewery about then and before the orc could ask the monolithic goon what happened, he was cut off. "Boom man new help man! Boom man, that way, fight little pokey thing!"
Jake thought to himself, "He's fighting little rangers?" as the word "pokey" immediately drew up images of the ranger, Aragorn, who sometimes wandered in to fight Jake in the Outback. It had been a while since Jake had seen Pokey. The orc briefly wondered what he had been up to in the last few months.
Again, before Jake could say anything Goon stomped off back into the woods. Jake figured this time he would let him go. He looked kinda irritated and the orc began to suspect that an irritated goon might not be good cleanup help. The hole in the wall sort of hinted at that.
A little bit later, Jay came limping towards the brewery. Jake was ready to do some serious mangling of his own, though he paused as he saw Jay's condition. Jay looked like he'd lost a fight with a hornet's nest, and the orc suddenly realized what Goon had meant by "pokey things."
"Uhmm..... hi..." Jay tried to say casually. The orc was in no mood to be lenient and berated Jay at some length, with help from the others caught in the blast, before attempting to hand him the cleaning utensils. When Jay nearly shrieked from grasping the broom, Jake realized that his swollen hands would be no good for cleaning. The orc sighed. His plan of raiding a nearby town for involuntary labor was beginning to look like a necessity.
As Jay slipped away with promises to return as soon as he'd treated his injuries, the orc sighed once more and took up the broom. It was going to be a long day.
From: JakeThrash
Jake looked stricken. He was standing in the doorway when once more an explosion ripped through the brewery. "Not again..." was all he was able to get out before he was thrown backward by the blast.
Jake had been about to reply to pretzelboy when the calamity occurred. The orc wasn't sure what happened to Rand after the explosion. This just wasn't turning out to be Jake's week. And with Goon punching holes in his walls, the orc was becoming more and more certain that the moat and pit traps he'd originally wanted for the brewery might have been a good idea. He dimly thought about wringing the goblin's neck for talking him out of the defensive contructions.
Once more clambering back to his feet, and thinking he was going to need to invest in heavier armor if he wanted to stay in business, the orc grew a new respect for merchants having never realized quite how hazardous it was to run a business.
As he came back to his senses, Jake could see Jay dashing off into the woods with Goon in hot pursuit. Jake shuddered thinking Jay had better run quick. Anyone who could punch holes in the brick walls of his brewery wasn't someone to meet in a dark alley.
While Jake was still examining the new damage with Rand and Tis, he was thinking that the wrought iron chairs had held up fairly well and wondered what the cost of all iron furniture would be. Goon and Ryan returned to the brewery about then and before the orc could ask the monolithic goon what happened, he was cut off. "Boom man new help man! Boom man, that way, fight little pokey thing!"
Jake thought to himself, "He's fighting little rangers?" as the word "pokey" immediately drew up images of the ranger, Aragorn, who sometimes wandered in to fight Jake in the Outback. It had been a while since Jake had seen Pokey. The orc briefly wondered what he had been up to in the last few months.
Again, before Jake could say anything Goon stomped off back into the woods. Jake figured this time he would let him go. He looked kinda irritated and the orc began to suspect that an irritated goon might not be good cleanup help. The hole in the wall sort of hinted at that.
A little bit later, Jay came limping towards the brewery. Jake was ready to do some serious mangling of his own, though he paused as he saw Jay's condition. Jay looked like he'd lost a fight with a hornet's nest, and the orc suddenly realized what Goon had meant by "pokey things."
"Uhmm..... hi..." Jay tried to say casually. The orc was in no mood to be lenient and berated Jay at some length, with help from the others caught in the blast, before attempting to hand him the cleaning utensils. When Jay nearly shrieked from grasping the broom, Jake realized that his swollen hands would be no good for cleaning. The orc sighed. His plan of raiding a nearby town for involuntary labor was beginning to look like a necessity.
As Jay slipped away with promises to return as soon as he'd treated his injuries, the orc sighed once more and took up the broom. It was going to be a long day.
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Re:Red Orc Brewery
Date: 9/8/1997 3:29 PM Central Standard Time
From: TismanBRos
"Oh da howwah..." Tis remembered Elmer Fudd saying in one of the mindless toons that he had watched in his lifetime. He simply shook his head and muttered something about banning certain reckless people from the establishment, then continuing on the lines of wanting to start a RhyDin safety comittee before realizing that it would never work.
Tis rode out to the farm, gathering together the lumber needed to make a rather nice patio, large timbers for beams, studs for supports, even lumber for building a rather extensive wooden deck. He had happened across an awning winder (one of those lil metal whatchamacallits that roll the thingamagigy up across the whoosiewhatsit, to clarify) and brought it along as well. Tis unloaded the lumber and pondered pulling a 3 Stooges style move with a crossbeam across Jay's noggin' for trying to blow the
place up again, but figured that if Jake wanted to, he could more than likely think of far more severe punishments.
Tis started to lay out the materials in logical places, all except the deck lumber. "You want a hardwood deck to go with this gig Jake, or you want to leave it natural?" He awaited an answer before even thinking about the deck, sitting back to smoke a cigarette and have a mug of ale to relax for a bit.
From: TismanBRos
"Oh da howwah..." Tis remembered Elmer Fudd saying in one of the mindless toons that he had watched in his lifetime. He simply shook his head and muttered something about banning certain reckless people from the establishment, then continuing on the lines of wanting to start a RhyDin safety comittee before realizing that it would never work.
Tis rode out to the farm, gathering together the lumber needed to make a rather nice patio, large timbers for beams, studs for supports, even lumber for building a rather extensive wooden deck. He had happened across an awning winder (one of those lil metal whatchamacallits that roll the thingamagigy up across the whoosiewhatsit, to clarify) and brought it along as well. Tis unloaded the lumber and pondered pulling a 3 Stooges style move with a crossbeam across Jay's noggin' for trying to blow the
place up again, but figured that if Jake wanted to, he could more than likely think of far more severe punishments.
Tis started to lay out the materials in logical places, all except the deck lumber. "You want a hardwood deck to go with this gig Jake, or you want to leave it natural?" He awaited an answer before even thinking about the deck, sitting back to smoke a cigarette and have a mug of ale to relax for a bit.
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Building with style!
Date: 9/8/1997 7:12 PM Central Standard Time
From: JayThunder
After healing in his material home (which incidentally, was incinerated after Jay had left.. hmm..), Jay set off with a vengeance with a building plan in his hand to the twice-fried Red Orc Brewery. "I can't believe I, of all people, thought of this." Jay said gleefully. Sitting in a bathtub for two days straight was really dull, so Jay drew. He happened to draw the Brewery. "Now lets see.. if I put this here, and this here... hmm.. aha!" were some of the things coming from Jay's house while he was
rejuvinating in his tub.
Jay had gone about a mile from his house when it erupted in flames. "Rats, there goes my shag carpeting." he muttered, but otherwise he was still excited about showing Jake his plans. He pondered who did it. Oh well... that was for later to think about. Or was that for him to think about later? Confused, he just ran to the bar.
"Now, Jake," Jay happily spoke to the rather annoyed and sooty Orc, "These plans will make your Brewery completely kaboom-proof." Jay laid out his plans of a two-story, stainless steel brewery. He grinned.
From: JayThunder
After healing in his material home (which incidentally, was incinerated after Jay had left.. hmm..), Jay set off with a vengeance with a building plan in his hand to the twice-fried Red Orc Brewery. "I can't believe I, of all people, thought of this." Jay said gleefully. Sitting in a bathtub for two days straight was really dull, so Jay drew. He happened to draw the Brewery. "Now lets see.. if I put this here, and this here... hmm.. aha!" were some of the things coming from Jay's house while he was
rejuvinating in his tub.
Jay had gone about a mile from his house when it erupted in flames. "Rats, there goes my shag carpeting." he muttered, but otherwise he was still excited about showing Jake his plans. He pondered who did it. Oh well... that was for later to think about. Or was that for him to think about later? Confused, he just ran to the bar.
"Now, Jake," Jay happily spoke to the rather annoyed and sooty Orc, "These plans will make your Brewery completely kaboom-proof." Jay laid out his plans of a two-story, stainless steel brewery. He grinned.
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Re:Red Orc Brewery
Date: 9/11/1997 1:27 AM Central Standard Time
From: JammerZ33
Ryan sighed. It was getting to be a bit much. Having the brewery explode in his face once was bad enough....twice, now....At least there had been some satisfaction in Goon's solution. Oh well....he sat at a table, enjoying a moment of relaxation before going back to work on the cleanup, when Jay came running in, welt-free. He was waving a drawing around frantically, calling for Jake. Ryan thumbed him in Jake's direction, and heard Jay explaining something about a stainless-steel brewery.....right.
He sighed, and got back to sweeping up the remainder of the debris, shaking his head. "Nice solution, Jay..." He wondered if the place would ever get back to normal again....
From: JammerZ33
Ryan sighed. It was getting to be a bit much. Having the brewery explode in his face once was bad enough....twice, now....At least there had been some satisfaction in Goon's solution. Oh well....he sat at a table, enjoying a moment of relaxation before going back to work on the cleanup, when Jay came running in, welt-free. He was waving a drawing around frantically, calling for Jake. Ryan thumbed him in Jake's direction, and heard Jay explaining something about a stainless-steel brewery.....right.
He sighed, and got back to sweeping up the remainder of the debris, shaking his head. "Nice solution, Jay..." He wondered if the place would ever get back to normal again....
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The work begins...
Date: 9/16/1997 3:15 AM Central Standard Time
From: JakeThrash
"...You want a hardwood deck to go with this gig Jake, or you want to leave it natural?"
Jake thought about the question. If it rained the mud would tend to make the area rather unapproachable, which from a tactical perspective might not be bad, but with a sigh Jake remembered that he was building a brewery not a fortress. "Yeah... I think a hardwood deck would be good. Either that or maybe a stone patio... "
Jake looked over the metal "whatchamacallits" and nodded to himself, I suppose I'll have to get somethin' to make the awning with. Something in red I think..." The orc distractedly sweeped as he pondered before realizing what he was doing and grumbled. Maybe he could make the goblin clean things up... Jake shuddered. No. Best not to let Mojo get involved. Jake set aside the broom and decided he needed an ale. Wandering back inside the singed front, the orc disappeared within quietly muttering
to himself.
When Jay returned ranting about "stainless steel brewerys" the orc at first thought "hey...that's not a bad idea..." but then thought about it some more and realized "hey waitaminit, that's a LOT of steel! It will cost me a fortune!" The orc grumbled to himself. "Besides," he muttered to himself, "it would turn the interior into an oven in the summer months." The orc sighed. And it had sounded like such a good idea. No. It was better to stick with the brick. Which had actually stood up quite
well to the consecutive explosions. The damage the brewery had taken was mostly superficial. The wood paneling and furniture.
As Jake was finishing piling up the burnt wood behind the brewery, a small yellow goblin popped out of nowhere beneath the orc's feet tripping him. The orc snarled as he fell, the wood scattering out of his arms. The orc rolled over and glared at the goblin. "Goblin I am gonna turn you into a boot if you keep doin' that."
The goblin chittered and grinned. "Sorry Jake, honest, I don't know how that happens."
The orc brushed the charcoal and wood off of himself as he regained his feet. The orc was still imagining clever ways to fricasse the goblin as he got up.
For the goblin's part, he was looking at the piles of burnt wood, his eyes wide and gleaming. Almost glowing in the dark. "Dammit" the orc thought, "they ARE glowing in the dark." The orc hated it when Mojo used magic. It made him uncomfortable.
The goblin giggled and looked up at Jake, "What have you been doing Jake? Having a barbecue without me?"
The orc grumbled, "No!" And then grumbled some more. "People keep blowin' things up in the front room."
The goblin turned his head nearly 180 degrees to look back towards the front of the brewery. "Really?!" The note of amazement was lost on the orc.
"Yes really," the orc grumbled again.
"Cool! I want to see!" And with that the goblin dashed off to go see the damage done by the explosions.
The orc shook his head. The goblin never ceased to find amusement in everything. Jake was sure the goblin would think that getting blown up would be fun. Heck, even now the goblin was probably looking for something explosive...
The orc blanched.
"Mojo? Mojo!!!" The orc started to run towards the front of the building. "NO! MOJO! Don't do it!"
From: JakeThrash
"...You want a hardwood deck to go with this gig Jake, or you want to leave it natural?"
Jake thought about the question. If it rained the mud would tend to make the area rather unapproachable, which from a tactical perspective might not be bad, but with a sigh Jake remembered that he was building a brewery not a fortress. "Yeah... I think a hardwood deck would be good. Either that or maybe a stone patio... "
Jake looked over the metal "whatchamacallits" and nodded to himself, I suppose I'll have to get somethin' to make the awning with. Something in red I think..." The orc distractedly sweeped as he pondered before realizing what he was doing and grumbled. Maybe he could make the goblin clean things up... Jake shuddered. No. Best not to let Mojo get involved. Jake set aside the broom and decided he needed an ale. Wandering back inside the singed front, the orc disappeared within quietly muttering
to himself.
When Jay returned ranting about "stainless steel brewerys" the orc at first thought "hey...that's not a bad idea..." but then thought about it some more and realized "hey waitaminit, that's a LOT of steel! It will cost me a fortune!" The orc grumbled to himself. "Besides," he muttered to himself, "it would turn the interior into an oven in the summer months." The orc sighed. And it had sounded like such a good idea. No. It was better to stick with the brick. Which had actually stood up quite
well to the consecutive explosions. The damage the brewery had taken was mostly superficial. The wood paneling and furniture.
As Jake was finishing piling up the burnt wood behind the brewery, a small yellow goblin popped out of nowhere beneath the orc's feet tripping him. The orc snarled as he fell, the wood scattering out of his arms. The orc rolled over and glared at the goblin. "Goblin I am gonna turn you into a boot if you keep doin' that."
The goblin chittered and grinned. "Sorry Jake, honest, I don't know how that happens."
The orc brushed the charcoal and wood off of himself as he regained his feet. The orc was still imagining clever ways to fricasse the goblin as he got up.
For the goblin's part, he was looking at the piles of burnt wood, his eyes wide and gleaming. Almost glowing in the dark. "Dammit" the orc thought, "they ARE glowing in the dark." The orc hated it when Mojo used magic. It made him uncomfortable.
The goblin giggled and looked up at Jake, "What have you been doing Jake? Having a barbecue without me?"
The orc grumbled, "No!" And then grumbled some more. "People keep blowin' things up in the front room."
The goblin turned his head nearly 180 degrees to look back towards the front of the brewery. "Really?!" The note of amazement was lost on the orc.
"Yes really," the orc grumbled again.
"Cool! I want to see!" And with that the goblin dashed off to go see the damage done by the explosions.
The orc shook his head. The goblin never ceased to find amusement in everything. Jake was sure the goblin would think that getting blown up would be fun. Heck, even now the goblin was probably looking for something explosive...
The orc blanched.
"Mojo? Mojo!!!" The orc started to run towards the front of the building. "NO! MOJO! Don't do it!"
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The horror begins...
Date: 9/16/1997 3:16 AM Central Standard Time
From: JakeThrash
The horror that awaited Jake at the front of the building was worse than he could imagine.
There was Mojo in the middle of it all. Standing and giggling. All 24 inches feet of him. As indestructible as ever. Tossing faerie dust through the air...
It was far worse than anything Jake had forseen. He had expected to run around the front of the building to see Mojo about to blow the entire building up, but instead, Mojo was tossing his magic dust all over the place. And everywhere the dust touched, all manner of flowers and colorful toadstools were growing. On the ground. On the walls of the brewery. On the wrought iron chairs. On the supplies for the decking. Bright speckled toadstools with purple and pink polka dots, and flowers that
sang, their colorful faces turning to face whoever was nearest them. And everywhere there were bright splotches of color seeping into the ground and the brick.
Jake recoiled in horror. "MOJO! What have you done!"
The goblin was busy dancing about on his tippy-toes. Giggling madly and tossing his sparkling dust all about. "I'm fixing stuff Jake. Can't you tell?"
The orc was horrified. "How am I ever gonna get anyone to come back! They are all gonna be afraid of being turned into a mushroom!"
The goblin just giggled and bounded about. "Jake you are so silly. Of course they will come back. They'll want to see how nice the place looks now." Neon green fungus was clinging to the walls of the brewery now, its glow wavering brighter and darker from moment to moment. Jake would swear the flowers had uprooted themselves and were dancing about, following Mojo as if he were the pied piper.
Jake brought his hands to his face, covering his eyes and snarled, "I'm ruined! My brewery has turned into an elf's nightmare."
The sound of Mojo singing to himself receded into the distance, a chorus of singing daisies was following. The orc was despairing to himself of ever being able to open his doors again for fear that someone would accidentally touch one of Mojo's garish toadstools that would send everyone within thirty feet into a hallucinogenic coma for a week. This was much worse than the explosions. At least Jake could recover from those. He could rebuild it. But garden it? Jake was doomed.
Jake slowly resigned himself and pulled his hands away from his face. The singing goblin's voice had faded off into the distance some time ago. The orc slowly opened his eyes wondering if he could torch the entire brewery in the hopes of killing the faerie plants. Jake couldn't believe his eyes.
The orc peered about left and right, searching the brewery and its environs, but he could see naught of the goblin's mystical faerie plants. They were all gone! The glowing green lichen. The polka dotted toadstools. The singing daisies. The little rainbow colored lights. It was all gone.
And in their wake the brewery was restored. Just as it had been before it had been blown up the first time. No. Even better than that. The wrought iron chairs and the wooden tables were there under a colorful red awning. The wood decking was complete and looked swept and sanded. It was like an army of laborers had been at work for a week or more. The orc couldn't believe his eyes.
Jake explored the brewery, poking at the brick and the wood paneling. Everything was real. It was all restored. Even the sign that had listed all the prices was put back up. The paint looked like it was only a day old.
The orc shook his head. He hated magic. He REALLY hated magic.
From: JakeThrash
The horror that awaited Jake at the front of the building was worse than he could imagine.
There was Mojo in the middle of it all. Standing and giggling. All 24 inches feet of him. As indestructible as ever. Tossing faerie dust through the air...
It was far worse than anything Jake had forseen. He had expected to run around the front of the building to see Mojo about to blow the entire building up, but instead, Mojo was tossing his magic dust all over the place. And everywhere the dust touched, all manner of flowers and colorful toadstools were growing. On the ground. On the walls of the brewery. On the wrought iron chairs. On the supplies for the decking. Bright speckled toadstools with purple and pink polka dots, and flowers that
sang, their colorful faces turning to face whoever was nearest them. And everywhere there were bright splotches of color seeping into the ground and the brick.
Jake recoiled in horror. "MOJO! What have you done!"
The goblin was busy dancing about on his tippy-toes. Giggling madly and tossing his sparkling dust all about. "I'm fixing stuff Jake. Can't you tell?"
The orc was horrified. "How am I ever gonna get anyone to come back! They are all gonna be afraid of being turned into a mushroom!"
The goblin just giggled and bounded about. "Jake you are so silly. Of course they will come back. They'll want to see how nice the place looks now." Neon green fungus was clinging to the walls of the brewery now, its glow wavering brighter and darker from moment to moment. Jake would swear the flowers had uprooted themselves and were dancing about, following Mojo as if he were the pied piper.
Jake brought his hands to his face, covering his eyes and snarled, "I'm ruined! My brewery has turned into an elf's nightmare."
The sound of Mojo singing to himself receded into the distance, a chorus of singing daisies was following. The orc was despairing to himself of ever being able to open his doors again for fear that someone would accidentally touch one of Mojo's garish toadstools that would send everyone within thirty feet into a hallucinogenic coma for a week. This was much worse than the explosions. At least Jake could recover from those. He could rebuild it. But garden it? Jake was doomed.
Jake slowly resigned himself and pulled his hands away from his face. The singing goblin's voice had faded off into the distance some time ago. The orc slowly opened his eyes wondering if he could torch the entire brewery in the hopes of killing the faerie plants. Jake couldn't believe his eyes.
The orc peered about left and right, searching the brewery and its environs, but he could see naught of the goblin's mystical faerie plants. They were all gone! The glowing green lichen. The polka dotted toadstools. The singing daisies. The little rainbow colored lights. It was all gone.
And in their wake the brewery was restored. Just as it had been before it had been blown up the first time. No. Even better than that. The wrought iron chairs and the wooden tables were there under a colorful red awning. The wood decking was complete and looked swept and sanded. It was like an army of laborers had been at work for a week or more. The orc couldn't believe his eyes.
Jake explored the brewery, poking at the brick and the wood paneling. Everything was real. It was all restored. Even the sign that had listed all the prices was put back up. The paint looked like it was only a day old.
The orc shook his head. He hated magic. He REALLY hated magic.
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epilogue
Date: 9/16/1997 3:17 AM Central Standard Time
From: JakeThrash
The orc sighed and wandered inside the brewery. He really needed an ale. A strong one. Fetching himself a wooden mug off the shelf, the orc poured out a full mug of his black ale and with a deep breath took a long chug of the rich dark fluid.
And spit it out a moment later. The cinnamon apple taste of the brew betrayed the goblin's handywork. The orc roared and dashed out of the brewery with murder in his eyes. "Mojo!!!! I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna cut you up into so many pieces ..."
From: JakeThrash
The orc sighed and wandered inside the brewery. He really needed an ale. A strong one. Fetching himself a wooden mug off the shelf, the orc poured out a full mug of his black ale and with a deep breath took a long chug of the rich dark fluid.
And spit it out a moment later. The cinnamon apple taste of the brew betrayed the goblin's handywork. The orc roared and dashed out of the brewery with murder in his eyes. "Mojo!!!! I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna cut you up into so many pieces ..."
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Tag Team Dueling & Crayons
Date: 9/26/1997 2:53 AM Central Standard Time
From: JakeThrash
Jake was still in amazement that the goblin's magic had done such a good job restoring the brewery. Now he was just worried the scent of magic had driven off his customers. No one had been by in several days. The orc hoped Mojo hadn't gone and jinxed the place. Better not to think of such things... Wiping down the counter, the orc pondered the news of the Tag-Team Dueling. What a great idea the orc thought. It certainly sounded like a lot of fun. The orc was going to have to make a point to try this out. He frowned for a moment realizing that he would need a partner. Wouldn't be much fun if he had to face all of the other teams alone. A challenge perhaps, but Jake was pretty sure Ian wouldn't let him in the if he didn't have a partner. Who to ask? While the orc thought, he rummaged into a drawer and pulled out a red crayon and began scribbling down names and then small stick figures that reminded him of the duelers in question. He was a little amazed he'd drawn Perky's haloed figure. Scowling to himself the orc muttered under his breath. "Like I'd ever team up with a paladin. How would I ever live it down?" To redeem his thoughts the orc drew in a figure of himself beating up the haloed paladin. Soon dueling figures were scrawled all over the counter. When Jake realized what he was doing he stopped and scowled even more darkly. He hadn't meant to get the counter covered in crayon drawings. He sighed. He wondered if he could get Mojo to clean this up. The orc thought for a moment and snorted. "Knowin' Mojo, he'll make all the drawings cometo life and start dancin' around on the counter." "Yeah, that's what I need... more magic. To chase away any hope of customers ever again." The orc went back to pondering who to ask to be his partner. He needed a good name too. Shannon had her "Four Horsemen", and Goon had his "Glass Snakes." What could Jake call his team? He vaguely recalled something Ian had said. "The Bruise Brothers." Hmmm, the orc thought. That had a nice ring to it. Yeah, Jake liked the sound of that name a lot. He did love bruising people after all. Jake scowled again. He'd absently begun drawing more figures on the counter. Scarcely an inch of the counter-top was clear of the little stick figure drawings. Jake looked down at the drawnings and suddenly had an idea. Scrounging under the bar, the orc found several boxes of crayons and took them out to the patio. He set out a selection of crayons on each table. If orcs liked to draw, maybe other people did too. While they werequaffing an ale, and maybe munching on some pretzelboy pretzels, they would like to use the crayons. Jake grinned just a little. Maybe people would even draw out some of their fighting tricks when they were explaining them to their friends. Drawings Jake could look at later to see how to beat them. The orc chuckled to himself. He was liking this idea more and more.______________________________________________Don't forget to check out the Red Orc Brewery! Proud to be a sponsor of the Outback's Tag-Team Dueling!
From: JakeThrash
Jake was still in amazement that the goblin's magic had done such a good job restoring the brewery. Now he was just worried the scent of magic had driven off his customers. No one had been by in several days. The orc hoped Mojo hadn't gone and jinxed the place. Better not to think of such things... Wiping down the counter, the orc pondered the news of the Tag-Team Dueling. What a great idea the orc thought. It certainly sounded like a lot of fun. The orc was going to have to make a point to try this out. He frowned for a moment realizing that he would need a partner. Wouldn't be much fun if he had to face all of the other teams alone. A challenge perhaps, but Jake was pretty sure Ian wouldn't let him in the if he didn't have a partner. Who to ask? While the orc thought, he rummaged into a drawer and pulled out a red crayon and began scribbling down names and then small stick figures that reminded him of the duelers in question. He was a little amazed he'd drawn Perky's haloed figure. Scowling to himself the orc muttered under his breath. "Like I'd ever team up with a paladin. How would I ever live it down?" To redeem his thoughts the orc drew in a figure of himself beating up the haloed paladin. Soon dueling figures were scrawled all over the counter. When Jake realized what he was doing he stopped and scowled even more darkly. He hadn't meant to get the counter covered in crayon drawings. He sighed. He wondered if he could get Mojo to clean this up. The orc thought for a moment and snorted. "Knowin' Mojo, he'll make all the drawings cometo life and start dancin' around on the counter." "Yeah, that's what I need... more magic. To chase away any hope of customers ever again." The orc went back to pondering who to ask to be his partner. He needed a good name too. Shannon had her "Four Horsemen", and Goon had his "Glass Snakes." What could Jake call his team? He vaguely recalled something Ian had said. "The Bruise Brothers." Hmmm, the orc thought. That had a nice ring to it. Yeah, Jake liked the sound of that name a lot. He did love bruising people after all. Jake scowled again. He'd absently begun drawing more figures on the counter. Scarcely an inch of the counter-top was clear of the little stick figure drawings. Jake looked down at the drawnings and suddenly had an idea. Scrounging under the bar, the orc found several boxes of crayons and took them out to the patio. He set out a selection of crayons on each table. If orcs liked to draw, maybe other people did too. While they werequaffing an ale, and maybe munching on some pretzelboy pretzels, they would like to use the crayons. Jake grinned just a little. Maybe people would even draw out some of their fighting tricks when they were explaining them to their friends. Drawings Jake could look at later to see how to beat them. The orc chuckled to himself. He was liking this idea more and more.______________________________________________Don't forget to check out the Red Orc Brewery! Proud to be a sponsor of the Outback's Tag-Team Dueling!
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Crayons & Fountain Pens
Date: 9/26/1997 3:14 AM Central Standard Time
From: IainMacKnz
It was too difficult some days.Iain MacKenzie was never one to avoid rushing headlong into something which, while on the surface seemed like a great idea that could be implemented with little effort, never failed to turn into a huge headache. Luckily, his marriage wasn't in this state, but that was about all he could say that about.One evening, after yet another long battle with RTDL statistics, sheafs of papers questioning rulings, and - worst of all - a brewing controversy within a team - he finally threw his hands up, walked out of his office, kissed Luthien, and declared that he was going for a long walk.So it was that he happened to be passing down the street, and paused to see a sign swinging in the breeze.The Red Orc Brewery.He tilted his head slightly, pondering an offhand comment Jake had made on one of those rare occasions when they bumped into one another. With a firm nod to himself, he turned, and peeked in the window. His luck was with him, as he saw the orc leaning on the bar, a rag in one hand and that hopelessly contemplative look on his face... the one he got when he tried to think. Iain tried not to let the thought that the orc must be in pain crosshis mind, but failed. Still, there was that slight business matter to discuss, and besides... he rather enjoyed his occasional simple, yet oddly revealing, conversations with the orc. He shrugged to himself, and reached for the door, cracking it open."Hey, Jake. You open, or are you sleeping standing up?"
From: IainMacKnz
It was too difficult some days.Iain MacKenzie was never one to avoid rushing headlong into something which, while on the surface seemed like a great idea that could be implemented with little effort, never failed to turn into a huge headache. Luckily, his marriage wasn't in this state, but that was about all he could say that about.One evening, after yet another long battle with RTDL statistics, sheafs of papers questioning rulings, and - worst of all - a brewing controversy within a team - he finally threw his hands up, walked out of his office, kissed Luthien, and declared that he was going for a long walk.So it was that he happened to be passing down the street, and paused to see a sign swinging in the breeze.The Red Orc Brewery.He tilted his head slightly, pondering an offhand comment Jake had made on one of those rare occasions when they bumped into one another. With a firm nod to himself, he turned, and peeked in the window. His luck was with him, as he saw the orc leaning on the bar, a rag in one hand and that hopelessly contemplative look on his face... the one he got when he tried to think. Iain tried not to let the thought that the orc must be in pain crosshis mind, but failed. Still, there was that slight business matter to discuss, and besides... he rather enjoyed his occasional simple, yet oddly revealing, conversations with the orc. He shrugged to himself, and reached for the door, cracking it open."Hey, Jake. You open, or are you sleeping standing up?"