From: dukeuziei@aol.com (Duke UzieI)
Date: 13 Oct 1998 18:04:28 EDT
Patrons,
Of late, otherwise, nearly every occurance that I take the chance to speak, I have been attacked, slandered, verbally abused and/or patronized.
I am rather tired of it and will now set the records straight, as I meant it. And, I hope, attempt to at least be treated as what I am, a respectable member of the dueling community.
Months ago, I was called back into the realm by one who would call me friend. In fact several. They wished me to return to aid them in their struggle within House Questrion from the disagreements in policy that had arisen within that House. And wherein that grouping it arose that I challenged Moralitor the Black for possession of the Seventh Ring, which was at that time Renegade and in the hands of a man that served King Valmion,
erstwhile King Valmion and I had had our disagreements, thusly that challenge was inflamed by our dislike of each other, and Moralitors own dislike for me. The posts from that event were so violently despiteful that they unto themselves burst into flames upon these very boards....never to be seen again. That was to be expected...it was, at that time, a great amount of hatred within me for Questrion. And my actions there are not something I recall
with great pride. I fought like a cornered and wounded beast, viciously and with great hatred, lashing out at that which was attacking me with little care for deed or action.
Upon the challenge date, Moralitor the Black and I faced each other across the Battlefield, the patronage was sparse, as there were far more important things to be decided that eve, in the form of a Warlords Tourney. The match was heated, and skillful on both parts. But in the end I wrested the Seventh from Moralitor and declared myself loyal to a friend, Dalamar Ar'Daumon. And soon after the black mage and his counterparts left the
realms for a time.......a shallow victory that I did not feel the effects of immediately.
After facing Var DeMedici and then the General Perrinis Alabaster in two well fought matches, I faced a challenge from Lord Kalamere Ar'Din in a match that still causes me to question myself to this date. Kalameres challenge to me was not so much in the way of a challenge to me, but a challenge to the Overlord and his policy of Tests of Worthiness, and other than a few hasteful words it was honorable in nature, though I never
understood how the Seventh would somehow be more useful against the Overlord in Kalameres hands than a brace of peer wins and a well written challenge would have been. At the time...due to my friendship with Dalamar and my feelings about the political nature of the challenge itself, I opted to let Dalamar interceed for me, a decision many Barons have made before...though I cannot see how they live with the decision. It was, and still is what I
consider the worst decision I have made while within this realm and there is little I can do for it now but state my own disgust with it.
After Kalamere, Ellisa Morgan issued me challenge, having returned from some unknown hiatus with an almost immediate need for the Seventh Ring, something I felt a bit odd...but thats of little matter really. The challenge was honorable. And there was absolutely no ill feeling on any part that I knew of. It went quickly and was over just as quickly.
There was a long pause after that, a collective intake of breath. And I relaxed somewhat. Settling into the title. But....as to my nature....I grew restless. I felt the need for something....I wasn't sure what. I felt at the time a challenge would ease that....and declared myself renegade to the crown, but only on the technicality that a renengade could recieve a que of challenges and a loyal could not. I had no ill will towards Dalamar
and stated that very plainly. It was, at best, grumblingly accepted by the patronage. I understood this, if lamented it. But I could see why people would feel it wrong.
And so the days passed, seven of them to be exact. I was somewhat perplexed at the lack of acceptance to my open challenge to the Warlord community. And I had for quite some time pondered the thought of challenging for the Crown. I had pledged to myself before my change of alignment that I would not raise my blade against Dalamar and would challenge his antecessor. But, Dalamar as I have stated before mayhaps might be the greatest
Overlord of all time. At least in reign. And he had fielded challenges from friends before in a respectable fashion. I felt at the time that no other could offer me the challenge I wished to face for the Crown other than Dalamar. And when I challenged him....I did it respectfully, in challenge of my own abilities.....and out of admiration for his.
Something though, within that challenge went terribly wrong. From the beginning not even hours after I had posted the destruction began. Members of the community and even spirits of duelers long dead and in their crypts rose up to decry and foul my challenge. None seeing the challenge as I intended it, in fun and competition. It was...heartbreaking. Then finally.....after several days Dalamar himself responded to it...and I was nearly
destroyed, he espoused and cemented everything that I did not wish the challenge to be or to be seen as. He turned his back on me, calling me honorless and a speaker of mistruths. And thusly from there, nearly the entire community went looking for a stout tree to hang me from.
My soul was lost there, friends abandoned me, people reviled me. That wasn't my intent....it wasn't what I wanted. What I had intended was a quick best of three with a friend that everyone could enjoy and have fun with, and win or lose, sit back and have a few drinks after and enjoy ourselves. I became lost in the hatred, the evil of it becoming my soul, the negativity of it all pushing the real me deep inside where it could not feel
the pain anymore. The being I was at that time.....was not something I ever wish to see in myself again.
The match between Dalamar and I was most possibly one of the greatest matches I've had in possibly my entire time within this realm. And had the entire ordeal been one of less negativity...it might have been something I truly enjoyed. I lost it by a slim margin in the high rounds. But at the time I was happy to have at least had it. And mentally exhausted from the entire ordeal of a few weeks time.....I marched straight into the ring
with my challenger at that time, General Perrinis, at which time I summarily and quite solidly was defeated.
I bring this all to back up to reinforce the fact that I do not wish to be misunderstood. Had Dalamar not rejected my friendship....I would be his friend still unto this day. I do not ask that you believe I am right....I merely ask for understanding and tolerance. And the chance to participate within this community once again with out all the name callers and petty individuals with personal grudges taking out their frustration on me
at any given opportunity. Lord Ar'Din calls me hypocrite and a liar, though he himself changes his stance and views given the situations. Mr. Troyn makes somewhat literally intelligable attempts to belittle and patronize me though he does not know me from Adam other than mayhaps a duel or two we have fought. And for some reason the serving boys are even looking at me funny.
I am tired of it, bone tired, exhausted of it to my very marrow. I ask for it to end. I did nothing that no other has done before, whether Baron or Warlord. And I ask that what I did been seen as it was intended...not as it has been construed. I have no intention of leaving this realm. In fact I will mayhaps possibly outlive many of you and see your children go on to rule within this sport. Which is something I look forward to
with a smile. I love this sport, I love the Arena and all that comes with it, there is not a day that passes that I do not frequent it in some way, and I wish for the hatred and the despite to end.
This is my request to you, I submit it humbly and honestly.
~Adonai Uziel
~DragonLord of RhyDin
~Warlord and Once Baron of the Duels
A Petition for Vindication
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From: agrenish@aol.com (Agrenish)
Date: 13 Oct 1998 20:03:09 EDT
Is it just me, or does his whining get boring around the third paragragh?
'I am Adonai, Hear Me Pout!'
Get a life kid, your skills stink, your blathering goes no where and you're pathetic. Have a merry cheery day!
Agrenish Preescott
~Confedence is strength and I am God.~
~It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him~
Date: 13 Oct 1998 20:03:09 EDT
Is it just me, or does his whining get boring around the third paragragh?
'I am Adonai, Hear Me Pout!'
Get a life kid, your skills stink, your blathering goes no where and you're pathetic. Have a merry cheery day!
Agrenish Preescott
~Confedence is strength and I am God.~
~It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him~
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From: drakewyni@aol.com (Drakewyn I)
Date: 13 Oct 1998 21:58:10 EDT
Adonai...
Carry yourself with honor, and respect... then you will gain forgiveness.
That is all I have to say.
Lady Drake, aka the Gryphon
Date: 13 Oct 1998 21:58:10 EDT
Adonai...
Carry yourself with honor, and respect... then you will gain forgiveness.
That is all I have to say.
Lady Drake, aka the Gryphon
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From: prlunicorn@aol.com (PrlUnicorn)
Date: 13 Oct 1998 23:04:17 EDT
>Get a life kid, your skills stink, your blathering goes no where and you're
>pathetic. Have a merry cheery day!
::scratches out Dear Anguish::
Agrenish?
Are you and Jesse twins seperated at birth? You seem like such kindred spirits.
Colleen MacLeod-Lasher
Date: 13 Oct 1998 23:04:17 EDT
>Get a life kid, your skills stink, your blathering goes no where and you're
>pathetic. Have a merry cheery day!
::scratches out Dear Anguish::
Agrenish?
Are you and Jesse twins seperated at birth? You seem like such kindred spirits.
Colleen MacLeod-Lasher
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From: noellemg@aol.com (Noelle MG)
Date: 14 Oct 1998 02:27:09 EDT
Tis a rare occasion when I disagree with Lady Drake. I humbly do so now. I've never doubted Lord Uziel to be other than honorable. And while I may not always agree with views expressed by m'lord Uziel, I respect a man secure in stating his opinions and admire any man who possesses a fine mind.
Respectfully,
Lady Noelle Medici-Giovanni
Date: 14 Oct 1998 02:27:09 EDT
Tis a rare occasion when I disagree with Lady Drake. I humbly do so now. I've never doubted Lord Uziel to be other than honorable. And while I may not always agree with views expressed by m'lord Uziel, I respect a man secure in stating his opinions and admire any man who possesses a fine mind.
Respectfully,
Lady Noelle Medici-Giovanni
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From: gimmzak@aol.com (Gimmzak)
Date: 14 Oct 1998 07:49:32 EDT
People may say what they will, I have long sat and watched slander thrown one way or another, I have even taken part in it. One thing I do know however...
It takes a big man to admit his mistakes and come before people who have been openly critical, and sometimes downright nasty, and lay it all on the line.
Gimzak Stonecutter
Date: 14 Oct 1998 07:49:32 EDT
People may say what they will, I have long sat and watched slander thrown one way or another, I have even taken part in it. One thing I do know however...
It takes a big man to admit his mistakes and come before people who have been openly critical, and sometimes downright nasty, and lay it all on the line.
Gimzak Stonecutter
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From: waikrboh@aol.com (WaIkrBoh)
Date: 14 Oct 1998 11:37:20 EDT
If there is something I can say about you, Adonai, is that I believe you have always stood by your convictions, whatever they may be. The problem is, there are people in this world that see certain changes in conviction as dishonorable. And there are many things you have done that I myself disagree with. However, I have glad that you are able to stand back up in face of all this contraversy and ask for "vindication".
But I would think that before any of us give it to you, you will have to show a sincere change in character.
I remember you from the days in which you were not a Warlord, and a very different man you were then. After *both* of your returns from wherever you went, you have come back differently. It would please me to see the Adonai of old in the rings once again, although I have severe doubts to its feasibility.
-Walker Boh
Baron of the 12th
Date: 14 Oct 1998 11:37:20 EDT
If there is something I can say about you, Adonai, is that I believe you have always stood by your convictions, whatever they may be. The problem is, there are people in this world that see certain changes in conviction as dishonorable. And there are many things you have done that I myself disagree with. However, I have glad that you are able to stand back up in face of all this contraversy and ask for "vindication".
But I would think that before any of us give it to you, you will have to show a sincere change in character.
I remember you from the days in which you were not a Warlord, and a very different man you were then. After *both* of your returns from wherever you went, you have come back differently. It would please me to see the Adonai of old in the rings once again, although I have severe doubts to its feasibility.
-Walker Boh
Baron of the 12th
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From: dukeuziei@aol.com (Duke UzieI)
Date: 14 Oct 1998 13:24:36 EDT
Walker, and others,
I did not post this in attempts to gain your forgiveness. Forgiveness is not what I ask for and also what I do not believe I need.
I have done what I have done because that was what was true to me. To ask forgiveness for it would be the highest of hypocrisy, and I do not ask that.
Vindication, as it were, is not asking for forgiveness, it is asking for the truths to be known and the slanders to come to an end.
I am well aware of my mistakes in the past, but to me they need no forgiveness, only the tolerance and understanding any honorable person would give to another. It has been stated here many times that we all do not expect everyone to be the same, believe the same, and act in concurrent fashion. Then apply this philosophy with me. I am not an evil man, I am not a dishonorable man. I am a man of my own mind and am willing to stand
by my right to be so til my last breath escapes my lips.
What I wish from this posting is a return of the respect that we had for each other. At one time this entire community was at least nominally friends, there was respect for all in the sport. Now everything is fractured into groupings, and the lack of respect between them all, not just towards me, is horrifying.
I have here extended my hand in an offer of understanding. Not a plea for forgiveness, not begging for the patronage to love me. You do not have to love me, nor agree with me. But to understand that I am my own man....and to respect me for that alone if you cannot for anything else.
My offer is simple...there are those that were my friends....I say they still are mine. And I will not hate them or hurt them for difference in views. This is the man I am.
And yes.....over time I have changed, that is the nature of fluid things, to change...to adapt and grow wiser from deeper understandings. I will never be the man I was in days of old. The hotheaded, living with his sword half drawn man I was is no more, he is long gone and buried. The man I am today may not of course be the man I am tommorrow...I move with the world...and adapt my views and beliefs to it on a daily basis. But
honor is not forgotten of me, and the conviction to stand by my beliefs has not deserted me either.
For some, they might believe I need forgiveness...and that the things I have done are treacherous and dishonorable. These are things that come from people living their lives the way they believe to be best for them, and I do not belittle them for it. But for me, I have done nothing none before me has not. And I wish the rhetoric and disrespect to end.
My thanks for allowing me further explanation.
~Adonai Uziel
~DragonLord of RhyDin
~Warlord and Once Baron of the Duels
Date: 14 Oct 1998 13:24:36 EDT
Walker, and others,
I did not post this in attempts to gain your forgiveness. Forgiveness is not what I ask for and also what I do not believe I need.
I have done what I have done because that was what was true to me. To ask forgiveness for it would be the highest of hypocrisy, and I do not ask that.
Vindication, as it were, is not asking for forgiveness, it is asking for the truths to be known and the slanders to come to an end.
I am well aware of my mistakes in the past, but to me they need no forgiveness, only the tolerance and understanding any honorable person would give to another. It has been stated here many times that we all do not expect everyone to be the same, believe the same, and act in concurrent fashion. Then apply this philosophy with me. I am not an evil man, I am not a dishonorable man. I am a man of my own mind and am willing to stand
by my right to be so til my last breath escapes my lips.
What I wish from this posting is a return of the respect that we had for each other. At one time this entire community was at least nominally friends, there was respect for all in the sport. Now everything is fractured into groupings, and the lack of respect between them all, not just towards me, is horrifying.
I have here extended my hand in an offer of understanding. Not a plea for forgiveness, not begging for the patronage to love me. You do not have to love me, nor agree with me. But to understand that I am my own man....and to respect me for that alone if you cannot for anything else.
My offer is simple...there are those that were my friends....I say they still are mine. And I will not hate them or hurt them for difference in views. This is the man I am.
And yes.....over time I have changed, that is the nature of fluid things, to change...to adapt and grow wiser from deeper understandings. I will never be the man I was in days of old. The hotheaded, living with his sword half drawn man I was is no more, he is long gone and buried. The man I am today may not of course be the man I am tommorrow...I move with the world...and adapt my views and beliefs to it on a daily basis. But
honor is not forgotten of me, and the conviction to stand by my beliefs has not deserted me either.
For some, they might believe I need forgiveness...and that the things I have done are treacherous and dishonorable. These are things that come from people living their lives the way they believe to be best for them, and I do not belittle them for it. But for me, I have done nothing none before me has not. And I wish the rhetoric and disrespect to end.
My thanks for allowing me further explanation.
~Adonai Uziel
~DragonLord of RhyDin
~Warlord and Once Baron of the Duels
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From: drakewyni@aol.com (Drakewyn I)
Date: 14 Oct 1998 21:04:10 EDT
M'Lord Adonai...
Honor is given, honor is accepted, and honor is returned.
When friendship is offered, friendship will be accepted and friendship will be returned.
As it always has been, neh?
Lady Drake, aka the Gryphon
Date: 14 Oct 1998 21:04:10 EDT
M'Lord Adonai...
Honor is given, honor is accepted, and honor is returned.
When friendship is offered, friendship will be accepted and friendship will be returned.
As it always has been, neh?
Lady Drake, aka the Gryphon
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From: rlupton@aol.com (RLupton)
Date: 14 Oct 1998 21:19:08 EDT
"...and adapt my views and beliefs to it on a daily basis. But honor is not forgotten of me, and the conviction to stand by my beliefs has not deserted me either."
Standing by constantly shifting beliefs is hardly a chore or something I'd base great respect from.
~Lup
Date: 14 Oct 1998 21:19:08 EDT
"...and adapt my views and beliefs to it on a daily basis. But honor is not forgotten of me, and the conviction to stand by my beliefs has not deserted me either."
Standing by constantly shifting beliefs is hardly a chore or something I'd base great respect from.
~Lup
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From: jonalyn@aol.com (Jonalyn)
Date: 15 Oct 1998 00:24:06 EDT
Glances up seeing a winged porcine creature float past, snags the quill, pens a note.
Lup,
Well said.
Jona.
Tucks in her tail and horns as Marcus giggles. (s)Hush wee one, tis a secret ye know.
Date: 15 Oct 1998 00:24:06 EDT
Glances up seeing a winged porcine creature float past, snags the quill, pens a note.
Lup,
Well said.
Jona.
Tucks in her tail and horns as Marcus giggles. (s)Hush wee one, tis a secret ye know.
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From: dukeuziei@aol.com (Duke UzieI)
Date: 15 Oct 1998 14:54:03 EDT
M'Lord Lupton,
I believe you misunderstood my meaning there. But tis of little matter, many often do. Tis not my beliefs that are constantly shifting. It is my beliefs that are constantly adapting to a shifting world.
So mayhaps if you read it again with this small explanation it will make greater sense.
~Adonai
Date: 15 Oct 1998 14:54:03 EDT
M'Lord Lupton,
I believe you misunderstood my meaning there. But tis of little matter, many often do. Tis not my beliefs that are constantly shifting. It is my beliefs that are constantly adapting to a shifting world.
So mayhaps if you read it again with this small explanation it will make greater sense.
~Adonai