The Problem with Men (Eldy)

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:04 pm

From: ldyxeldrmr@aol.com (LdyxEldrmr)
Date: 12 May 1999 21:23:20 EDT

(Author's Note: I do my posts like novels....I save the double colons for chat rooms and IMs =P)

Eldy was past the point of ticked. It seemed lately that all her problems stemmed from men. Not her husband, mind you, but her male friends. She decided that her upbringing in the UnderDark had been right -- Men had to be the most infuriating, inconsiderate, pig-headed....

She sighed and plopped down hard in her chair at her desk, accomplishing nothing from that lil action other than to bruise her arse. Muttering softly to herself, she decided to pen a little poem - writing sometimes helped. And, if not, she could always hit the Annex tonight.

The quill scritch-scratched along the parchment and she waved it impatiently, waiting for the ink to dry, then rolled it up and headed to the cork boards. Opening it up and reading it once more, she smirked softly to herself and pinned it up on the board, figuring that the pale mauve ink would advise of the author...

The Perfect Man...

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean.
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father
And a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too.
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his love to you.

The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name.
He's a best friend to your mother
And will kiss away your pain.

He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in anyway
To hell with this endless poem....
The perfect man is gay!

(Author's Post Script: Before anyone screams...one of my best friends is a gay male and he loved it!)

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:04 pm

From: methous45@aol.com (Methous45)
Date: 12 May 1999 21:41:06 EDT

::Is all but speechless::

I think you need to stop smoking that wacky-tobaccy.

Meth

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:04 pm

From: gnrtdrgoon@aol.com (GnrtDrgoon)
Date: 12 May 1999 22:03:27 EDT

I happened to be offended by this.

I hate you.

G'nort Espelande G'neesmacher Dragoon Talanador

Head of House Dragoon Talanador

Thrice Baron of the DoS

"When I left you, I was but the learner, now I am the master"

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:04 pm

From: antidueler@aol.com (Antidueler)
Date: 12 May 1999 23:07:16 EDT

The author scribbles.

It's good to know that at least a perfect man exists, 'cause there sure as hell isn't such a thing as a perfect woman.

AB

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:05 pm

From: ldyxeldrmr@aol.com (LdyxEldrmr)
Date: 12 May 1999 23:20:38 EDT

>
>::Is all but speechless::
>
>I think you need to stop smoking that wacky-tobaccy.
>
>Meth

::grins and just points to Meth as a *perfect* example::

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:05 pm

From: ldyxeldrmr@aol.com (LdyxEldrmr)
Date: 12 May 1999 23:21:36 EDT

>
> I happened to be offended by this.
>
>
>I hate you.
>
>G'nort Espelande G'neesmacher Dragoon Talanador

::snickers and secretly rejoices::Ohhh...I'm SAE sorry, G...::not looking it all::

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:05 pm

From: occurs@aol.com (Occurs)
Date: 13 May 1999 00:50:23 EDT

I married one o' those.

S

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:05 pm

From: rixfavre@aol.com (Rix Favre)
Date: 13 May 1999 01:01:15 EDT

Jeff is gay?

I had no idea . . .

-Rix

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:05 pm

From: drakewyni@aol.com (Drakewyn I)
Date: 13 May 1999 03:22:02 EDT

Simply...

The perfect man... is not a man at all.

::Leaving the post unsigned, her handwriting distinctive enough that most will recognize it.::

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:06 pm

From: eagleecore@aol.com (EagleEcore)
Date: 13 May 1999 04:53:19 EDT

I was once the pefect man, and then the woman broke my heart, so now I am just the bitter man.

~Ecore

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:06 pm

From: casmaxim@aol.com (Cas Maxim)
Date: 13 May 1999 06:19:49 EDT

::Recongizes the handwriting all right....he just....smirks.::::

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:06 pm

From: joaknshld@aol.com (J Oaknshld)
Date: 13 May 1999 05:35:44 EDT

Shockin' huh Rix?

~J

::gets a good chuckle and goes home to find his wife and kids::

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:06 pm

From: occurs@aol.com (Occurs)
Date: 13 May 1999 11:27:21 EDT

Rix,

Aye, me husband be ta happiest man I know. He done always make me laugh.

Summer

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:07 pm

From: seregill@aol.com (Seregill)
Date: 13 May 1999 15:11:58 EDT

::Reading on his way through, has to chuckle::

(m) I protest.... I do NOT vacumn.

::Shakes his head, not leaving any message behind.::

DoS Archive · Post by **DoS Archive** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:07 pm

From: jade4634@aol.com (Jade 4634)
Date: 13 May 1999 15:22:29 EDT

::reads all the posts in the subject, thinks of how she thought she lost the perfect man, and walks away smiling::

*~Lady Jade~*