From: peerwyn@aol.com (Peerwyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 01:12:08 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, patrons of the community:
It is after extensive deliberation on the disparate facts of this case that I render my final ruling to the community.
It is no surprise to anyone by this point that an individual has claimed a universally-known rank for himself without basis or right, and that said individual has assumed the privileges of that rank with startling rapidity and with minimal opposition. This cannot be permitted.
To put it simply, Sergeant Sneggle promoted himself from the rank of Private. No commissioned officer was present, nor was any record furnished that proper procedure was followed. Pursuant to these rather shocking revelations, Sergeant Sneggle is hereby demoted to Private and is remanded to a field court martial to be tried for insubordination.
As Private Sneggle has not to date demonstrated which, if any, ranking commissioned officer claims the Private as a member of his or her unit, an acting Second Lieutenant shall be commissioned temporarily to preside at the field court martial.
I have proposed, seconded and accepted Avery Shiv Blade, Overlord of the Duel of Swords, and hereby confer upon him the acting rank of Second Lieutenant of the Yerfer Infantry.
The acting Second Lieutenant shall immediately be called upon to convene the field court martial and prosecute the serious offense of which Private Sneggle stands accused.
I shall await the acting Second Lieutenant's report on this weighty matter with great anticipation. Pursuant to long-established precedent, he has 43 minutes to render his judgement.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
Ruling: Improperly Assumed Rank
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From: drakewhine@aol.com (Drakewhine)
Date: 29 May 2000 01:36:27 EDT
Starfar... I mean Sneggle.
Do be so kind as to list the name of the official that validated your rise in rank. The last I checked no new ranks were given out without my express permission, it's in the rules, you just have to read them rightly.
Truely, your overweening pride, Private, has cast a foul shadow on this honored sport.
Drakewhine,
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 01:36:27 EDT
Starfar... I mean Sneggle.
Do be so kind as to list the name of the official that validated your rise in rank. The last I checked no new ranks were given out without my express permission, it's in the rules, you just have to read them rightly.
Truely, your overweening pride, Private, has cast a foul shadow on this honored sport.
Drakewhine,
The Fake One
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From: peerwyn@aol.com (Peerwyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 01:56:24 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, duelists of the sacred sport:
It has been brought to my attention that Avery Shiv Blade, acting Second Lieutenant of the Yerfer Infantry and presiding officer at the field court martial of Private Sneggle, has been confirmed absent without leave.
In recognition of his gross negligence and failure to hold the community and his duty in proper regard, acting Second Lieutenant Avery Shiv Blade is hereby remanded to the very same field court martial to be tried for dereliction of duty and absence without leave (AWOL).
Precedent dictates that the judgement on this dual court martial must be rendered by a former Overlord, Baron, Champion and sport Official.
As a result, after lengthy deliberation, I hereby order that Siera Redwin be exhumed and brought before me to chair the field court martial and render summary judgement upon these two disgraceful would-be gentlemen.
The remains must be brought before me no later than the 29th of May at high noon (five minutes to one o'clock) by the Eastern clock.
Be advised that I regard this matter with the highest respect and seriousness, and shall apply every power of deduction and induction to see it through to my own satisfaction.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 01:56:24 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, duelists of the sacred sport:
It has been brought to my attention that Avery Shiv Blade, acting Second Lieutenant of the Yerfer Infantry and presiding officer at the field court martial of Private Sneggle, has been confirmed absent without leave.
In recognition of his gross negligence and failure to hold the community and his duty in proper regard, acting Second Lieutenant Avery Shiv Blade is hereby remanded to the very same field court martial to be tried for dereliction of duty and absence without leave (AWOL).
Precedent dictates that the judgement on this dual court martial must be rendered by a former Overlord, Baron, Champion and sport Official.
As a result, after lengthy deliberation, I hereby order that Siera Redwin be exhumed and brought before me to chair the field court martial and render summary judgement upon these two disgraceful would-be gentlemen.
The remains must be brought before me no later than the 29th of May at high noon (five minutes to one o'clock) by the Eastern clock.
Be advised that I regard this matter with the highest respect and seriousness, and shall apply every power of deduction and induction to see it through to my own satisfaction.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
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From: flakewyni@aol.com (Flakewyn I)
Date: 29 May 2000 11:16:45 EDT
To the Community,
Due to their importance to the sport, I have placed tracing spells on each of the Overlords. This made the remains of the Lady Redwin very easy to find. Using my massively powerful magics, I then attempted to summon those remains to my estate and was aghast to find that she had been cremated!
My interpretation of the rules makes it very clear that all female Overlords are to be mummified at death, not cremated. Those of you responsible for this will eventually be located, I have spells in the works as we speak, and when we do find you, you will be remanded to the rank of Swordsman. I had thought to make it commoner, but because I am certain that it was Starfare's influence over you that brought you to commit this crime against the
sport, I won't impose that great a penalty.
Lady Flake
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 11:16:45 EDT
To the Community,
Due to their importance to the sport, I have placed tracing spells on each of the Overlords. This made the remains of the Lady Redwin very easy to find. Using my massively powerful magics, I then attempted to summon those remains to my estate and was aghast to find that she had been cremated!
My interpretation of the rules makes it very clear that all female Overlords are to be mummified at death, not cremated. Those of you responsible for this will eventually be located, I have spells in the works as we speak, and when we do find you, you will be remanded to the rank of Swordsman. I had thought to make it commoner, but because I am certain that it was Starfare's influence over you that brought you to commit this crime against the
sport, I won't impose that great a penalty.
Lady Flake
The Fake One
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From: peerwyn@aol.com (Peerwyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 13:02:22 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, scholars of the sweet science:
In light of former Overlord, Baron, Champion and Official Redwin's less-than-corporeal state, it falls to me to seek an even higher authority to preside at the field court martial of Private Sneggle and acting Second Lieutenant Avery Shiv Blade.
Despite the long hours and rigorous historical research that it required, I have finally come to a conclusion that I am confident shall both satisfy me and provide an august personage to render judgement on the would-be gentlemen.
It is my ruling that Darian Redwin, heir to Siera Redwin's lands and titles, is hereby appointed to the rank of Duke. Duke Redwin shall forthwith be called upon to preside at the field court martial we have all waited so long to finally be done with.
Naturally, his rank carries with it the traditional perquisites of Duchy, including the right to realign Barons from Loyal to Renegade and the right to promote Commoners to Swordsmen through the ceremony of knighting.
This ruling is final and binding upon all parties everywhere.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 13:02:22 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, scholars of the sweet science:
In light of former Overlord, Baron, Champion and Official Redwin's less-than-corporeal state, it falls to me to seek an even higher authority to preside at the field court martial of Private Sneggle and acting Second Lieutenant Avery Shiv Blade.
Despite the long hours and rigorous historical research that it required, I have finally come to a conclusion that I am confident shall both satisfy me and provide an august personage to render judgement on the would-be gentlemen.
It is my ruling that Darian Redwin, heir to Siera Redwin's lands and titles, is hereby appointed to the rank of Duke. Duke Redwin shall forthwith be called upon to preside at the field court martial we have all waited so long to finally be done with.
Naturally, his rank carries with it the traditional perquisites of Duchy, including the right to realign Barons from Loyal to Renegade and the right to promote Commoners to Swordsmen through the ceremony of knighting.
This ruling is final and binding upon all parties everywhere.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
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From: snakewyn@aol.com (Snakewyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 15:02:05 EDT
Concerned Patrons,
After exhastive research, I have determined that the ruling naming Darian Redwin as Duke is improper, as I cannot find any proof in my mountains of historical evidence that Darian Redwin was ever officially named as Siera Redwin's heir. Regardless of what certain parties such as Starfare might actually remember seeing with their own eyes, no evidence exists.
Furthermore, by rights, Siera Redwin's husband, Peter Blackthorne, aka Nomad the Pirate, should be her heir. I know that if someone gave my rights to some imposter rather than my loving husband after I died, I'd be quite upset.
Snakewyn
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 15:02:05 EDT
Concerned Patrons,
After exhastive research, I have determined that the ruling naming Darian Redwin as Duke is improper, as I cannot find any proof in my mountains of historical evidence that Darian Redwin was ever officially named as Siera Redwin's heir. Regardless of what certain parties such as Starfare might actually remember seeing with their own eyes, no evidence exists.
Furthermore, by rights, Siera Redwin's husband, Peter Blackthorne, aka Nomad the Pirate, should be her heir. I know that if someone gave my rights to some imposter rather than my loving husband after I died, I'd be quite upset.
Snakewyn
The Fake One
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From: peerwyn@aol.com (Peerwyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 17:39:05 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, gourmands of our sporting feast,
As Darian's "inheritance" of the lands and title of the late Siera Redwin is now in doubt, I find myself forced to request evidence that might support my original ruling.
If anyone other than Starfare or MacKenzie has logs or firsthand knowledge of this having occurred, please contact me immediately so that we may expedite the closing of this dark, dark chapter of the dueling histories.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 17:39:05 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, gourmands of our sporting feast,
As Darian's "inheritance" of the lands and title of the late Siera Redwin is now in doubt, I find myself forced to request evidence that might support my original ruling.
If anyone other than Starfare or MacKenzie has logs or firsthand knowledge of this having occurred, please contact me immediately so that we may expedite the closing of this dark, dark chapter of the dueling histories.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
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From: drakewhine@aol.com (Drakewhine)
Date: 29 May 2000 18:05:33 EDT
Starfar... I mean Snakewyn.
I have seen with my own eyes the post not just 24 hours old that proves that Darian Redwin was indeed the official Siera Redwin heir.
Maybe you are too sensib... I mean dense to understand Common? Perhaps.
More than likely Darian was insulted by your implications and has destroyed all public records and until you can show me where there is no piles of ashes, I think you all ought to write;
I am not Peerwyn.
one hundred times on these ancient corkboards.
Drakewhine,
the fake one
Date: 29 May 2000 18:05:33 EDT
Starfar... I mean Snakewyn.
I have seen with my own eyes the post not just 24 hours old that proves that Darian Redwin was indeed the official Siera Redwin heir.
Maybe you are too sensib... I mean dense to understand Common? Perhaps.
More than likely Darian was insulted by your implications and has destroyed all public records and until you can show me where there is no piles of ashes, I think you all ought to write;
I am not Peerwyn.
one hundred times on these ancient corkboards.
Drakewhine,
the fake one
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From: ianmackenzie@aol.com (Ian MacKenzie)
Date: 29 May 2000 18:12:07 EDT
"I think you all ought to write;
I am not Peerwyn.
one hundred times on these ancient corkboards."
Now they're stealing my material. Stop it, I say, stop it!
Regards,
Ian Rex
Date: 29 May 2000 18:12:07 EDT
"I think you all ought to write;
I am not Peerwyn.
one hundred times on these ancient corkboards."
Now they're stealing my material. Stop it, I say, stop it!
Regards,
Ian Rex
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From: peerwyn@aol.com (Peerwyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 18:43:28 EDT
Iain "The Fevered Brain" MacKenzie writes:
>Now they're stealing my material. Stop it, I say, stop it!
Do not tempt me to focus my considerable attention span upon *your* transgressions, Laird MacKenzie... You know full well of what I speak.
You were intimately involved with Starfare for a time, and I shall not soon forget such horrific depravity.
Be warned... That matter, substantiated by concrete evidence, is alone sufficient to see you demoted to Viscount.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
Date: 29 May 2000 18:43:28 EDT
Iain "The Fevered Brain" MacKenzie writes:
>Now they're stealing my material. Stop it, I say, stop it!
Do not tempt me to focus my considerable attention span upon *your* transgressions, Laird MacKenzie... You know full well of what I speak.
You were intimately involved with Starfare for a time, and I shall not soon forget such horrific depravity.
Be warned... That matter, substantiated by concrete evidence, is alone sufficient to see you demoted to Viscount.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
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From: verceterixfavre@aol.com (Verceterix Favre)
Date: 29 May 2000 19:07:17 EDT
Hey, could I have my rank put back to Master at Arms? I think I was dueling better back then than I am now. If not, that's okay. I'll just claim the title of "Supreme Fighting Machine."
-Rix
Date: 29 May 2000 19:07:17 EDT
Hey, could I have my rank put back to Master at Arms? I think I was dueling better back then than I am now. If not, that's okay. I'll just claim the title of "Supreme Fighting Machine."
-Rix
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From: blamewyn@aol.com (Blamewyn)
Date: 29 May 2000 20:33:15 EDT
"Now they're stealing my material. Stop it, I say, stop it!"
Ian, obviously, this is all Jonalyn's fault. I told everyone this -ages- ago, but no one would listen to me. If there's anyone out there who doesn't have their nose firmly planted up Jonalyn's butt, we could put a stop to this foolishness and get on to dueling and I can continue making rulings.
::leaves a mess of golden rose petals all over the place::
Blamewyn, Lady Cryphony
the fake one
Date: 29 May 2000 20:33:15 EDT
"Now they're stealing my material. Stop it, I say, stop it!"
Ian, obviously, this is all Jonalyn's fault. I told everyone this -ages- ago, but no one would listen to me. If there's anyone out there who doesn't have their nose firmly planted up Jonalyn's butt, we could put a stop to this foolishness and get on to dueling and I can continue making rulings.
::leaves a mess of golden rose petals all over the place::
Blamewyn, Lady Cryphony
the fake one
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From: dosgoddess@aol.com (DoSGoddess)
Date: 30 May 2000 08:34:29 EDT
Oh, lookee Earl! ::Drags the God of Bad Taste over by the arm while scuffling along in delicate wing heeled sandals:: Another parodist! Seems the little people are getting bored again. Some days I swear, even a Goddess could just scratch her crotch and grunt. Ungh! Oh ::twittering laughter:: but then I'd be parodying you too!
Come along dearie. Let's go mock another forum with how much the place has evolved since the great rebellion. Maybe we can arrange a community spirited bean eating contest. I sense there's many here who'd like that. I know you would.:: affectionately patting his arm: with a meticulously manicured hand:: Heh-heh....and no, to the sparking bug zappers. Practical joke or not, the wards don't extend to...::silvery voice trailing off in excited
whispers as they take a left at the rainbow::
Date: 30 May 2000 08:34:29 EDT
Oh, lookee Earl! ::Drags the God of Bad Taste over by the arm while scuffling along in delicate wing heeled sandals:: Another parodist! Seems the little people are getting bored again. Some days I swear, even a Goddess could just scratch her crotch and grunt. Ungh! Oh ::twittering laughter:: but then I'd be parodying you too!
Come along dearie. Let's go mock another forum with how much the place has evolved since the great rebellion. Maybe we can arrange a community spirited bean eating contest. I sense there's many here who'd like that. I know you would.:: affectionately patting his arm: with a meticulously manicured hand:: Heh-heh....and no, to the sparking bug zappers. Practical joke or not, the wards don't extend to...::silvery voice trailing off in excited
whispers as they take a left at the rainbow::
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From: jonaliarstarfart@aol.com (JonaliarStarfart)
Date: 30 May 2000 16:01:41 EDT
Och, Peerwyn,
Iffen och noose allen Och, dolt, sirrah, och, lach lor me auch lach, aye. Huma, Drake, Jacy, Gnortie poo an' poo nae poohbear, och, laddie, nee, aye. Och? Och.
::hiccups::
Iffen, lassie och laddie, aye, history, blah blah och och, nae yea, rings, honor.
::farts::
Och, ::blushes::
Nay, Sierra. Nay!!! Och, Sneggle, aye! Hubie, me scotch. Och, laddie.
Amused,
Jonaliar Starfart
Regent to every och in Rhydin
Mother of all Muthas
Queen of Ochs
Date: 30 May 2000 16:01:41 EDT
Och, Peerwyn,
Iffen och noose allen Och, dolt, sirrah, och, lach lor me auch lach, aye. Huma, Drake, Jacy, Gnortie poo an' poo nae poohbear, och, laddie, nee, aye. Och? Och.
::hiccups::
Iffen, lassie och laddie, aye, history, blah blah och och, nae yea, rings, honor.
::farts::
Och, ::blushes::
Nay, Sierra. Nay!!! Och, Sneggle, aye! Hubie, me scotch. Och, laddie.
Amused,
Jonaliar Starfart
Regent to every och in Rhydin
Mother of all Muthas
Queen of Ochs
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From: eatinmacncheese@aol.com (Eatin MacNcheese)
Date: 30 May 2000 16:15:10 EDT
I agree with Jonaliar even though I don't know what the hell she says half the time.
I am the DOS know-it-all and nobody but nobody is smarter than me. Nobody can have fun if I can't have fun and nobody can duel if I don't duel, which I don't, so why is everyone disobeying me?
Peerwyn, execute everyone in DOS that doesn't agree with me for I am right. And, I'm the Overlord now, I need a scotch.
Yes, execute all the Barons and everyone, unless they are of the old school. Yes, that's right, THEE old school. How I miss the honor of those days gone bye.
::sobs::
Regards,
Eatin T-Rex
God of DoS and Know-all Be-all
Date: 30 May 2000 16:15:10 EDT
I agree with Jonaliar even though I don't know what the hell she says half the time.
I am the DOS know-it-all and nobody but nobody is smarter than me. Nobody can have fun if I can't have fun and nobody can duel if I don't duel, which I don't, so why is everyone disobeying me?
Peerwyn, execute everyone in DOS that doesn't agree with me for I am right. And, I'm the Overlord now, I need a scotch.
Yes, execute all the Barons and everyone, unless they are of the old school. Yes, that's right, THEE old school. How I miss the honor of those days gone bye.
::sobs::
Regards,
Eatin T-Rex
God of DoS and Know-all Be-all