From: peerwyn@aol.com (Peerwyn)
Date: 30 May 2000 16:40:46 EDT
Patrons of the duels,
Eatin MacNcheese is hereby promoted to Grand Vizier. May that position permit him to find far more happy things to smoke.
Jonaliar Starfart is hereby promoted to Princess of Covington. A match made in Cygnet's Heaven.
These rulings are final and binding upon everyone, everywhere.
As to Siera Redwin's ashen remains... Please be advised that I am *not* taking bids for them, so please stop sending them in.
Peerwyn
The Fake One
Ruling: Improperly Assumed Rank
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From: gasmaxima@aol.com (Gas Maxima)
Date: 30 May 2000 16:45:36 EDT
Starfart...
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I forgot what I was going to say.
Gassius Caius Maximius
Loylla's wife.
Roman historian
The Donkey-ask Humanoid
"I am an annoying man, but to meet me is not a pleasant experience, if only for the pain"
Date: 30 May 2000 16:45:36 EDT
Starfart...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I forgot what I was going to say.
Gassius Caius Maximius
Loylla's wife.
Roman historian
The Donkey-ask Humanoid
"I am an annoying man, but to meet me is not a pleasant experience, if only for the pain"
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From: shadowgrump@aol.com (Shadowgrump)
Date: 30 May 2000 17:15:44 EDT
The old soldier tried to focus on the cork, as difficult as such task might be in his perpetually enebriated and punch-drunk state. Upon the dawning of realization that the presumptive standings keeper was making reference to his swordsister, he once again began to drown in the sea of memory...
Glassy eyes still staring at the parchment, he recalled those times when his swordsister and swordbrother would make him sit outside filling in endless boxes of crossword puzzles while they rutted like animals. His only job then was to see that their dalliance was kept a secret, mainly so that she could continue to snag unsuspecting Warlords on the side. There were so, so many of them.
Really, when it came down to it, who could say who her heir truly was, without concrete evidence? Indeed, perhaps all this trouble would have been averted if he'd simply slain her like the trollop she was, back when he had the power of the cursed Naginata.
He shook his head sadly and wandered away, completely forgetting the memory the moment he noticed a bottle of gin on the bar.
Date: 30 May 2000 17:15:44 EDT
The old soldier tried to focus on the cork, as difficult as such task might be in his perpetually enebriated and punch-drunk state. Upon the dawning of realization that the presumptive standings keeper was making reference to his swordsister, he once again began to drown in the sea of memory...
Glassy eyes still staring at the parchment, he recalled those times when his swordsister and swordbrother would make him sit outside filling in endless boxes of crossword puzzles while they rutted like animals. His only job then was to see that their dalliance was kept a secret, mainly so that she could continue to snag unsuspecting Warlords on the side. There were so, so many of them.
Really, when it came down to it, who could say who her heir truly was, without concrete evidence? Indeed, perhaps all this trouble would have been averted if he'd simply slain her like the trollop she was, back when he had the power of the cursed Naginata.
He shook his head sadly and wandered away, completely forgetting the memory the moment he noticed a bottle of gin on the bar.
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From: ianmackrazy@aol.com (Ian MacKrazy)
Date: 30 May 2000 17:21:25 EDT
"I have proposed, seconded and accepted Avery Shiv Blade, Overlord of the Duel of Swords, and hereby confer upon him the acting rank of Second Lieutenant of the Yerfer Infantry."
Oh, this is utterly ludicrous. Everyone knows that the Yerfer Infantry was utterly destroyed in the Battle of Tolkinarion, several years ago when New Caithness was at war with some clearly inferior power.
How can we expect you to offer proper rulings when you can't even remember these simple bits of history that anyone who was paying the slightest bit of attention remembers quite clearly?
Good lord. I still can't believe that I threatened Helix into hiring you.
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
Date: 30 May 2000 17:21:25 EDT
"I have proposed, seconded and accepted Avery Shiv Blade, Overlord of the Duel of Swords, and hereby confer upon him the acting rank of Second Lieutenant of the Yerfer Infantry."
Oh, this is utterly ludicrous. Everyone knows that the Yerfer Infantry was utterly destroyed in the Battle of Tolkinarion, several years ago when New Caithness was at war with some clearly inferior power.
How can we expect you to offer proper rulings when you can't even remember these simple bits of history that anyone who was paying the slightest bit of attention remembers quite clearly?
Good lord. I still can't believe that I threatened Helix into hiring you.
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
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From: ianmackrazy@aol.com (Ian MacKrazy)
Date: 30 May 2000 17:23:48 EDT
"As a result, after lengthy deliberation, I hereby order that Siera Redwin be exhumed and brought before me to chair the field court martial and render summary judgement upon these two disgraceful would-be gentlemen."
Once again, your prideful arrogance betrays you. As should be clear from recorded history, everyone knows that if Siera Redwin is ever somehow returned, I hve first claim on her time. If you wish to use her in your insane grasp for power, then I'd suggest you be a little more careful about how you approach these matters.
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
Date: 30 May 2000 17:23:48 EDT
"As a result, after lengthy deliberation, I hereby order that Siera Redwin be exhumed and brought before me to chair the field court martial and render summary judgement upon these two disgraceful would-be gentlemen."
Once again, your prideful arrogance betrays you. As should be clear from recorded history, everyone knows that if Siera Redwin is ever somehow returned, I hve first claim on her time. If you wish to use her in your insane grasp for power, then I'd suggest you be a little more careful about how you approach these matters.
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
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From: ianmackrazy@aol.com (Ian MacKrazy)
Date: 30 May 2000 17:25:26 EDT
"I had thought to make it commoner, but because I am certain that it was Starfare's influence over you that brought you to commit this crime against the sport, I won't impose that great a penalty."
Starfare, Starfare, Starfare. Look, I realize the woman is a crazed menace, but, really, don't you think you're obsessing just a bit? Do you ever stop to think that it might be MY influence rather than hers? Are you truly that paranoid?
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
Date: 30 May 2000 17:25:26 EDT
"I had thought to make it commoner, but because I am certain that it was Starfare's influence over you that brought you to commit this crime against the sport, I won't impose that great a penalty."
Starfare, Starfare, Starfare. Look, I realize the woman is a crazed menace, but, really, don't you think you're obsessing just a bit? Do you ever stop to think that it might be MY influence rather than hers? Are you truly that paranoid?
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
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From: ianmackrazy@aol.com (Ian MacKrazy)
Date: 30 May 2000 17:26:39 EDT
"It is my ruling that Darian Redwin, heir to Siera Redwin's lands and titles, is hereby appointed to the rank of Duke. Duke Redwin shall forthwith be called upon to preside at the field court martial we have all waited so long to finally be done with."
Well, in fairness to Lady Crumblingplaster, I must say that this is a very fair and sensible ruling, as Lord Redwin is more than suited for such an exalted honor.
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy
Date: 30 May 2000 17:26:39 EDT
"It is my ruling that Darian Redwin, heir to Siera Redwin's lands and titles, is hereby appointed to the rank of Duke. Duke Redwin shall forthwith be called upon to preside at the field court martial we have all waited so long to finally be done with."
Well, in fairness to Lady Crumblingplaster, I must say that this is a very fair and sensible ruling, as Lord Redwin is more than suited for such an exalted honor.
Regards,
Ian MacKrazy