Date: 6/14/2000 1:37 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
This evening, folks, I thought I would update you on the goings on in my dueling life -- you know, fill everyone in on the details they can't live without.
First of all, let me say that Beck Weller is undefeated against me -- two matches, two decisive wins for him. I call the kid Greystoke because he acts like an apeman, but whatever that mojo is, it's working. Impressive.
Oh, very important... Anubis Karos, my favoritest punching bag in the whole wide world, is no longer 0 for 2 against me. It's 0 for 4 now, and I really can't imagine ever losing to him. He fancies himself a godling, but the boy is the biggest spinning kick magnet in the whole joint. He's personally eaten more than half of the spinning kicks dealt in the past two weeks, and it really hasn't improved his personality at all.
On the topic of Anubis -- everyone keeps telling me that no weapons are allowed, that I can't use my brass knuckles to offer free deconstructive orthodontics during my matches, yet Anubis routinely walks into the ring wearing brightly polished metal gloves. Is this a concession made to him on account of his other shortcomings, is he the DoF Special Olympian? Or has he actually used some of that mythical gold to bribe someone off?
I read plenty of rip-snortin' promises from this guy Karnival, but the big man didn't show for one match with me. I've been there, I've dealt the damage and taken it in spades, and I know I didn't see him anywhere near the Outback. What gives? Is he going to threaten me through a pen and paper, or does the guy actually fight when he's finally cornered?
Let's see here... It's a pity my challenge was invalid, but that's what I get for not greasing some palms ahead of time, and the Diamond Quest is coming up real soon.
THAT is going to be a trip.
Anyone want to start a betting pool on me winning and becoming the new Diamond?
I'll give you 4 to 1 odds, friends and hecklers... Step right up and test your strength!
Finally, major props go out to Melissa Appleton. Her apples are firm, her keyster is sound as a pound, and she fights like a slap-fighting toddler so you can really get into watching her wiggle and jiggle and shimmy as she falls.
That's it for this edition of the eagerly-anticipated and widely-renowned State of the Scarpia address.
If any of you had the balls, you'd team up and beat me down from emerald.
But then, that's a mighty big "if" just now.
I'm your next Diamond.
Hail to the chief.
All my love,
Scarpia
State of the Scarpia Address
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/15/2000 1:01 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
I fought four duels tonight.
I won four duels tonight.
Lilly beat me at craps -- again.
You people need to bet me more on our duels so I can make more so I can gamble more so I can finally beat her damned winning streak.
Clear enough?
And where's the "snapperhead" Karnival guy?
Promises everywhere, and not a face to smash...
Wish you people would find a way to make it more challenging for me.
I've got, what... Three losses in the last three weeks? Beck Weller, Tareth Thorn and the lovely Goldfish Girl Koy?
I've got what, twenty one wins in the last three weeks?
Does that seem wrong to you? Shouldn't you guys be putting up more of a fight?
Have a meeting or something, delegate some non-wusses, make a dream team, and bring 'em on.
I'm getting bored with the rest of you.
Except Anubis.
He bleeds in new and exciting ways every time I spinkick that sorry face of his.
I'll never get bored of beating his mangy hide.
All my love,
Scarpia
From: Antonio Scarpia
I fought four duels tonight.
I won four duels tonight.
Lilly beat me at craps -- again.
You people need to bet me more on our duels so I can make more so I can gamble more so I can finally beat her damned winning streak.
Clear enough?
And where's the "snapperhead" Karnival guy?
Promises everywhere, and not a face to smash...
Wish you people would find a way to make it more challenging for me.
I've got, what... Three losses in the last three weeks? Beck Weller, Tareth Thorn and the lovely Goldfish Girl Koy?
I've got what, twenty one wins in the last three weeks?
Does that seem wrong to you? Shouldn't you guys be putting up more of a fight?
Have a meeting or something, delegate some non-wusses, make a dream team, and bring 'em on.
I'm getting bored with the rest of you.
Except Anubis.
He bleeds in new and exciting ways every time I spinkick that sorry face of his.
I'll never get bored of beating his mangy hide.
All my love,
Scarpia
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/15/2000 3:06 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jaycy Ashleana
>I've got, what... Three losses in the last three weeks? Beck Weller, Tareth
>Thorn and the lovely Goldfish Girl Koy?
You forgot me, Scarface. ::drawing a smiley face after her words::
With love,
"Laura Ashley"
From: Jaycy Ashleana
>I've got, what... Three losses in the last three weeks? Beck Weller, Tareth
>Thorn and the lovely Goldfish Girl Koy?
You forgot me, Scarface. ::drawing a smiley face after her words::
With love,
"Laura Ashley"
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/15/2000 2:19 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Qzarian3
You forgot me too..
Kheld
From: Qzarian3
You forgot me too..
Kheld
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/19/2000 10:45 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
Let's see now... Catty Brie writes the following love note:
"Are you having some kind of ego trip? Who cares what your dueling record is. I'm sure there are people that have a much better record than you, so until you prove you can never be beaten by anyone I would stop bragging to everyone about how good you think you are. No one likes a bragger."
First... Of course I'm on an ego trip, you skirted halfwit. Everyone can see that.
Second... I care what my dueling record is, and some other people may care when I use my Emerald rank to snag the Diamond rank. It's fairly obvious even to the mental midgets among us: records matter, rank matters, winning feels nicer than losing. You should try it some time, pussycat.
Third... There are people with much better records than me. None of them are in their fifth week of fighting in DoF. I'm rookie of the moment, sweetmeat. Don't like it? See if you can do better. Clock's ticking.
Fourth... No one alive "can never be beaten by anyone." The point isn't invincibility, it's winning well, losing well, and winning well a lot more than you lose well.
Fifth... You might stop bragging, but then, you've got nothing to brag about other than the ability to bear kittens and hold forth in a decidedly petulant tone (from what I heard of your whining in the park, anyway).
Sixth... It's "braggart," baby, not "bragger."
It was the thought that counted, though, Pippi. Now go play with your little friends and challenge me when I'm not busy winning 135 Crowns off the Tareth v. Jaycy fight.
All my love,
Scarpia
From: Antonio Scarpia
Let's see now... Catty Brie writes the following love note:
"Are you having some kind of ego trip? Who cares what your dueling record is. I'm sure there are people that have a much better record than you, so until you prove you can never be beaten by anyone I would stop bragging to everyone about how good you think you are. No one likes a bragger."
First... Of course I'm on an ego trip, you skirted halfwit. Everyone can see that.
Second... I care what my dueling record is, and some other people may care when I use my Emerald rank to snag the Diamond rank. It's fairly obvious even to the mental midgets among us: records matter, rank matters, winning feels nicer than losing. You should try it some time, pussycat.
Third... There are people with much better records than me. None of them are in their fifth week of fighting in DoF. I'm rookie of the moment, sweetmeat. Don't like it? See if you can do better. Clock's ticking.
Fourth... No one alive "can never be beaten by anyone." The point isn't invincibility, it's winning well, losing well, and winning well a lot more than you lose well.
Fifth... You might stop bragging, but then, you've got nothing to brag about other than the ability to bear kittens and hold forth in a decidedly petulant tone (from what I heard of your whining in the park, anyway).
Sixth... It's "braggart," baby, not "bragger."
It was the thought that counted, though, Pippi. Now go play with your little friends and challenge me when I'm not busy winning 135 Crowns off the Tareth v. Jaycy fight.
All my love,
Scarpia
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/21/2000 6:41 PM Central Daylight Time
From: DreyStarke
Whoa... This Catty Brye is an idiot.
You tell'er, Antonio. Bravo. Yippee.
- Drey D'erest Sanchez Starke
From: DreyStarke
Whoa... This Catty Brye is an idiot.
You tell'er, Antonio. Bravo. Yippee.
- Drey D'erest Sanchez Starke
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/21/2000 6:51 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Catti Brye
>Fourth... No one alive "can never be beaten by anyone." The point isn't
>invincibility, it's winning well, losing well, and winning well a lot more
>than you lose well.
Dearest Scarpia,
From what I have seen of your actions in the park after loosing to a certain woman, I wouldn't be so capricious to say that you loose well. And darling, I don't want your love.
-Catti Brye
From: Catti Brye
>Fourth... No one alive "can never be beaten by anyone." The point isn't
>invincibility, it's winning well, losing well, and winning well a lot more
>than you lose well.
Dearest Scarpia,
From what I have seen of your actions in the park after loosing to a certain woman, I wouldn't be so capricious to say that you loose well. And darling, I don't want your love.
-Catti Brye
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/21/2000 7:48 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
In her latest installment of Whiner's Digest, Catty writes:
>Dearest Scarpia,
>From what I have seen of your actions in the park after
>loosing to a certain woman, I wouldn't be so capricious
>to say that you loose well. And darling, I don't want
>your love.
In order, as usual:
One... Let me define "lose well" and "win well" for you. You're obviously having trouble with this point.
For you, maybe losing well means shaking hands and chatting over afternoon tea after a particularly challenging game of gin rummy. For me, losing well means not getting steamrolled and not getting led into successive traps -- in short, not being a total sucker. A 5 - 4 loss is an accomplishment, a 5 - 3 loss is unimpressive, a 5 - 2 loss is a beating, and a 5 - 1 loss is an embarassment. *That* is what losing "well" means to me. As to winning well --
winning well is taking the initiative and holding on to it, effectively commanding the ebb and flow of the match, deciding when and where pauses are allowed and where the attack must be pressed relentlessly.
Now that I'm done clarifying things for you, let me return to your love note:
Two... My actions after losing, whether I give a thumbs up or drop my trousers and moon the judge or fall down bawling like a catty little girl, don't have Jack or spit to do with "losing well" as described in my previous letter.
Three... If you're trying to imply that I lost particularly hard to "a certain woman" in the park, I can admit with clear conscience that Janella thumped me in a close match (5 - 4) and Koy carpet bombed me into the hard top (5 - 1, a tolerable embarassment at the hands of one classy lady). Is it supposed to sting my overblown ego that you saw someone else beat me down?
Four... Look out, it's dictionary time again. You wouldn't be so "capricious" as to say that? You wouldn't be so impulsive/unpredictable/inconstant as to say that? Maybe you were looking for "hypocritical"? I can't be sure, since you inanely assumed that Scarpia writing about winning well more than he loses well had anything to do with manners and good will towards men.
Five... I didn't say that I "loose" well. I said that it's important to me to win well more than I lose well.
Six... Pussycat, I strongly suspect that you do want my love. Last I checked, the only reason your panties got twisted up so tight as to inspire these vapid letters of yours in the first place is that I ignored you at a challenge match.
I bet heavily on point spreads, round times and outcomes in the Tareth v. Ria Opal match. I was intent-as-all-Hell on the outcome, and it was the biggest payoff of my betting life. 135 gold crowns, with each crown fetching a C-note and change down on Houston street.
You wanted a fight when I was tending my wager. Does it surprise you that I couldn't make time for little miss sour apple?
If you're still tossing and turning in bed at night, flushed and gasping and yearning for a fight... Don't despair. After the thumping I got from Beck and the ultimate comeback made by Samuel "Action Jackson" Stalker, I could probably use some confidence duels. You're on.
All my love,
Scarpia
From: Antonio Scarpia
In her latest installment of Whiner's Digest, Catty writes:
>Dearest Scarpia,
>From what I have seen of your actions in the park after
>loosing to a certain woman, I wouldn't be so capricious
>to say that you loose well. And darling, I don't want
>your love.
In order, as usual:
One... Let me define "lose well" and "win well" for you. You're obviously having trouble with this point.
For you, maybe losing well means shaking hands and chatting over afternoon tea after a particularly challenging game of gin rummy. For me, losing well means not getting steamrolled and not getting led into successive traps -- in short, not being a total sucker. A 5 - 4 loss is an accomplishment, a 5 - 3 loss is unimpressive, a 5 - 2 loss is a beating, and a 5 - 1 loss is an embarassment. *That* is what losing "well" means to me. As to winning well --
winning well is taking the initiative and holding on to it, effectively commanding the ebb and flow of the match, deciding when and where pauses are allowed and where the attack must be pressed relentlessly.
Now that I'm done clarifying things for you, let me return to your love note:
Two... My actions after losing, whether I give a thumbs up or drop my trousers and moon the judge or fall down bawling like a catty little girl, don't have Jack or spit to do with "losing well" as described in my previous letter.
Three... If you're trying to imply that I lost particularly hard to "a certain woman" in the park, I can admit with clear conscience that Janella thumped me in a close match (5 - 4) and Koy carpet bombed me into the hard top (5 - 1, a tolerable embarassment at the hands of one classy lady). Is it supposed to sting my overblown ego that you saw someone else beat me down?
Four... Look out, it's dictionary time again. You wouldn't be so "capricious" as to say that? You wouldn't be so impulsive/unpredictable/inconstant as to say that? Maybe you were looking for "hypocritical"? I can't be sure, since you inanely assumed that Scarpia writing about winning well more than he loses well had anything to do with manners and good will towards men.
Five... I didn't say that I "loose" well. I said that it's important to me to win well more than I lose well.
Six... Pussycat, I strongly suspect that you do want my love. Last I checked, the only reason your panties got twisted up so tight as to inspire these vapid letters of yours in the first place is that I ignored you at a challenge match.
I bet heavily on point spreads, round times and outcomes in the Tareth v. Ria Opal match. I was intent-as-all-Hell on the outcome, and it was the biggest payoff of my betting life. 135 gold crowns, with each crown fetching a C-note and change down on Houston street.
You wanted a fight when I was tending my wager. Does it surprise you that I couldn't make time for little miss sour apple?
If you're still tossing and turning in bed at night, flushed and gasping and yearning for a fight... Don't despair. After the thumping I got from Beck and the ultimate comeback made by Samuel "Action Jackson" Stalker, I could probably use some confidence duels. You're on.
All my love,
Scarpia
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/21/2000 8:00 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Catti Brye
Dearest Scarpia,
I accept your challenge. And by the way, the meaning of capricious is: subject to whims or passing fancies. And yes that is the word that I was looking.
-Cattie Brye
From: Catti Brye
Dearest Scarpia,
I accept your challenge. And by the way, the meaning of capricious is: subject to whims or passing fancies. And yes that is the word that I was looking.
-Cattie Brye
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/21/2000 8:04 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
Just a little FYI, kiddo...
ca*pri*cious (adjective)
First appeared 1601
: governed or characterized by caprice : IMPULSIVE, UNPREDICTABLE
synonym see INCONSTANT
-- ca*pri*cious*ly (adverb)
-- ca*pri*cious*ness (noun)
Take it to Merriam Webster.
All my love,
And lessons, too,
Scarpia
From: Antonio Scarpia
Just a little FYI, kiddo...
ca*pri*cious (adjective)
First appeared 1601
: governed or characterized by caprice : IMPULSIVE, UNPREDICTABLE
synonym see INCONSTANT
-- ca*pri*cious*ly (adverb)
-- ca*pri*cious*ness (noun)
Take it to Merriam Webster.
All my love,
And lessons, too,
Scarpia
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 6/21/2000 8:10 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
And as one teeny, tiny, minor point of order...
I accepted your challenge, sweetheart. You're the one couldn't hold your water until my wager was decided. I'm just giving the people what they want...
...Your blood on my shirt.
All my love,
Scarpia
From: Antonio Scarpia
And as one teeny, tiny, minor point of order...
I accepted your challenge, sweetheart. You're the one couldn't hold your water until my wager was decided. I'm just giving the people what they want...
...Your blood on my shirt.
All my love,
Scarpia
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 7/6/2000 12:58 PM Central Daylight Time
From: X Kel Killer x
Dear Antonio,
I find your writings not only amusing but very funny. Basically you are never caught with you pants down and I think that is a quality more people need.
Kel Killer
One grudge
is enough
From: X Kel Killer x
Dear Antonio,
I find your writings not only amusing but very funny. Basically you are never caught with you pants down and I think that is a quality more people need.
Kel Killer
One grudge
is enough
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 7/7/2000 3:34 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Antonio Scarpia
If you want to see someone caught with their pants down, check out the cork on Halfwit Island.
By the way, the Archjunkie out there thinks that us pugilists are all mental midgets, and that our sport is a joke.
I say we go kick the spit out of all those ganja-sucking feather-pluckers.
All my love in a Rated G way,
Scarpia.
From: Antonio Scarpia
If you want to see someone caught with their pants down, check out the cork on Halfwit Island.
By the way, the Archjunkie out there thinks that us pugilists are all mental midgets, and that our sport is a joke.
I say we go kick the spit out of all those ganja-sucking feather-pluckers.
All my love in a Rated G way,
Scarpia.
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 7/7/2000 5:20 PM Central Daylight Time
From: X Kel Killer x
Dear Tony,
Sounds good to me!
Kel Killer
One grudge
is enough
From: X Kel Killer x
Dear Tony,
Sounds good to me!
Kel Killer
One grudge
is enough
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Re: State of the Scarpia Address
Date: 7/7/2000 6:04 PM Central Daylight Time
From: X Kel Killer x
::After reading the 24 page post on a matter of Intimacy in the workplace he returns to the outback's familiar board.
Dear Tony:
That was probably one of the funniest arguments I have ever seen. Not because either of you won but because you raised a brow on an item that should not have taken place. One other thing, I would advise in the future not to tempt Janella with a reason to draw blood. Believe me, I knew her during her so called "dark period." Nether the less the idea of you Boning her is a bet that that not even you would place money on.
Kel Killer
One grudge
is enough
From: X Kel Killer x
::After reading the 24 page post on a matter of Intimacy in the workplace he returns to the outback's familiar board.
Dear Tony:
That was probably one of the funniest arguments I have ever seen. Not because either of you won but because you raised a brow on an item that should not have taken place. One other thing, I would advise in the future not to tempt Janella with a reason to draw blood. Believe me, I knew her during her so called "dark period." Nether the less the idea of you Boning her is a bet that that not even you would place money on.
Kel Killer
One grudge
is enough