From: cygnetsera@aol.com (CygnetSera)
Date: 21 Mar 1998 17:26:57 EST
The Seraph Cygnet's Journal
Silverlake Cottage/ 16th, early morning
As I spend more time in Rhydin, I feel less and less in control of my inherent graces. Even when I look back to the first time I felt the pull of emotions unbefitting of the 1st Seraph, I find that catalyst in my life a mere shadow of the intense light I now feel coursing through my being. Where I have fallen from one grace, and then granted redeemption, I now cross a path of a more devastating emotion... one I must
cast from my heart and seek forgiveness if I am to move on and find happiness in this place... this place called Rhydin.
What fickle folly veils this world centered in the mulit-verse. Of all my travels as I have exsisted over the inifinite winds of time, this place binds me with work that finds even me questioning my ability. What ever the One Power of Divine Life has in store for me is not to question though. So I remain in my humble cottage, continuing with my service to the DoS, enjoying the friendship and fun of the TDL, and now, once again dealing
with unrequited love. But in this revelation I have found a more tempered spirit... where one love has taken a space in my heart and left it cold, another, less obvious, has done the same, but in a different way. My part in his thoughtless and almost callous endeavor, is to be held accountable as well. Now I must face the challenge of his forgiveness so that I may truely free my heart to love again, without any shadow of doubt or remorse or...
guilt.
I am not proud of the fact that for weeks after learning the Emperor Of Shylasa did not return the love I felt deep within the very essence of my being, I allowed one of the most evil and dangerous emotions to tarnish my spirit. I never thought I could experience such devastation to who I have become in the 9 Orders, seated directly below the One. Was this to be yet another test? I don't have the answer to my own question. I just know the
more time I spend in Rhydin, the less celestial I seem to be... such feelings of less divine emotions are surfacing. I must seek the council of the 9 Orders, but first, I must be forgiven by the one who's love is unrequited.
I sat in solitude for days, sick from the very feeling that once was a most glorious love, then turned inward to a cancerous jealousy. What devil lives in jealousy, I must say he has taken me well. As if I, Cygnet Seraphin, angel and celestial being made from the purest love of the One, as if I were that jealous devils lover, and he took me in his throws of passion and I became tortured and sick and affected.
I sit here, kneeling, weeping tears of uncommon pain, needing the Divine Love of my Father to help me find that love of all living beings that I have been so blessed with. And in my solitary meditation, right at this very moment, I know what needs to be done. I begin to prepare for the journey to Shylasa and the Chysana'sal Palace. I have no fear.
In the time and space before I appeared on Shylasa, an empowering light of the purest celestial nature came upon me. I sat in this incredible aura for what seemed like years, only to find but a blink of an eyes time had passed.
I was pure and cleansed, naked and nebulous in my true form of a celestial being.
In my hand I held the last tear I had shed in my jealous agony... jealous that Gnimish Gnimoi, the Emperor of Shylasa had chosen to love the faery Topaz Eludes and not me, the Seraph Angel.
The tear I held was no more that of salt and water than would be any other tear I might have shed, but more a reminder of what pains and joys can be felt by a ever growing and feeling heart. But in that moment the light of the Divine embraced me, my captured tear that I held became the deepest green of a jealous heart, the brillance like that of an emerald... and it was then I knew I had removed the demon from within, and I held my jealousy
in a tremulous hand. I took my jealousy, now embodied in a beautiful gemstone, and wrapped it in a swatch of white velvet from one of my robes. Taking a silk green tie to secure the velvety wrap, I then placed it in the bottom of a small ornate chest that had a secret compartment. The chest was made from all the colors of the universe, brilliant and alive.
With the emerald tear of jealousy, I placed a single petal from the deepest crimson rose grown in the garden of Light. The petal representing my true love for Nimmish, yet being one love, one petal from the rose of my heart that I now know is capable of loving more than once. Just as I loved Adonai and gave him my innocence, I found myself with an even deeper love for the Shylasa Emperor... but unrequited, as he showed quite clearly by his
heartless deeds.
And with the the single red rose petal, I placed a handful of fleeting envy in the shape of white rose petals from the garden of Shadows. My soul and heart would be free, I thought as I gazed into the small chest that now contained those emotions that I could not bear to live with any longer. Taking a feather from my right wing, I placed it with jealousy, love and envy, banishing that part of me forever, or so I was hopeful that was to
be. An angel feather is a most precious thing to posess. I wanted Nimmish to somehow feel the depth of the love I carried for him and the love I was now setting free. I hoped it was not too late...
Upon my emotions, I placed a velvet bag that held the Emperors name spelled out on small, polished stones, this being the final truth that we were not meant to be. Sitting there, the reality caused me to become weak with sadness, but I was spent inside... I had no more to give. I closed the chest, knowing my deepest thoughts and emotions would now be forever delivered to him, so he knew it was done. So he too could find the path he needed to
take. We would both be free.
After tying a gold ribbon about the chest, a ribbon made from the light of the halo I wear, unseen but for a soft aura surrounding my head, I placed the chest in my pocket. I had decided to wear my Robe of Light to visit Shylasa, even though I knew I would not see the Emperor, nor speak to a living soul. The pocket in this robe is quite deep and the chest fit snuggly. Now I had but one remaining possesion to take with me
and leave with Gnimish Gnimoi.
In the bottom draw of my wardrobe, wrapped in a piece of raw white silk torn from my sacred Gown of the Order, is my brothers scimitar. I am forbiden to speak his name, for one night he tried to kill my spirit and pull me into the darkness of Satans abyss. I fought with unwavering faith and love and truth to the One, the holy power of our Father's Light... And my brother screamed his loyalty to Lucifer as he ripped my gown.
I felt the blade of his sword cut my soul, but my lightness was to powerful, and he fell into darkness, becoming evil, a lost soul turning to serve the other side. I picked up the blade that could not destroy me. The scimitar was my Deliverence. It represented a choice. It was a weapon of truth. I took the pale wood and glimmering brass hilt in my hand and wiped my blood from the blade. The steel was alive, not ordinary, and I carefully
bound the weapon in the piece of silk torn from my gown.
Now, thousands of years later, I know what I must do with my fallen brother's weapon. Removing the still wrapped sword from the drawer, I reached up into the heavens and covered the silk with a net of midnight blue sky, then securing that with the cord from about my waist, the scimitar was safely bound.
This sword of Deliverance would be my offering to the Emperor. The Divine power it held could be used but once and only once. Gnimish would hold that power... after all, he had an empire to save... or his marriage...
Sometimes celestial travel is nothing more than an idle thought, but my trip to Shylasa was an exception. I was weary upon my arrival at the palace gate, the bound sword in my right hand, the small chest still in the pocket of my gown. No one saw me as I laid the wrapped Sword of Deliverence on the perfect blue steps of Chysana'sal. Reaching into the pocket of my gown, I tugged the chest from the fabrics hold, placing it beside the weapon.
There was no need to remain any longer in this world where I would never belong, so I vanished into a soft scattering of celestial light, hardly an occurance that might be noticed. Perhaps part of my aura lingered... I almost feel I left a small essence behind...
Back at my cottage, I write this final passage in my journal. What price is paid for forgiveness? What green eyed demon is jealousy to drive even a light heart to such
depths of pain and sadness, I wonder.
Before I pack a small bag for a trip to the Garrison Territory to join the General, I can only pray I am forgiven...
Cygnet Seraphin
Redeemed1st of the 9 Orders
Keeper of the Queue, ad call, DoS
Jade Gryphons, TDL
~cs~
Forgiveness (Cygnet)
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From: gnimishrw@aol.com (Gnimish RW)
Date: 23 Mar 1998 06:03:59 EST
Another night passed on Shylasa, and Gnimish Gnimoi sat alone once more within his small chambers in Chysana'sal...Alone with his thoughts, emotions, and a group of gifts from an angel...The box sat open on the table before him, her feather laid close by.
The gnome sat back in his chair, holding Deliverance in his right hand, studying the sword as his thoughts flew by. Most prominent among them was a simple "Why?" It was obviously an object possessed of much power...the feather was that of an angel, precious if nothing else...the teardrop stone a thing of beauty...why were these things bestowed upon him?
The question simply created more confusion within him, and a part of him feared he might know the answer...Hadn't they already gone their separate ways, though? Were the gifts a token of love, given in hope? Or were they symbolic of a final farewell? He simply had to know, to try to calm the torrent of emotion flowing through a mind not accustomed to such.
Rising from the chair, sheathing Deliverance and taking her feather in hand, the gnome summoned up what power he could, opening a gate...the swirling disk of bluish-white mists beckoning him. The flow of emotion only became more intense as he stepped through, appearing before the small cottage the angel called home.
Twirling the feather between his fingers he approached the door...a mix of fear, hope, determination guiding him...he could only wish that she wouldn't turn him away now, of all times...
Date: 23 Mar 1998 06:03:59 EST
Another night passed on Shylasa, and Gnimish Gnimoi sat alone once more within his small chambers in Chysana'sal...Alone with his thoughts, emotions, and a group of gifts from an angel...The box sat open on the table before him, her feather laid close by.
The gnome sat back in his chair, holding Deliverance in his right hand, studying the sword as his thoughts flew by. Most prominent among them was a simple "Why?" It was obviously an object possessed of much power...the feather was that of an angel, precious if nothing else...the teardrop stone a thing of beauty...why were these things bestowed upon him?
The question simply created more confusion within him, and a part of him feared he might know the answer...Hadn't they already gone their separate ways, though? Were the gifts a token of love, given in hope? Or were they symbolic of a final farewell? He simply had to know, to try to calm the torrent of emotion flowing through a mind not accustomed to such.
Rising from the chair, sheathing Deliverance and taking her feather in hand, the gnome summoned up what power he could, opening a gate...the swirling disk of bluish-white mists beckoning him. The flow of emotion only became more intense as he stepped through, appearing before the small cottage the angel called home.
Twirling the feather between his fingers he approached the door...a mix of fear, hope, determination guiding him...he could only wish that she wouldn't turn him away now, of all times...
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From: perrinis@aol.com (Perrinis)
Date: 25 Mar 1998 01:44:00 EST
When the day's work was done, Perrinis always liked to turn the lights of his office off, lock the door and spent a fair moment in reflection of his personal life. That way, he figured, he would not forget what he had waiting for him at home.
The young General had been doing a passing job of not allowing the lingering.... things between Gnimish and Cyggy to bother him. Things had gotten much easier for him in the past months, and it took less and less diplomatic skill to present a proper face to his nation and his peers in RhyDin City. Delilah was learning to count to... six, maybe, her record is now and potty training was something she had finally accepted.
But painful memories have a way of slinking back from the shadows of yesterday like so many imps and gremlins. For now, a perennially infamous monkey wrench had been thrown into his life: Jhessail Silvertree...
Despite what Drake had never and would never tell him, Perri did in time admit to himself that perhaps he wasn't the best husband for Drake... what did the fact that he loved her unconditionally and completely add up to in the end, after all? He was too stubborn and too hot-headed, gossip had decreed of him. What did it matter, that he reassembled his life to stay with her, to make her happy?
That meant nothing, because there was one thing he could not accept.
So Jhess made a cuckold of him... four years after his first great and total love abandoned him in an untimely death, his second love who promised him the world betrayed him. For all the courtesy and such they would exchange for the sake of their beloved, innocent little Delilah, who could ever expect him to forget that?
And who would ever expect him to forgive the monkey wrench that ended up sharing a bed with his wife and making him look to be some boorish villain?
Drake still wearsthe rings that he gave her, the rings that he promised eternal faithfulness to her with. Though the intention may not be ill, the thought of Drake's hand.. touching Jhess intimately.... the thought of those precious rings against Jhess's skin had drove him close to the taste of his own bile at times.
So who could expect him to forgive so soon, so lightly?
Why, his new true and total love... his angel and comfort... According to her, he could not love totally with such other feelings in his heart....
But those deep seated feeling of pain and hate and anquish were never new to him..he was raised in them, he had loved two women before, and totally, only to be betrayed totally..
But what to do now? He wanted Cyggy near to him.. he -needed- Cyggy near... the very thought of her leaving his arms sent a grieving shiver down his spine. But now.. she seems confused. Her "old flame," Gnim was single again, as it were.... and given his reluctance to let bygones, namely Jhessail, be bygones, he was afraid that he might lose her.
He shuddered deeply, and in the lonely quiet of his dark office, he wrapped his arms around himself... no one else was there to hold him in this, his darkest hour.
Painful memories haunt like gremlins and imps, and shadows can not cover them forever.
(...to be continued)
Date: 25 Mar 1998 01:44:00 EST
When the day's work was done, Perrinis always liked to turn the lights of his office off, lock the door and spent a fair moment in reflection of his personal life. That way, he figured, he would not forget what he had waiting for him at home.
The young General had been doing a passing job of not allowing the lingering.... things between Gnimish and Cyggy to bother him. Things had gotten much easier for him in the past months, and it took less and less diplomatic skill to present a proper face to his nation and his peers in RhyDin City. Delilah was learning to count to... six, maybe, her record is now and potty training was something she had finally accepted.
But painful memories have a way of slinking back from the shadows of yesterday like so many imps and gremlins. For now, a perennially infamous monkey wrench had been thrown into his life: Jhessail Silvertree...
Despite what Drake had never and would never tell him, Perri did in time admit to himself that perhaps he wasn't the best husband for Drake... what did the fact that he loved her unconditionally and completely add up to in the end, after all? He was too stubborn and too hot-headed, gossip had decreed of him. What did it matter, that he reassembled his life to stay with her, to make her happy?
That meant nothing, because there was one thing he could not accept.
So Jhess made a cuckold of him... four years after his first great and total love abandoned him in an untimely death, his second love who promised him the world betrayed him. For all the courtesy and such they would exchange for the sake of their beloved, innocent little Delilah, who could ever expect him to forget that?
And who would ever expect him to forgive the monkey wrench that ended up sharing a bed with his wife and making him look to be some boorish villain?
Drake still wearsthe rings that he gave her, the rings that he promised eternal faithfulness to her with. Though the intention may not be ill, the thought of Drake's hand.. touching Jhess intimately.... the thought of those precious rings against Jhess's skin had drove him close to the taste of his own bile at times.
So who could expect him to forgive so soon, so lightly?
Why, his new true and total love... his angel and comfort... According to her, he could not love totally with such other feelings in his heart....
But those deep seated feeling of pain and hate and anquish were never new to him..he was raised in them, he had loved two women before, and totally, only to be betrayed totally..
But what to do now? He wanted Cyggy near to him.. he -needed- Cyggy near... the very thought of her leaving his arms sent a grieving shiver down his spine. But now.. she seems confused. Her "old flame," Gnim was single again, as it were.... and given his reluctance to let bygones, namely Jhessail, be bygones, he was afraid that he might lose her.
He shuddered deeply, and in the lonely quiet of his dark office, he wrapped his arms around himself... no one else was there to hold him in this, his darkest hour.
Painful memories haunt like gremlins and imps, and shadows can not cover them forever.
(...to be continued)
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From: perrinis@aol.com (Perrinis)
Date: 26 Mar 1998 02:08:53 EST
It had finally happened, and in retrospect, quicker that even the bitter General expected it to. The angel, his love, had left. He locked the door behind her when she had departed from his office in the Manor, and he approached his massive mahoghany desk, leaning forward, his hands in solemn rest on the polished surface.
It was doomed from the beginning, wasn't it? All she ever talked about was forgiveness, for all the people who had done them wrong.. what kind of talk was that? Did Adonai care when he betrayed her? Did Drake look back at all when leaving him for Jhess's arms? Gnim had dropped her like so much dirt for Topaz, then left Topaz to her fate within a month, did he care for what he had done? Did Jhessail care for all the machianations and tortures she
subjected so many to?
The answer: A resounding no.
Even now, he swayed with the pain of another double-over betrayal. Cyggy couldn't toss aside her feelings for Gnim... yes, Perri knew this now, that in the end, she would've eventually left him for the gnome.
Just like Drake, she would have left him.
He straightened up, pulling his arms around himself--a gesture that had become quite common for him, and bent his head down, his cheekbone pressed against his shoulder as he closed his eyes.
Why did he even try? He threw everything he had out for Cyggy... and he was happy; happy to be held by her and to think that he would be able to trust her, that he'd be able to have someone dear forever.
But trust in a loved one is a fool's measure.
That much was painfully, painfully obvious now. She was the "pure light of love," she always told him that. And if love itself could leave him in his darkest hour, what hope did he have for anyone?
What hope did he have for happiness?
Delilah woke up, and was crying. He unlocked the door and headed upstairs to see what was wrong.
His father raised him to be a good soldier, and the first concern to any good soldier is duty. In the pain of losing Serrah, he turned to the duty of an Emporer. When times were rocky with Drake, he turned to the duty of a General.
Now, he pushed his pain aside and set his mind to the duties of being a father.
Once again, Delilah was his only dear and loved one. She is all he has left.
-General Perrinis Alabaster
Date: 26 Mar 1998 02:08:53 EST
It had finally happened, and in retrospect, quicker that even the bitter General expected it to. The angel, his love, had left. He locked the door behind her when she had departed from his office in the Manor, and he approached his massive mahoghany desk, leaning forward, his hands in solemn rest on the polished surface.
It was doomed from the beginning, wasn't it? All she ever talked about was forgiveness, for all the people who had done them wrong.. what kind of talk was that? Did Adonai care when he betrayed her? Did Drake look back at all when leaving him for Jhess's arms? Gnim had dropped her like so much dirt for Topaz, then left Topaz to her fate within a month, did he care for what he had done? Did Jhessail care for all the machianations and tortures she
subjected so many to?
The answer: A resounding no.
Even now, he swayed with the pain of another double-over betrayal. Cyggy couldn't toss aside her feelings for Gnim... yes, Perri knew this now, that in the end, she would've eventually left him for the gnome.
Just like Drake, she would have left him.
He straightened up, pulling his arms around himself--a gesture that had become quite common for him, and bent his head down, his cheekbone pressed against his shoulder as he closed his eyes.
Why did he even try? He threw everything he had out for Cyggy... and he was happy; happy to be held by her and to think that he would be able to trust her, that he'd be able to have someone dear forever.
But trust in a loved one is a fool's measure.
That much was painfully, painfully obvious now. She was the "pure light of love," she always told him that. And if love itself could leave him in his darkest hour, what hope did he have for anyone?
What hope did he have for happiness?
Delilah woke up, and was crying. He unlocked the door and headed upstairs to see what was wrong.
His father raised him to be a good soldier, and the first concern to any good soldier is duty. In the pain of losing Serrah, he turned to the duty of an Emporer. When times were rocky with Drake, he turned to the duty of a General.
Now, he pushed his pain aside and set his mind to the duties of being a father.
Once again, Delilah was his only dear and loved one. She is all he has left.
-General Perrinis Alabaster
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From: cygnetsera@aol.com (CygnetSera)
Date: 02 Apr 1998 17:39:11 EST
The Seraph Cygnet's Journal
Silverlake Cottage, 17th Noon
I don't know what I expected after I had left my symbolic gesture of seeking forgiveness from Nimmish at Chysana'sal on Shylasa. I returned to the cottage after a trip to the Garrison Territory, but my last encounter with the General had been tense and draining... the hate and contempt in his heart toward Jhess and his divorce from Drake was so intense that even I could not comfort him from the poisoned place his heart remained in.
I sat quietly in the calming ambiance of my cottage on the southerly shore of Silverlake, my thoughts distant as I stared blankly out the window, the night near the place where dawn colors the sky with wisps of pastels that glow from the not yet peaking sun along the eastern horizon. I tensed in my chair when I sensed his energy, (weak as he was from his diminishing health) I knew the Emperor of Shylasa stood outside my door. I smoothed the simple
brushed silk and lace shift down over my form as I walked to the door, anticipating his knock, hesitant as emotions swirled relentlessly in my mind, certain of his unrequited love.
As I pulled the wood door open, a waft of cool breeze danced about me. There stood Gnimish Gnimoi, holding my delicate, irredescent wing feather in his hand, the sword of my fallen brother hanging at his hip. Could he see the pain behind my eyes? Did my warm expression belie what I was feeling deep inside?
He looked so in control, so deliberate with his presence before me as I gazed down at him... I can hear him even now, speakingh with such clarity, not a hint of a tremulous waver in his voice, " Fair Evening, Cygnet"... the gentle darkness of the approaching dawn fooling ones senses. I gestured him inside, inviting him to take a seat near the small open hearth stove by the window where my chair and another chair were arranged. He sat slowly,
taking in the the simple cottage room, still twirling my wing feather between his fingers. Such a subtle action, yet I was very keen to the tenderness and care he used touching it. I smiled inwardly as I watched him... so afraid of my feelings... so confused... and when I asked him why he came, the hint of laughter on his voice when he replied, " I think you know why I've come to visit...", made me suddenly feel as though I was lost in a terrible
void... was this another of his insensitive gestures?, I thought, as I took my seat beside him.
What transpired next between the Emperor and myself, would change my life forever...
Cygnet Seraphin
Redeemed1st of the 9 Orders
Keeper of the Queue, ad call, DoS
Jade Gryphons, TDL
~cs~
Date: 02 Apr 1998 17:39:11 EST
The Seraph Cygnet's Journal
Silverlake Cottage, 17th Noon
I don't know what I expected after I had left my symbolic gesture of seeking forgiveness from Nimmish at Chysana'sal on Shylasa. I returned to the cottage after a trip to the Garrison Territory, but my last encounter with the General had been tense and draining... the hate and contempt in his heart toward Jhess and his divorce from Drake was so intense that even I could not comfort him from the poisoned place his heart remained in.
I sat quietly in the calming ambiance of my cottage on the southerly shore of Silverlake, my thoughts distant as I stared blankly out the window, the night near the place where dawn colors the sky with wisps of pastels that glow from the not yet peaking sun along the eastern horizon. I tensed in my chair when I sensed his energy, (weak as he was from his diminishing health) I knew the Emperor of Shylasa stood outside my door. I smoothed the simple
brushed silk and lace shift down over my form as I walked to the door, anticipating his knock, hesitant as emotions swirled relentlessly in my mind, certain of his unrequited love.
As I pulled the wood door open, a waft of cool breeze danced about me. There stood Gnimish Gnimoi, holding my delicate, irredescent wing feather in his hand, the sword of my fallen brother hanging at his hip. Could he see the pain behind my eyes? Did my warm expression belie what I was feeling deep inside?
He looked so in control, so deliberate with his presence before me as I gazed down at him... I can hear him even now, speakingh with such clarity, not a hint of a tremulous waver in his voice, " Fair Evening, Cygnet"... the gentle darkness of the approaching dawn fooling ones senses. I gestured him inside, inviting him to take a seat near the small open hearth stove by the window where my chair and another chair were arranged. He sat slowly,
taking in the the simple cottage room, still twirling my wing feather between his fingers. Such a subtle action, yet I was very keen to the tenderness and care he used touching it. I smiled inwardly as I watched him... so afraid of my feelings... so confused... and when I asked him why he came, the hint of laughter on his voice when he replied, " I think you know why I've come to visit...", made me suddenly feel as though I was lost in a terrible
void... was this another of his insensitive gestures?, I thought, as I took my seat beside him.
What transpired next between the Emperor and myself, would change my life forever...
Cygnet Seraphin
Redeemed1st of the 9 Orders
Keeper of the Queue, ad call, DoS
Jade Gryphons, TDL
~cs~
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From: gnimishrw@aol.com (Gnimish RW)
Date: 12 Apr 1998 04:21:14 EDT
So here he was...sitting inside the small Silverlake cottage that Cygnet Seraphin called home. He continued twirling the angels' feather between his fingers for quite some time, even after she had offered him a seat. He handled the feather partially out of nervousness, the calm expression on his face and the determination in his voice only partially hiding his uneasiness.
Uneasy didn't even explain it. He was genuinely frightened...
Might as well get to the point, Gnimish figured, but it still took quite some time for him to do so. The gnome and the angel spoke, sitting across from each other, her seeming to be very tolerant of the fact that all he was doing was rambling, going around in circles. He sounded like a bloody stammering schoolboy, and he knew it...he must have asked three times why she sent the gifts that she did. Part of him knew...of course he knew...but
he needed the affirmation, the sound of her saying it out loud to him. That had happened once before, though, hadn't it? And he had turned her away...
Could he really expect this gentle creature, this entity formed of light and love, seemingly fragile in her own beauty, to bare her heart to him once more, knowing how he responded the last time? The fear that maybe she would not kept him from the subject for too long, and in the end it took a question from her to get him to finally face up to why he had come here....the conversation had turned to that night in Gnorts' tavern, when he had
turned her away...and seemingly being able to read his emotions through his facade of calmness, she asked simply..."And are you now professing your love to me?"
Nearly an hour of talk and it all came down to that...
He paused for a long moment, cursing himself as an idiot for not being able to just say what he wanted to. He could feel the tension building within him as he finally forced the words out of himself with simple determination...
"Yes, I am...."
Date: 12 Apr 1998 04:21:14 EDT
So here he was...sitting inside the small Silverlake cottage that Cygnet Seraphin called home. He continued twirling the angels' feather between his fingers for quite some time, even after she had offered him a seat. He handled the feather partially out of nervousness, the calm expression on his face and the determination in his voice only partially hiding his uneasiness.
Uneasy didn't even explain it. He was genuinely frightened...
Might as well get to the point, Gnimish figured, but it still took quite some time for him to do so. The gnome and the angel spoke, sitting across from each other, her seeming to be very tolerant of the fact that all he was doing was rambling, going around in circles. He sounded like a bloody stammering schoolboy, and he knew it...he must have asked three times why she sent the gifts that she did. Part of him knew...of course he knew...but
he needed the affirmation, the sound of her saying it out loud to him. That had happened once before, though, hadn't it? And he had turned her away...
Could he really expect this gentle creature, this entity formed of light and love, seemingly fragile in her own beauty, to bare her heart to him once more, knowing how he responded the last time? The fear that maybe she would not kept him from the subject for too long, and in the end it took a question from her to get him to finally face up to why he had come here....the conversation had turned to that night in Gnorts' tavern, when he had
turned her away...and seemingly being able to read his emotions through his facade of calmness, she asked simply..."And are you now professing your love to me?"
Nearly an hour of talk and it all came down to that...
He paused for a long moment, cursing himself as an idiot for not being able to just say what he wanted to. He could feel the tension building within him as he finally forced the words out of himself with simple determination...
"Yes, I am...."
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From: cygnetsera@aol.com (CygnetSera)
Date: 10 May 1998 08:38:40 EDT
* * * * * * * * * * *
...and seemingly being able to read his emotions through his facade of calmness, she asked simply..."And are you now professing your love to me?"
Nearly an hour of talk and it all came down to that...
He paused for a long moment, cursing himself as an idiot for not being able to just say what he wanted to. He could feel the tension building within him as he finally forced the words out of himself with simple determination...
"Yes, I am...."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Seraph Cygnet's Journal
Early Morning, Silverlake Cottage
I felt this incredible warmth... it was like the sun washing over me on a gentle summer afternoon. I knew a flush had taken to my cheeks as a rush of heat spread from my belly and coursed thru my body... it was as though every nerve was on fire.
"Yes, I am...." , he answered to my query with a voice that was steady and true.
I may have stared at Gnimish for seconds, or it may have been minutes. All I know is when his face became so close to mine that I felt his breath dance over my cooler flesh, I knew the fire inside me was real... and I knew forever in my heart as our lips brushed tenderly, that the words need never be spoken by this gnome, this Emperor... that what I felt was something so divinely empowering that now everything was right... everything between us was
part of this love.
But then he said it. I heard him as though his voice roared of thunder, booming overhead, vibrating, deep... but his spoken words were even and soft. My mind sorted every sound of every word, "I love you Cyggy"... while my heart raced and danced and sang. And I heard my own voice repeat what he already knew.
I know I had felt something from the first moment I saw him in the arena. And it only grew brighter and deeper as the TDL season began... the notes passed between us, the talks, the duels... months passing... each of us taking a different path, going seperate ways, only to find the the journey leading us to here, this place and time when everything is as it should be.
Everything is as it should be.
Were it possible for me to pen my smile at this very moment I write, the most brilliant celestial light would seem dim in comparison. There we sat, Gnimish and me, so close, touching hands, sipping tea... opening our hearts and souls, traveling the same path at last.
Cygnet Seraphin
Redeemed1st of the 9 Orders
Keeper of the Queue, ad call, DoS
Jade Gryphons, TDL
~cs~
Date: 10 May 1998 08:38:40 EDT
* * * * * * * * * * *
...and seemingly being able to read his emotions through his facade of calmness, she asked simply..."And are you now professing your love to me?"
Nearly an hour of talk and it all came down to that...
He paused for a long moment, cursing himself as an idiot for not being able to just say what he wanted to. He could feel the tension building within him as he finally forced the words out of himself with simple determination...
"Yes, I am...."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Seraph Cygnet's Journal
Early Morning, Silverlake Cottage
I felt this incredible warmth... it was like the sun washing over me on a gentle summer afternoon. I knew a flush had taken to my cheeks as a rush of heat spread from my belly and coursed thru my body... it was as though every nerve was on fire.
"Yes, I am...." , he answered to my query with a voice that was steady and true.
I may have stared at Gnimish for seconds, or it may have been minutes. All I know is when his face became so close to mine that I felt his breath dance over my cooler flesh, I knew the fire inside me was real... and I knew forever in my heart as our lips brushed tenderly, that the words need never be spoken by this gnome, this Emperor... that what I felt was something so divinely empowering that now everything was right... everything between us was
part of this love.
But then he said it. I heard him as though his voice roared of thunder, booming overhead, vibrating, deep... but his spoken words were even and soft. My mind sorted every sound of every word, "I love you Cyggy"... while my heart raced and danced and sang. And I heard my own voice repeat what he already knew.
I know I had felt something from the first moment I saw him in the arena. And it only grew brighter and deeper as the TDL season began... the notes passed between us, the talks, the duels... months passing... each of us taking a different path, going seperate ways, only to find the the journey leading us to here, this place and time when everything is as it should be.
Everything is as it should be.
Were it possible for me to pen my smile at this very moment I write, the most brilliant celestial light would seem dim in comparison. There we sat, Gnimish and me, so close, touching hands, sipping tea... opening our hearts and souls, traveling the same path at last.
Cygnet Seraphin
Redeemed1st of the 9 Orders
Keeper of the Queue, ad call, DoS
Jade Gryphons, TDL
~cs~